lcs Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Hey guys what should i do ?i have 2 big problems, that makes me worried about my relationship wit my girlfriend 1.. my girlfriend doesn t text me as much as she used to text me before. she used to wish me good nights, she doesn t do it anymore.is it because she lost interest in me,or because we texted a lot or because she doesn t know what to say ,or im over analyzing ? 2. my girlfriend and i , before, used to kiss for long minutes.. like when we kiss , we kiss for long minutes.. but now it s only 5 or 10 seconds.. she always have an excuse to stop the kiss.. i asked her why she doesn t kiss me the same way when we first started to go out.. she told me a little kiss means the same to her just as a big one, whaat matters to her is that she is with me. now i know girls use to say things while really they feel the opposite.. i want you guys to help me and tell me what to do because i love this girl very much and i am having my inside hurting everytime she acts these ways...
shadow15 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 She is becoming less interested, my ex girlfriend did that to me once and I talked to her about, told her my feelings, you know I'm worried about us, what's going on in that pretty head of yours. That worked for another year, she become a little more passionate, but the same thing happened again, this time though I didn't see it coming and it was to late to talk to her about it.
Author lcs Posted December 8, 2012 Author Posted December 8, 2012 She is becoming less interested, my ex girlfriend did that to me once and I talked to her about, told her my feelings, you know I'm worried about us, what's going on in that pretty head of yours. That worked for another year, she become a little more passionate, but the same thing happened again, this time though I didn't see it coming and it was to late to talk to her about it. Ahh sorry bro .. but in my case she always wants to go out with me.. like tonight we're goin to the movies.. it s just that she acts differently then before..
dasein Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Her interest level has declined, but she still likes the security of having a BF and things to do. Once she meets a man who interests her, she will be gone in a poof. It may have happened already and this is the beginning of it. Once they stop responding enthusiastically to physical/sexual contact, it's time to get proactive in addressing the underlying issue or moving on. Good luck.
Author lcs Posted December 8, 2012 Author Posted December 8, 2012 Her interest level has declined, but she still likes the security of having a BF and things to do. Once she meets a man who interests her, she will be gone in a poof. It may have happened already and this is the beginning of it. Once they stop responding enthusiastically to physical/sexual contact, it's time to get proactive in addressing the underlying issue or moving on. Good luck. Thanks man fo the advice man.. but i really don t want to loose her man.. what do u think i should do ? last night she told me to not worry about anything because she loves me because iwas starting to ask her tones of questions about why she changes... but i feel like she is honest but a part of me is saying that there is something wrong.
dasein Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 If you aren't happy with her declining physical response, that's something wrong enough, you deserve better. If she clams up on this she is either hiding something or is incapable of communicating. Neither good. You need to demand in a straightforward but not angry way that this has to be addressed other than with platitudes such as "you have nothing to worry about," etc. In your shoes, I would start right in with "is there someone else?" as I find leading with a serious specific question like that will set the tone that you mean business about this.
shadow15 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 If you aren't happy with her declining physical response, that's something wrong enough, you deserve better. If she clams up on this she is either hiding something or is incapable of communicating. Neither good. You need to demand in a straightforward but not angry way that this has to be addressed other than with platitudes such as "you have nothing to worry about," etc. In your shoes, I would start right in with "is there someone else?" as I find leading with a serious specific question like that will set the tone that you mean business about this. I agree with this post, dont be a douche or a jerk. Just tell her we need to talk after you all hang out tonight and in person. Dont get angry, but be serious, dont raise your voice or anything like that, but set the tone that you are worried and you wanna know whats going on lately, be an adult man about it. Shes not addressing you with whats her mind so its your part as her bf to get that communication back and take control. Yea that you have nothing to worry about and i love you crap is bs, its code for theres something wrong but i dont wanna talk to you about it cause i dont wanna hurt your feelings. Communication is the key that will open locked doors.
shadow15 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Ahh sorry bro .. but in my case she always wants to go out with me.. like tonight we're goin to the movies.. it s just that she acts differently then before.. Let me guess she acts fantastic at the beginning of the date, but towards the end shes acting bored and like something is on her mind. Sometimes when you go to grab her hand, she kinda leans away and acts like she doesnt want you to. Im just guessing though.
