Muhrica Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Really shot myself in the foot this time lol. It seems the whole blunt and truthful approach doesn't work for me. I am 5'3, 25 years old, and haven't had a sexual encounter at all. Well, the closest I came (no pun intended) to one is I was with this girl 7 years ago and I was basically getting oral done. Then really pissed off redneck dad came in, and it's really hard to stay calm and collected when you are balls deep in his daughters face. ANYWAYS... I haven't dated in so long. I am apparently a pretty awesome guy. really fun to talk to, relatable. I have 8 platonic friends, 3 of which I had at one time wanted something more with. but past is the past. I just don't get affected by things like that. In truth, I am probably a bit more stoic then I need to be. I think it scares girls off before finishing that last step. the last step being where they actually see me as someone to be passionate with. I don't consider myself a bad looking guy. I think I am decently put together. Fit, funny, career driven etc... But for whatever the reason I just never had sex. Not that I never wanted to have sex, it's just that in order to have sex you need to sort of, idk, close the deal and actually GET the relationship part. I kind of refuse to put my body at risk by sleeping with prostitutes which is exactly what my friends want me to do. ...So idk. I think a change needs to happen with me. What do you guys think I should do? I have those good traits I listed, but what should I change? Should I be more active and daring? Should I try to be more artsy? I mean I can't do anything about my height, but I never really saw that as a flaw. It never came up as one at least.
coffeebean201 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 I don't think you need to specifically change anything about yourself - you sound like a great guy. My suggestion is to consider dating a woman who is shorter than you and who shares your values. Date her exclusively for a few months, introduce her around, and then see if she is serious about you.
Author Muhrica Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 Haha, thing is, she'd have to be the one to introduce ME around. I am new to the area cause I am enlisted in the military. Also, is it normal to attract the girls who are single moms or whom have a LOT of baggage? What character trait is usually the one they latch onto?
dasein Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Don't lead with a relationship, I made that mistake way too many times in life. Lead with polite, respectful, creative and definitive unmistakable sexual interest. It works so much better. Flirt like a madman, look into NLP, get them smiling and laughing, comfortable touching you, and you will get laid. It's not too late, not at all.
Necris Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Technically since you did have sex you aren't really a virgin, but since you seem to have some level of experience and nothing from what I've read here seems like it would be a problem, I'd say you definitely have a chance at 25.
somedude81 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 I don't think you need to specifically change anything about yourself - you sound like a great guy. My suggestion is to consider dating a woman who is shorter than you and who shares your values. This "advice" gets thrown around so much and it's absolute bullsh*t. Out of the 20 or so girls I've asked out, only one was taller than me. At 5'6 every one else was shorter than me, they all turned me down. No matter what height she is, all women like tall men.
SJC2008 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Lie Lie lie and lie!!! You're at an age where the average person, man or woman would "wierd out" about a 25 year old virgin. Sure some would be like "Oh late bloomer, no big deal" as I would (similar situation) but in our society you gotta remeber if you don't fit within a particular "social norm" you're an ogre . Don't waste your time and wait for the one woman who will accept your situation, lie you ass off homie and don't feel guiley about it at all. Trust me they won't sniff you out. You'll see posts and reply to other posts about women and their "radar" and stuff... Don't buy into it!!! If their "radar" was so spot on they wouldn't of got pumped and dumped on the 3rd date you know what I mean. It's like what coach said when you score a touchdown, act like you've been there before. Women are turned off by older virgins/older inexperienced men for a couple reasons: #1) "Once he gets experience he'll leave me for someone better". #2) "He'll never get me off". Now once you get it you'll get sniffed out like a dime bag at the airport so be prepared to be dumped or questioned at the least so be prepared for that, don't be falling in love with them with the likely impending doom... You can play it off. "it's been a while since I've been in a R so my stamina is down". The bottom line is to get the experience and sooner or later you'll get more comfortable around women and be better in the sack! You'll hear the don't lie, the right woman won't care, etc whatever! Don't listen to it. I'm not going to risk dying alone because I don't fit within a social/societal norm. It's an odds game and the odds are at your age she'll wierd out and run for the hills like someone told her DJ Pauly D is in the hills with an autographed t-shirt!! So play the odds and don't risk getting dumped while waiting for that white whale that won't care!!! Get yours and good luck!!!
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Only fools think that you would be too old to lose your virginity. When did 25 become too old? What now? Is 10 the new age to start screwing? You are not old, far from it. Not too old to lose that, or anything else. You could meet a woman, who is a virgin too, or not, and she may not care, and you can lose it to her, maybe outside of marriage or when you are married. None of this matters really. Except to foolish people. Like I said before, if you are too old to be having sex; then some of these other people on here must be Crypt Keepers already - ready for the grave and beyond.
