cerebra876324 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I need some advice here... I met a great girl online back in May, and we've been seeing each other a lot since July. She lives 2 hours away, but we both travel and see each other about 3-4 days per week. The relationship is going VERY well, we text and talk almost all day. We FaceTime at night, and are very much in love. I have very little dating experience, and she came out of a 2 year relationship before meeting me. She hasn't talked much about her ex, but he lives in the same town and I worry a bit. I spent the night with her last night and this morning I saw a text from him that said "good morning" on her iphone. I opened the text (I shouldn't have) and he was saying that being with her was the best two years, etc.... She has told me all day how she loves me and wants to be with me for a long, long time. Should I be worried???
Author cerebra876324 Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 What should I do? I don't want her to know I looked at her phone! I agree he is probably trying to get back with her.
mortensorchid Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Well, first of all you should not have opened the text when it wasn't on your phone. But now that you have, you have a problem. Otherwise you would've gone through this blissfully unaware of it. But now that you have opened the text, the old bf is trying to get back with her by sending a message like that. What to do? You should be wary of a few things here. First, you cannot let her know that you saw that message (unless she already does). COntinue on as if all is well. If you really like this girl then you should continue on as if all is well. Ask her sometime to "go steady" and the like. Second, she may be on the rebound and is jumping into this with you because she's ready for something that she didn't get that with the old bf. Proceed with caution, but don't let this hold you back from potential happiness.
Author cerebra876324 Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 Thanks for the advice. I had a great day with her again today and she didn't say anything about him texting her. I agree that I need to drop it and I shouldn't have looked at her phone. Lesson learned. She lived with the guy for a couple of months and they dated for like 2 years so I understand she may be "sort of" friends with him. I just don't want to get hurt. I talked a lot with her about how I trust her and I've always been honest with her, etc yesterday. She tells me she's more in live with me than ever. I just don't know what to think. I do trust her, but this worries me a lot. She is a super nice person, so her being nice to him may lead him on to think she is interested. Thanks for the advice everyone. Please pass along any more help you could give me!
veggirl Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Why don't you ask her if she is still friends with her ex or if they still talk...see if she lies. Personally I don't bother with people who keep their exes in their lives at all. 1
Author cerebra876324 Posted December 10, 2012 Author Posted December 10, 2012 I do know that she is still friends with him, and that does bother me. I had another great day with her today, and she told me all day how much she loves me and wants to be with me. However, I'm driving away tonight and I am two hours away. I so badly want to trust her that she is not interacting with him. We talked a lot today about trust and being honest with each other. Even though she has no idea I know that she is talking to him, it just really bothers me that he texted her good morning yesterday. My gut is telling me that something is up. I really do love her, and I want to trust her so badly. Why does this bother me so much?
coffeebean201 Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 Trust comes with time. It can't be rushed. One day you wake up and you just know you trust someone. And being a little worried about something is different from being bothered by something. I've seen more than one guy ruin a good thing because he was too controlling. She's a person and if she wants to chat with someone, she is going to chat with someone. If he is manipulating her or making her feel bad, then maybe she will need your help.
Author cerebra876324 Posted December 10, 2012 Author Posted December 10, 2012 You're right, I have to be able to trust her, and I'm sure that will come with time. I e never felt this way about a file before and I think she might be someone that has long term potential. It just totally shocked me that she still interacts with him. I either need to get over it or leave her, right? Is it pretty typical that girls text their ex's? I would never do that to her for the record. I told her when I left last night that she has my heart ad to take care of it. She said I have to trust her. She is right. I just have so much invested in this and I think she does too. I even have a $1000 pair of earrings for Christmas. She means so much to me. I just do not want to be in line for something that may fail soon due to her still having feelings for her ex. Thanks for the advice everyone.
veggirl Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 FFS you have been together for 6 months, NO $1000 GIFTS!!!!!! An ex texting "good morning" is inappropriate. that is TOO CLOSE. Just tell her what you saw. "I noticed your ex texted you goodmorning the other day. Is that a regular thing, are you guys in that regular of contact?" Why can't you talk to her about it? It makes you feel uncomfortable (as it should) because it is not appropriate to be "bff" with an ex...how long were they broken up when you met her? Were they EVER not in contact? If they have been "friends" since they broke up, she isn't over him and you are her rebound. Please find out before you waste more time on her. 2
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