truth_prevails Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Reading around, it was a big surprise to me that a lot people think that in a one-time cheating situation it's okay not to tell your bf/gf. The reasoning goes, confessing is just selfishly relieving your own guilt and it's just going to hurt your partner for no reason. When I first read that I thought, boy this person is really doing some mental cartwheels. Actually there's an easy test for that though, which is to ask, if you were cheated on would you want to know? And actually the more I read I realize a lot of people would answer no. And I don't really get that, but at least they're being consistent. What I want to know is, what if you and your gf/bf had/have a discussion, that if there was any cheating, that you would rather know the truth? Do you think your argument still holds up? And if you were the one who cheated, you could still ask your gf/bf in a way that doesn't make it too obvious, what their opinion is about whether they would rather know or not know. Nobody talks about that option, but isn't that what you should do if you really cared about that person and you weren't just making an excuse up to cover your own backside?
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Reading around, it was a big surprise to me that a lot people think that in a one-time cheating situation it's okay not to tell your bf/gf. The reasoning goes, confessing is just selfishly relieving your own guilt and it's just going to hurt your partner for no reason. When I first read that I thought, boy this person is really doing some mental cartwheels. Actually there's an easy test for that though, which is to ask, if you were cheated on would you want to know? And actually the more I read I realize a lot of people would answer no. And I don't really get that, but at least they're being consistent. What I want to know is, what if you and your gf/bf had/have a discussion, that if there was any cheating, that you would rather know the truth? Do you think your argument still holds up? And if you were the one who cheated, you could still ask your gf/bf in a way that doesn't make it too obvious, what their opinion is about whether they would rather know or not know. Nobody talks about that option, but isn't that what you should do if you really cared about that person and you weren't just making an excuse up to cover your own backside? Most people excuse those who cry the loudest, despite their evil intention. Cheaters cry. They listen and want to comfort them, and to heck with the other person. Of course, they are also thinking of the other person: By him/her not knowing, they never have to go through this terrible pain. Although, they have every right to know, and make a decision based around that knowledge. After all, who would want to go through their whole life together with someone, based on a lie? Most people wouldn't want to waste a year like that. But this is the era in life, where we glorify such things as cheating, and condemn, and help victimize the victim, the real victim. We throw out cheap excuses like it was a "mistake", when it wasn't. It is like people no longer understand the value or importance of words. To call cheating a "mistake" is to give the wrongful deed a lighter judgement. A wrist-slap. Clearly comes from a lack of understanding of it. But my point is, people tend to want to take the easy road. They even advice people into taking the easier road. But all it does is cause pain in the end, even greater pain. What's the saying, "Nothing stays hidden forever." Eventually things are brough to light; sometimes it takes years, or only seconds. Unfortunately it takes years more than not. But they do not realize, like I said, that is years wasted off the true victim's life, so the evil-doer can live without worry of losing their prize.
sayyes19 Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Reading around, it was a big surprise to me that a lot people think that in a one-time cheating situation it's okay not to tell your bf/gf. The reasoning goes, confessing is just selfishly relieving your own guilt and it's just going to hurt your partner for no reason. When I first read that I thought, boy this person is really doing some mental cartwheels. Actually there's an easy test for that though, which is to ask, if you were cheated on would you want to know? And actually the more I read I realize a lot of people would answer no. And I don't really get that, but at least they're being consistent. What I want to know is, what if you and your gf/bf had/have a discussion, that if there was any cheating, that you would rather know the truth? Do you think your argument still holds up? And if you were the one who cheated, you could still ask your gf/bf in a way that doesn't make it too obvious, what their opinion is about whether they would rather know or not know. Nobody talks about that option, but isn't that what you should do if you really cared about that person and you weren't just making an excuse up to cover your own backside? Nothing would be worse than a long and happy relationship that you find out was a lie late in life.
Recommended Posts