SJC2008 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Only fools think that you would be too old to lose your virginity. When did 25 become too old? What now? Is 10 the new age to start screwing? You are not old, far from it. Not too old to lose that, or anything else. You could meet a woman, who is a virgin too, or not, and she may not care, and you can lose it to her, maybe outside of marriage or when you are married. None of this matters really. Except to foolish people. Like I said before, if you are too old to be having sex; then some of these other people on here must be Crypt Keepers already - ready for the grave and beyond. You have a good point and the right women wouldn't care about his past IMO. TBS the way I look at it as I"m in a similar boat is that you gotta play the odds and the odds are that there is a STRONGER chance than not that woman will weird out so you gotta lie... Like I said, our society is so effed up that if you don't fit within the "bell curve" of social norms you're an ogre, outcatst. I'm not going to risk dying alone by waiting for that 1 in a million woman who will be ok with my past so I'm going to lie my ass off!!!
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 You have a good point and the right women wouldn't care about his past IMO. TBS the way I look at it as I"m in a similar boat is that you gotta play the odds and the odds are that there is a STRONGER chance than not that woman will weird out so you gotta lie... Like I said, our society is so effed up that if you don't fit within the "bell curve" of social norms you're an ogre, outcatst. I'm not going to risk dying alone by waiting for that 1 in a million woman who will be ok with my past so I'm going to lie my ass off!!! Whatever works. In the end, it will get you somewhere and nowhere. Lies never prosper. But you can throw the reverse at me, and say telling the truth doesn't either anymore. It is extremely hard to find the right one. Heck, it is rare for girls to go beyond 15 without losing their V-Card. Finding one would be hard, and finding one who isn't who may not judge may seem hard too. Women usually don't care though, if you find the right one. Again it is hard, but possible. Yes, it would suck to lose all your youth and all that fun waiting for one. But a woman will know if you are a virgin or not when it happens, lol.
Radu Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Lie about being a virgin, read up on female anatomy and for the love of god do not go in there with a printed map. If it develops in a good relationship later on, and you get to the 'marriage' point, you might want to mention it. Women tend to run from guys that are virgins at this 'advanced' age. I know it all too well, i lost mine just before my 25th bday and whenever i told that i was a virgin before that they would immediately start rationalizing why they should disengage. Some see it deep down as a responsability that they do not want to have, while some simply like to be led and telling them that you don't have the experience means that you have just subconsciously castrated yourself.
Nightsky Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Just lie about being a virgin. Even if you suck in bed quite a few guys who have been married and having sex for decades still suck in bed. So just enjoy. Also you have a great attitude I hope you approach girls this way. Be aggressive with hot chicks!
Author Muhrica Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 If by aggressive you mean shoulder throw them onto the ground and put them into a sleeper hold, then once they pass out drag them by their hair back to my cave then I have already been doing that. Only problem is it's really hard to get them to stay around to talk afterwords. :[ It seems majority rules that I should just not even bring it up in the first place ,as that might be where the problems lie. Something to consider for sure I suppose.
dasein Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 It seems majority rules that I should just not even bring it up in the first place ,as that might be where the problems lie. Something to consider for sure I suppose. These kinds of things and other heavy relationship topics shouldn't even be out there in early dates. As exclusivity becomes more and more likely, then some polite inquiries are reasonable. Before that it's bad manners and dates should be flirty and fun, not heavy. You will be fine, no need to lie about anything, just deflect any 20 questions type grilling you encounter.
Nightsky Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 If by aggressive you mean shoulder throw them onto the ground and put them into a sleeper hold, then once they pass out drag them by their hair back to my cave then I have already been doing that. Only problem is it's really hard to get them to stay around to talk afterwords. :[ It seems majority rules that I should just not even bring it up in the first place ,as that might be where the problems lie. Something to consider for sure I suppose. Be aggressive as in make moves. You know go in for the kiss that type of thing.
newmoon Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 i work with a guy in your situation (a bit). he's 32, 5'4, a virgin, has a masters in something, and cannot get it done :-) my advice: quick seeking friendships with women and let it be known when you meet someone that you're looking for a relationship/dating right off the bat. if you really want to move things along the worst thing you can do is start by friends first and drag it on before making your intentions known - perhaps that is why you are ending up with platonic friends you wish were more. and don't think it's all because of your height. i am 5'10 and dating a 5'8 guy - you can attract a woman of any height if you are confident, so work on thinking you're really great and it'll show, honestly. i am not sure why everyone is telling you to lie abiut being a virgin. i would just not tell at all. keep it secret and pretend you have experience. she might just think you need some training and a lot of women are willing to spend time on that :-)
Nightsky Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 i am not sure why everyone is telling you to lie abiut being a virgin. i would just not tell at all. keep it secret and pretend you have experience. she might just think you need some training and a lot of women are willing to spend time on that :-) I think that's what we're telling him. Don't bring up virginity, but if the topic for some reason comes up just be vague and act like you've done it. Also yes treat women romantically not like a friend. Show her you want a relationship through action.
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