livelife Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Thoughts about me texting my ex telling him that i've accepted the fact that he no longer wants to work on things and that he has moved on. I wish you the best and maybe years down the road we can be friends." Thoughts? I want to add that closure for both of us, and mainly myself. I'm not expecting him to reply.
KJBA2816 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 The only problem is how truthful are you being? If you can do it without thinking he will make a mockery or you won't be sitting around for or be upset when he doesn't reply. I personally have learned no contact is the best thing, don't tell him show him! Walk around with your head held high and get on with your life good luck x 1
Author livelife Posted December 8, 2012 Author Posted December 8, 2012 Completely truthful. Although it hurts me I have fully accepted it. I sent it, not expecting a reply, but I will move on with my head high and no longer speak to him. I will start going on dates to get my confidence back. I will become the girl I used to be before all of the drama with him.
magnoliasoutherly Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Thoughts?Don't. There will likely never be closure. It's best to just NC all the way around.
Author livelife Posted December 8, 2012 Author Posted December 8, 2012 Don't. There will likely never be closure. It's best to just NC all the way around. I already did. I'm gonna start back up NC again but I had to send that for closure for myself.
KJBA2816 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I never got a chance for closure and even if I was to text him he wouldn't reply but if you think that's it and you have a peace of mind about it all? Good luck and make sure you stick to it go enjoy your life!
blotter Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 From a guy's perspective, if he has moved on, don't bother, he don't give a ****.
na49 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I think closure is BS. By the time I'm ready to be friends with my ex, I'm going to be so over her that I'm not going to want to bother putting up with her anymore. She's a bigger complainer than me, which I didn't even think was possible. I'm happy that you got the closure you think you needed. Don't be offended by his reaction to it though, even if you think you're being the bigger person he doesn't owe you anything anymore so however he takes it, he takes it.
veggirl Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 so did sending that text randomly give you the closure you weren't getting anywhere else? I agree it was a bad idea, if he is over it then you just made yourself look like you still really care and want him. oh well, whats done is done.... I take it you don't plan on responding IF he responds to your text?
Author livelife Posted December 8, 2012 Author Posted December 8, 2012 I feel better now that I sent that. And HELL NO I don't plan on responding.
Simon Phoenix Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I feel better now that I sent that. And HELL NO I don't plan on responding. I hope so, but wouldn't be surprised if you relapse again in the near future. That's how most "closure attempts" go -- the dumpee sends that one last thing and feels so good when it's sent, then a few days/weeks go by and there's something else they invent in their head that comes up that makes them want to contact again. And so on and so forth.
Sugarkane Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Don't bother, people are cowards and only think of themselves. The popular thing these days seems to leave everything unresolved. Don't waste your time.
LostOne1 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 I sent a msg myself a month back.. and I think Simon Phoenix is probably refering to me. Honestly.. I got me "some" closure. But I personally agree with KJBA2816 that the BEST way is to SHOW it by going NC. In other words ACTIONS talk louder than WORDS. I mean I got what I wanted to say.. but honestly.. it didn't give me closure. I think it probably made my ex feel more sorry for me, pity on me or she has more anger towards me. Last I know she got a new cell phone a week after I sent her that text. Since then I haven't contacted her. And I know she won't contact me either ever again. As she said in her last text to me "It's over and I should stop texting her if I have any self respect". So I haven't contacted her and sure there are days I want too. But I realize what's the point? I played the BU all wrong and chased and chased and it got me no where. In fact it pushed us so far apart we probably will never have the same relationship again. But I see it as a lesson now rather than hating myself and regretting. I just tell myself it's a lesson I had to learn the HARD way and that's how life is... sometimes we learn the easy way and sometimes the hard way. If sending a text helps you.. great! But I personally wouldn't.. I'd leave it as it is and go NC and try to move on with my life.
oracle Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 NO! He doesn't give a sh*t and its just a veiled pathetic attempt on your part at reaching out hoping he reaches back. Have some self respect Thoughts about me texting my ex telling him that i've accepted the fact that he no longer wants to work on things and that he has moved on. I wish you the best and maybe years down the road we can be friends." Thoughts? I want to add that closure for both of us, and mainly myself. I'm not expecting him to reply.
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