Ariel21692 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 I got with my bf about 3 yrs ago now. I had a little girl when we got together and now I have a little boy with him. He confessed that he was a virgin when we got together and he's a bit curious about other girls. (The man that says he loves me and wants to get married). But I kind of understood that, but I wasnt willing to just let him go. Well at the beginning of the year I found him on dating sites, confronted him, we broke up and he came back crying and apologizing saying he will never do it again. He kept that promise and moved on to a porn problem. Not just fake Hollywood porn but self shots, expose my ex girlfriend type of porn. Like real people, self made porn, live webcam sex, **** like that. Well I confronted him on this issue also. He said it would stop and all that. He broke his phone and a bunch of drama. We were still having issues and so I told him he needs to just leave and be with other girls (out of anger). He actually left, I was hoping for a fight or "NO BABE YOUR THE ONLY ONE FOR ME" But nope, he left and went on about his life. He said he would keep in-touch and that this would just be a break so WE could get ourselves together. Well after he left I was expecting a call or something, to at least say he missed his son and possibly my daughter. But nothing for the longest. So I wrote him and cussed him out (yes I know it was wrong but I was hurt). So after 4 days of fighting he apologizes and says he wants to come home. Me being a dumbass and sucker and actually loving him I said yes. Now that hes been home for about two weeks, I have been having dreams and visions of his email (never clear of what it is, just his emails). So I hacked his account and the DAY he left he was back on the sites and craigslist and just everywhere. He was writing girls to come over to have sex with him and in the park and talking like hes been single and just being a blatant whore. But as I looked I can see most of the girls declined him, idk if some said yes, but the ones that i saw with replies, the girls denied him. I feel he only came back because he realized its not that easy to find SEX as he thought. I feel he only came back because he wanted to be home not here with me, but missing the amenities and all being near the college and everything else. He said he didnt have a phone, but when I went up there to pick up my son, he had an old Iphone that had wifi and he was using to call people though an internet app. I called my cellphone just to make sure it worked and it did. So he was lying to me saying he had no phone and that he was going to contact me. I dont know what to think or do. I'm falling out of love with him. I think this sex issue will always be an issue and I honestly am afraid to marry him. I dont believe in divorce I take vows seriously and I dont want to make a HUGE mistake. I dont think he came back for the right reasons. I know you dont know our whole life story, but just from the little details I displayed can you please just give me an idea of what you would think or do. We are young 22 and 24.
sharsh Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 My ex has the same exact probl to the f*cking t. I can't tell you it'll get better. I fought for three years to "keep him away" from this stupid sh*t. I believe until they get over it or work through whatever the f this is it's not going to change. You're never going to trust him. You're always going to want to look through his things. It's self torment. My best advice is to kick him to the curb. I don't know what else to tell you. If there's some magical fix for this I haven't found it yet. I love my ex to death, but it's not worth the hurt. 1
coffeebean201 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 With the craigslist/online dating - he sounds like he's going after sex and/or attention. Sounds very depersonal and needy. Hugs to you. Encourage other good friendships around you as he is in/out of your life. Friendships that support you (not critical of him etc). 1
KraftDinner Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Do not, under any circumstances, marry this man. 2
CptSaveAho Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 You need to let him go to sow his oats...it sucks but it what it boils down to. Treat the relationship like its over and move forward 1
movingon12 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Is he a good boyfriend to you? No. Is this man a good role model for your kids? No. Does he deserve another chance? No. You need to cut him out of your life as fast and as much as you can - I realise that's hard as you have a son together, so complete NC won't be possible, but it's over. You deserve better than this. Your children deserve better than this. 1
Author Ariel21692 Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 My ex has the same exact probl to the f*cking t. I can't tell you it'll get better. I fought for three years to "keep him away" from this stupid sh*t. I believe until they get over it or work through whatever the f this is it's not going to change. You're never going to trust him. You're always going to want to look through his things. It's self torment. My best advice is to kick him to the curb. I don't know what else to tell you. If there's some magical fix for this I haven't found it yet. I love my ex to death, but it's not worth the hurt. Thank you for your advice, I think I will just let him go. 1
Axee Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 I am surprised you even stayed so long. Run , run for your life. he is going to be a bad influence on your son and daughter too.. SInce you have asked for straight truth.. This is what I will say "Please , be sure of the character of the man, with whom you decide to have children , before you decide to have a child with him " in the future.
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