lovesick1 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Don't start asking her repeatedly what is going on with her it will drive her away. If you want to get her interest then stop acting so interested in her, be busy and find other things to do without her. She will come around I promise, and if she doesn't she was never worth your time to begin with. My girlfriend did the same kinda thing to me and it turned out she had started seeing someone on the side and once she was comfortable enough with him she kicked me to the curb! people can be real as***les
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 There's really no way around the fact that she's losing interest and secondly you are likely smothering, especially now that you feel her taking some space. You can't ride her @ss because you don't want to lose her, acting and being afraid of losing her, acting like a paranoid love fool isn't going to get what you want, it's going to get you the opposite. It's also not your choice alone to keep someone, there's nothing you can do to make them stay even though you see a lot of people do things that they believe will change how the other person feels. Well...you can't, how they feel is how they feel and unless there is some outstanding problem that has nothing to do with the relationship which would be causing her to act this way (now don't go running off making excuses) then there's only one reason things would change and that's because of her feelings, and she could also have interest in someone else but I wouldn't jump to that conclusion. Just because she continues to see you and spend time with you means nothing, that's just going through the motions and spending time with your SO...look at a a lot unhappily married people, they hate each others guts but it doesn't mean they don't go places together It's something you put off to the side and try to enjoy the moment the best you can but you're never really happy. So you should stop pressing this issues for now, and see how she feels after you lay off the gas...I'd suggest taking some time to yourself as well and focusing on other things for a little while. If she doesn't come to meet you half way and starts disconnecting then there's nothing you can do to force someone to stay with you...I know a lot of you love psycho's out there think you can, but in the end you're just going to end up hurting yourself even more but investing so much to save something you couldn't have changed in the first place. Give her some time, give her some space, then talk to her about things and find out what's going on in other aspects of her life and just talk to her in a different way, stop hitting your head against the wall using the same strategy and acting clingy and paranoid, that will definitely push someone away.
Mr Scorpio Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Hey guys what should i do ?i have 2 big problems, that makes me worried about my relationship wit my girlfriend I'm suprised no one already asked you this: how long have you been dating? If you expect a relationship to stay as "hot and heavy" over time as it did in the beginning, you're going to be rather disappointed with relationships in general.
Author lcs Posted December 22, 2012 Author Posted December 22, 2012 There's really no way around the fact that she's losing interest and secondly you are likely smothering, especially now that you feel her taking some space. You can't ride her @ss because you don't want to lose her, acting and being afraid of losing her, acting like a paranoid love fool isn't going to get what you want, it's going to get you the opposite. It's also not your choice alone to keep someone, there's nothing you can do to make them stay even though you see a lot of people do things that they believe will change how the other person feels. Well...you can't, how they feel is how they feel and unless there is some outstanding problem that has nothing to do with the relationship which would be causing her to act this way (now don't go running off making excuses) then there's only one reason things would change and that's because of her feelings, and she could also have interest in someone else but I wouldn't jump to that conclusion. Just because she continues to see you and spend time with you means nothing, that's just going through the motions and spending time with your SO...look at a a lot unhappily married people, they hate each others guts but it doesn't mean they don't go places together It's something you put off to the side and try to enjoy the moment the best you can but you're never really happy. So you should stop pressing this issues for now, and see how she feels after you lay off the gas...I'd suggest taking some time to yourself as well and focusing on other things for a little while. If she doesn't come to meet you half way and starts disconnecting then there's nothing you can do to force someone to stay with you...I know a lot of you love psycho's out there think you can, but in the end you're just going to end up hurting yourself even more but investing so much to save something you couldn't have changed in the first place. Give her some time, give her some space, then talk to her about things and find out what's going on in other aspects of her life and just talk to her in a different way, stop hitting your head against the wall using the same strategy and acting clingy and paranoid, that will definitely push someone away. Hey Guys Thank you for all of you who took the time to advice me on this.. actually i went on vacation for about 2 weeks and i ve never text her, call her and sees her.. one day, a saturday, she called me and ask me where am at ? and said that she missed me .. so when i get back in town she came to see me at my house and it s like every thing is starting the way it was before, she is paying attention to me and always txt me and call me in the morning, i do the same too to balance it .. thk god and thank yall
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