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It's been 5 days NC. I had hope but not anymore should I send this?

Dkp

By Dkp
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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Dkp Member

Dkp

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Last goodbye?

 

Richard, I just wanted to say this to get some closure on my end. For some reason I thought you were being honest about getting things back in order in your life. I was here for you always have been. Offered everything I could to help you.. And you turned me away. It hurts so bad to know I wasn't worth it to you. I know you have been spending time with her.. and I made that very clear that this would be the last straw for me. I had lil hope that we would get back together but that's gone now.. Im moving on and I leave with a clean conscience because GOD knows I poured every once of love that I had into the ****ty relationship to try to make it work. No one has ever put me through this pain and suffering I never thought that the person i love so much and that meant so much to me would do this to me. Everything was a lie. I'll be changing my number and moving soon. You will NEVER hear from me again. Just think of me as I died. Goodbye

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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No. Do not send.

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cavalier99 Established Member

cavalier99

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NO. You will regret it. Trust us. Maintain self respect at all costs. NC protects you in these moment of weakness.

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na49 Established Member

na49

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Keep your pride and don't send it.

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KJBA2816 Member

KJBA2816

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Please do not send it. I think the majority of us here would rather you talk to us/post here any time you feel like breaking NC. Do not send, you will regret it, be strong x

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veggirl Established Member

veggirl

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NO!!!

 

Talk about giving him even more power and feeding his ego even more! It makes you look kinda desperate to send that tbh. Plus, you will drive yourself nuts waiting for a response (you KNOW you will be waiting for one!!)

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denxnis Established Member

denxnis

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READ THIS CAREFULLY!!!

 

I was in your shoes. If you send that, you will only hit the RESET button on your healing. You will check your email 100x a day hoping to get a response. When you get a response (if you do) it will not be what you wanted.

 

If this guy isn't moving mountains to get in contact with you he is not the one.

 

 

DO NOT SEND IT.

 

From my experience though, you won't listen to anyone here and send it anyways - I don't blame you because I did the same. But I promise you no good will come from it.

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Dkp Member

Dkp

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I haven't sent it.. I'm not because its true I will wait for a response. I want him to feel bad and guilty and tell me not to go because I'm freakin pathetic and I can't control my damn emotions right now. I want to scream!!!!!!!!!!!! I've gotten all of this great advice from all of you and im still being stupid! I'm not going to send it it's been 5 days and this is the first time where I got tempted to but I'm not : /

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KJBA2816 Member

KJBA2816

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I thought I was doing well, 6 data no contact, than I found out he was seeing someone new and I broke it. I'm back at 2 days no contact and I wish to god I hadn't contacting him I anger because the girl he is now head over heels in love with I was suspicious of in our relationship and I text him so angry asking how could you?!?! But he neve replied and he is probably loving it and its making his ego go way up but I now I realise it was silly and I am back at 2 days of no contact and its going to stay that way. Be strong. x

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KJBA2816 Member

KJBA2816

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I meant to say 6 days haha not data :)

youngnlove89 Established Member

youngnlove89

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Don't send it, you know why?

 

Have you ever had someone like you, maybe even be obsessed with you, and you didn't like them that way? You didn't care if they were sad that you told them "sorry I don't like you that way" or "I'm not interested"

 

Hasn't there ever been a time where someone liked you and wanted to be with you but you didn't like them that way? Whether it be a guy on the streets whistling at you, or a guy you went on a couple of dates with and it didn't work out or some guy you broke up with because he was just a rebound.

 

Do you remember how little you cared about this person? When you gave them their answer and walked away, you didn't think about them afterward? You didn't care how it affected them. You didn't think about plotting a plan to change YOUR own feelings and get them back. It's harsh, but it's human nature. You just did NOT care at all.

 

This is your ex. Sure, maybe he cares about you or thinks about you. (eh, probably not too greatly considering he cheated on you) He isn't missing you. He isn't plotting to win you back. He isn't regretting crap he did. He is with some other girl now. He is living his life. He is laughing, smiling, having fun while you are crying, angry, hurt.

 

It's hard. Trust me. I'm right here with you. But our ex's don't care about us anymore. Actions speak louder than words. If he loved you he would be doing anything to win you back. But he chose to let you go.

 

That should give you enough reason to accept and move on. And i'm not saying that by doing that it will be easy. No. It will be frickin hard. It will hurt everyday. You will cry. You will be angy. You will be hurt. Betrayed. Your heart will feel as if it has given up. You will wake up groggy from a nightmare of him with someone else. You will lose yourself. And you will cry some more. Everything else will become of no matter to you anymore. I know this because I'm right there with you. I know how it feels to want to make them hurt the same way they hurt you. But you can't. So stop trying because you will then just be hurting yourself.

 

Instead. Be a woman. Head up, chin high, shoulders back and smile. Hold your strength and your pride. Laugh. Live. and love again. Heal yourself. Take care of you. Move on and let him go. Because the best revenge is living well. Let go of any animosity you have with him. Let go of grudges. Letting go is such a relief but by holding on you are only hurting yourself. Let go of him. Now.

