Oregon_Dude Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Hi there, new here. I've been single for almost five years. I'm good-looking (enough), musically talented, a good guy. Been on plenty of dates, had some hookups, but nothing meaningful. How do you keep from feeling cynical, lonely and hopeless? Some days, this stuff is just so depressing. Thanks, OD
Locust Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 You are lucky you had that. Try being in my position where I never had a date and never had sex before and I'm in my mid 20's. Now that really sucks. You have a chance of finding someone so I wouldn't worry as muc has I should worry about myself. 1
NGC1300 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 How do you keep from feeling cynical, lonely and hopeless? Some days, this stuff is just so depressing. Thanks, OD I've gone back to using drugs. 4
Author Oregon_Dude Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 Got it, do more drugs. Thanks! 4
OpenBook Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Move away from Oregon? Or date out-of-state. I hear Oregon's got one of the highest ratios of men to women in the U.S. It's not you, it's your location. I've lived this (although not in Oregon).
Author Oregon_Dude Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 Not only do more drugs, but drink more too. Women are hard to figure out.I like your style. As far as location, that's interesting. Everyone seems to be in a relationship, so no one is interested. I love Oregon though, so leaving isn't likely. Dating LDR is tough too, done it, never doing it again. Hope everyone has a great night.
melodymatters Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Do what you did when you were five: go outside, just because, talk to strangers, find bugs and sunsets and playgrounds amazing ! 5 years and no joy ? No offense my friend, but my guess is the problem is coming from your end, not from a lack of cool, interesting, relatively attractive women crossing your path.
El Brujo Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Hi there, new here. I've been single for almost five years. I'm good-looking (enough), musically talented, a good guy. Been on plenty of dates, had some hookups, but nothing meaningful. How do you keep from feeling cynical, lonely and hopeless? Some days, this stuff is just so depressing. Thanks, OD Do what I did, turn your attitude around. Work on yourself, become awesome, do the things you've always wanted to do with your life (just don't kill anyone or rob any banks), and above all, make yourself indespensable. By that I mean learn how to be a good host, and be the deep friend that people can talk to when they feel like life has hit them below the belt. As for me, I'm in the process of following my own advice... I'm still cleaning the property up (made $2.7K selling all the junk in the house, and a few bucks more selling the tree trimmings for firewood)... I've started buying decent clothes and eating better... but most of all, after New Year's day I'm giving my old day job the kiss-off so I can get a better job that pays WAY more money and gives me a lot more free time.
Shaun-Dro Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Not only do more drugs, but drink more too. Women are hard to figure out. Women aren't attracted to good men. That's the problem you need to grasp right now. I've learned that years ago. Of course, you can remain a good guy in your heart, but never let them know it. You'll never get laid. Honestly, the single life is the most enriching. Getting casual hookups is the best thing since sliced bread if you really think about it. And ignore all these smarmy-looking couples you see walking the streets, looking like they're so happy, because believe me it's a farce! Your change to success with these dames will come when you grow darker, and moodier, and carefree because in their simple minds you're a man who needs work and these dames will be crashing down your door for the job. 1
mortensorchid Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 What else can you do about it? Either accept it as is or go out in the hopes that it too can happen to you. That's all we can do.
Author Oregon_Dude Posted December 14, 2012 Author Posted December 14, 2012 Hello again. It's pretty easy to say over the internet: if you're single, it's your fault. That's the same kind of cyclical logic that we've all heard. And it is complete BS. What about crappy, abusive people in relationships? They just found another crappy person. I'm meant to be alone. That is my conclusion. I am so tired, though, of people who want to diagnose you without knowing anything about you. There is absolutely nothing I am doing to deter relationships, or dating prospects. Some people find it so difficult to understand that sometimes, you're alone, and it's not your fault, and it's not anyone else's fault. But this is an advice forum, I guess. Advice to me is useless. Sometimes you just want to hear someone say, "Yep, I know how that feels." I could tell you a million reasons why I'm great, but the fact is that someone is going to tell me I'm putting out "the wrong vibes" or some such nonsense that is straight out of The Secret. To all the lonely people, I feel you. Keep trucking. You're not alone. 3
iris219 Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 You just have to be willing to accept whatever life has in store for you. It looks like I'm meant to be alone too and it gets hard at times, but I have no choice but to accept it and try to find happiness where I can.
