Swe3tAngel Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 after a month and a half of not speaking to each other... cuz he changed his # and i sent out a letter saying id never forgive him for ruining my life.. but after that letter i stayed strong n decided to work on myself n accept reality that he wanted me out of his life.. i sent a letter sayin i was doin fine n that i had no hard feelings etc etc.. so we didnt speak for a month... a few days ago he saw me at school n i just walked by him n didn't say hi or show any emotion.. it was like i saw a random stranger.. and i did look diff cuz i lost weight n felt great.. he called me w a blocked # that night to apologize n my initial reaction was its ok im doing fine no worries.. but he didnt end it like that. he cried on the fone sayin that i had ruined his life n that i destroyed all his comfort zones n been blind etc etc so i said im sry if i cud go bak in time id do things diff n not hurt him... i tried my level best to keep my cool n b there for him n b understanding n also forgiving .. until he pushed it and put so much guilt on me that i started crying and it ended up being a huge argument and he hung up the fone on me... so the next day i felt like **** n i emailed him sayin that it wasnt cool wat he did and that id appreciate some respect n he called me to say that it was the biggest mistake of his life to have called me to apologize n that i reassured him y he changed his fone # n that he wants nothing to do w me .. so i got emotional sayin that it was so messed up for him to apologize n then take it bak n add so much guilt on me n expect me to just stay strong again n go bak to being all happy without him and i tried to explain to him that it didn't have to be so messy n that we cud speak normally but he kept yelling n telling me that he wants out n that i shudnt speak to him ever again..and hung up while i was talking (of course i cudnt call bak cuz didnt have his #) he saw me at school that day n said hi n i was like we need to speak n he was all cold n rude n all distant n i was like ur actions r not cool cuz u contacted me so dnt tell me to walk away wen ur done one who came back n now put so much on me n left.. but of course he yelled at me told me off n told him to f off and dat he didnt call to apologize it was a mistake n dat he never wants to speak to me or see my face ever again n that it was a mistake n a slip up that he did that n told me to forget abt it... but how cud i.. thats totally wrong n emotional torture... he walked aawy after i went home i almost had a heart attack n i emailed him saying that it wasnt nice wat he did to me n that i wud never b able to forgive him again and im done playing the nice person n that this time id hurt him bak the same way he hurt me n that id ruin him just like he ruined me n hit him where it hurts the most so that hed understand what he did to me.. he called me crying and being all dramatic that im threatening him n he was all panicky and crying and begging me to leave him alone n i was like cut the crap n think of ur stupid mistakes bfore putting so much on me.. and he hung up d fone on me abt 10 min later i got a call from campus police officer who was really nice (luckily) and wanted to help me out n hear my side n i explained everythign and the officer said that he took my side n that he's a jerk n that he didnt wana report it cuz if he did id get kicked out of school n he wanted to help my case n basically told me to stop emailing him /threatening him.. n i was shocked n i said ok n the officer reassured me that he took my side n that my ex was wrong to do wat he did n basically hes' a jerk n that i shudnt waste my time... but now im so shockd n so depressed n horrified that my education can b jeapordized if he gets a restraining order against me.. wen its him who messed upl... and im a dumbass that regardless of all this ****, i still feel partially responsible n i still care somehow although im so done, but i just cant collect myself n say f it n move on again i lost all my strenght i jsut deep down wished that one day hed come bak on his own n wed at least talk normally n try to b friends.. but i feel like now thats ruined n i just dk how to explain what i feel but it sux n im really devastated i feel like i cant trust anyone ever again or b capable of loving... and i think im the stupidest person in the world that i still love him :'( :'(
Pinkbutterflybarbie Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 I couldn't read all your message because of all the 'n's. Please use full words when typing something long it's so much easier to read. Sorry 1
Author Swe3tAngel Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 I couldn't read all your message because of all the 'n's. Please use full words when typing something long it's so much easier to read. Sorry n = and sry.
tuxedo cat Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Please learn to write properly. You will get more responses. 1
TaraMaiden Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 You're at school, aren't you? Please don't tell us you write your school work like this......? Of course you don't. Consider us your teachers.....
Gottabestrong Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Please stop emailing or contacting him in any other way. And I hope the call from campus police made it clear that threatening someone is not in order. I am not sure what horrible thing your ex did other than breaking up with you. But you should still never threaten people that you will destroy their lives. And yes, I also found it difficult to read and understand your post. I understand that you were emotional when you wrote it and just wanted to get it all out, but it helps to take the time to formulate proper sentences and not abbreviate your words.
Author Swe3tAngel Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 Sorry i was emotional when i typed all this and no i am not in school and i don't write like that and it just happened but i will repost this in a better paragraph form and hopefully will get more responses
darkmoon Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 you wrote "n horrified that my education can b jeapordized if he gets a restraining order against me.." keep a low profile, prove you can behave, no need for a restraining order then, the guy might be wrong, but you can't afford to do anything other than calm right down just date others, more compatible than him, you were fighting like cat and dog, two people who should never have met
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