Edited by youngnlove89
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Dkp Member

Dkp

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Your all right. All I have is my pride left. Why am I going to give him the satisfaction that I'm over here moping and being miserable. It sucks that we have to play this game of pretending you don't give a damn when you do. If you want something go after it right? But I kno that doesn't apply to my situation. I guess I'll just fake it till I actually feel it. It sucks so bad tho.

TaraMaiden Established Member

TaraMaiden

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I replied to this same question in the other thread you put it in. Don't worry., My response is exactly the same as everyone else's....

 

NO!!

No, No, No, No, and most emphatically, definitely NO!!!

 

You know why?

because the instant you send it, you'll wonder how he will feel when he reads it, if he will show her, whether he will reply, when, in what way, will he acknowledge your pain, apologise, come back....

That's BREAKING NO CONTACT - YET AGAIN!!!

 

Quit hoping, quit sounding desperate, quit acting like a doormat! And there's so much poor me Drama queen in that message, he won't take it seriously. If I ever got a letter like that, I'd 'roll eyes' and throw it away....

If he's with her, you think he will do any different??

 

Do not, whatever you might think of doing - send that to him!

In fact, don't send anything to him, at all, ever!!

 

You don't get closure by contacting them again. In fact, you never, ever get closure from them, ever.

The only closure you get - is from you.

 

Just to repeat it.......

youngnlove89 Established Member

youngnlove89

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And I'm sure he knows how you feel already. He is the one who walked away. He is the one who knows you still wanted to stay. He kept walking though.

 

I've been that crazy ex gf before who did everything she could do to "win" him back. Sent letters, emails, texts, calls, spying....all that. And although, it gave me a high for a few minutes, afterward I felt like crap. And I regretted it. And it did nothing in my benefit, but made me a fool.

 

The best thing to do when someone walks away is to walk the opposite direction and never look back. If they want you back, they know what they need to do. and it's simple. They know you left the door open because you wanted it work out. That's how you should think of it, if he really loved you and missed you, it would be so easy for him to win you back. Instead he chose to let you go. He is risking that chance of you moving on and finding someone better.

 

Anyways, don't become that crazy ex. Become the confident, sexy ex who chose not to be treated that way.

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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Your all right. All I have is my pride left. Why am I going to give him the satisfaction that I'm over here moping and being miserable. It sucks that we have to play this game of pretending you don't give a damn when you do. If you want something go after it right? But I kno that doesn't apply to my situation. I guess I'll just fake it till I actually feel it. It sucks so bad tho.

 

 

Why do you actually want this person? What do you like about them? And I want tangible reasons (smart, funny, etc) not crappy cop-out answers like "he makes me feel good". I feel that you are more addicted to this person than actually like them. From everything you've posted, he seems like a pretty crappy individual.

youngnlove89 Established Member

youngnlove89

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Why do you actually want this person? What do you like about them? And I want tangible reasons (smart, funny, etc) not crappy cop-out answers like "he makes me feel good". I feel that you are more addicted to this person than actually like them. From everything you've posted, he seems like a pretty crappy individual.

 

Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most. Of everything. They make you feel so alive that you’d follow them straight into hell, just to keep getting your fix.

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Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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Some people bring out the worst in you, others bring out the best, and then there are those remarkably rare, addictive ones who just bring out the most. Of everything. They make you feel so alive that you’d follow them straight into hell, just to keep getting your fix.

 

Right, which is why it's important to try to break them down more logically. When you are in an addictive, destructive relationship like the OP was, or like you were from what I remember reading about your situation, breaking a relationship down into tangible categories can help center you when those feelings/addictions start coming up.

 

Part of being a human being is the ability to not be prisoner to our base impulses. That's what separates us from the animals (not calling the OP or you an animal by any means, just saying that to illustrate my point), who don't have that ability to reason.

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Dkp Member

Dkp

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Why do you actually want this person? What do you like about them? And I want tangible reasons (smart, funny, etc) not crappy cop-out answers like "he makes me feel good". I feel that you are more addicted to this person than actually like them. From everything you've posted, he seems like a pretty crappy individual.

 

I honestly can't think of any reasons at this point. I made a list the other day if the good and bad about him the bad was much longer. I fell in love with the person I thought he was. I thought he was gonna be the one.. He was everything I wanted in a man.. Honest, had goals was a great father he accepted me and my children we just connected I had been single so long and forgot how it felt to be with someone.. I went in too hard and now that I saw the real him it should be easy for me but I'm so use to him and I'm attached and I know he has the potential to be that guy that's what angers me.

Simon Phoenix Established Member

Simon Phoenix

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I honestly can't think of any reasons at this point.

 

And there it is. Nothing more needs to be said and thought about. Having potential simply means that you haven't done anything yet. His potential is completely irrelevant. You are projecting what you want him to be and ignoring what he is.

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