Pacman Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Sick of being single? Nope. Sick of not getting laid for 3 months? Yes.
DC4 Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Move away from Oregon? Or date out-of-state. I hear Oregon's got one of the highest ratios of men to women in the U.S. It's not you, it's your location. I've lived this (although not in Oregon). mental note: move to Oregon. 2
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 mental note: move to Oregon. Actually, move to Alaska! Just make sure to take a bucket of antidepressants to counter the 24/7 darkness in the frigid winter months.
boaaaar Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 (edited) Actually, move to Alaska! Just make sure to take a bucket of antidepressants to counter the 24/7 darkness in the frigid winter months.Actually, move to Colorado!Just make sure to ... well, that's self-explanatory. (maybe wait a little to see if the new laws are stable) Edited December 14, 2012 by boaaaar 1
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Y'all are so depressing like I hate being single more than anything but I'm certainly not going to settle for it! I will do any and everything I can to get a guy. I am in dating sites I make myself up really pretty to go everywhere, I go to bars and stuff... I have goals and my goal is to not be single all of 2013 so get motivated! 2
Redbirdinabrightsky Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Y'all are so depressing like I hate being single more than anything but I'm certainly not going to settle for it! I will do any and everything I can to get a guy. I am in dating sites I make myself up really pretty to go everywhere, I go to bars and stuff... I have goals and my goal is to not be single all of 2013 so get motivated! Exactly right. If you're a guy, then there is no excuse to not be in a gym, have at least some suave clothes, and be on dating sites, and inside coffee shops, bookstores, or on MeetUp.com. Whatever puts your face out into the world, where you are doing things that are of genuine interest to you. If you can play music, be an fing Trubador, what-the-f-ever. Say "hi" and don't forget to smile at sexy strangers like ImperfectionisBeauty. The world is full of possibilities and you need to wake the f up and seize all of them. Life spent alone is not how we are meant to live, end of story, end of spiel. PS: Oregon rocks for having loads and loads of single women around, so I have no idea what that sex-ratio rumor is about, but I live in a college town and I am swimming in skirts. 1
kaylacole Posted December 14, 2012 Posted December 14, 2012 Y'all are so depressing like I hate being single more than anything but I'm certainly not going to settle for it! I will do any and everything I can to get a guy. I am in dating sites I make myself up really pretty to go everywhere, I go to bars and stuff... I have goals and my goal is to not be single all of 2013 so get motivated! just awesome girly=D and damn straight Redbird=d
Sarabi Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Hello again. It's pretty easy to say over the internet: if you're single, it's your fault. That's the same kind of cyclical logic that we've all heard. And it is complete BS. What about crappy, abusive people in relationships? They just found another crappy person. I'm meant to be alone. That is my conclusion. I am so tired, though, of people who want to diagnose you without knowing anything about you. There is absolutely nothing I am doing to deter relationships, or dating prospects. Some people find it so difficult to understand that sometimes, you're alone, and it's not your fault, and it's not anyone else's fault. But this is an advice forum, I guess. Advice to me is useless. Sometimes you just want to hear someone say, "Yep, I know how that feels." I could tell you a million reasons why I'm great, but the fact is that someone is going to tell me I'm putting out "the wrong vibes" or some such nonsense that is straight out of The Secret. To all the lonely people, I feel you. Keep trucking. You're not alone. Come to the UK...girls like an accent P.S. I know EXACTLY how you feel but I won't bore you with the happy clappy, sunshiney, rainbows, unicorns and positivity mantras that usually get thrown our way..!
Mrlonelyone Posted December 15, 2012 Posted December 15, 2012 Life is funny. Until you find what your looking for it doesn't feel like you'll ever find what your looking for. On the other hand there are no guarantees. Just enjoy who your with right now.
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