MorganJ Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Hey everyone! I'm new to the dating scene, having been married for 12 years. So I'm looking for a little advice. Here's the story... I take my children to the same restaurant every Wednesday night. We've been going there for almost a year, so we are now regulars there. There's this one waitress there that I've always thought was cute. The first time she was my waitress, we flirted back and forth the entire time, nothing serious, I just figured she was trying to get a good tip. The next time she was my waitress the flirting continued, so at the last minute I wrote my name and number on a piece of paper with a note saying she should call me sometime. That was two months ago, she never called and she hasn't been our waitress since then, but we catch each other stealing glances at each other. Every time our eyes meet, we both smile. So far it's been a fun game we've been playing. Now comes the part that got me excited. Last week she was the hostess, so while she was seating us, we made some small talk, nothing serious just a hi, how's it going, blah blah blah. As she was standing there talking, she kept putting her arm on my shoulder. The entire time we were at the restaurant, I felt like the flirting from her was increased. She kept glancing at me, and when I walked past her on the way to the bathroom, she stopped what she was doing, said hi, smiled, blushed and turned away. As we were getting ready to leave, she came over to the table and asked if I remembered giving her my number. I said yes I remembered. Then she said she always waned to call me, then put a piece of paper on the table and walked away. The paper said, "I wanted to call, but lost your number, so here's my number. Shhh, I don't want to be the gossip of my co-workers. Hope to hear from you soon!" Needless to say, that made my night! I left, said goodbye to her on the way out. The next day, I sent her a simple text saying, "Hey it's my name, from the restaurant last night. Just letting you know I haven't lost your number yet! :)" I figured it was a simple, flirty and fun text, with no pressure. She never responded. So the next day I figured I'd try calling her. I called in the evening and it went right to voicemail without ringing. I left a quick voicemail saying, "Hi, it's my name, just calling to say hi. You must be busy, call me back when you have some time!" She hasn't called back. It's been a few days. So here's my questions: She's obviously interested, she didn't have to give me her number and I have the feeling she's shy. She seemed very nervous when she gave me her number, and walked off right after handing me the paper. Could this be the reason she isn't replying or calling back? Do you guys and gals think I should trying sending another text, or calling again? Finally, I've decided that if I don't hear from her, I'm going to request to sit in her section when we go back to the restaurant. I want to ask her out in person. Since I'm pretty sure she's shy, I was thinking of including a note with the bill saying something like, "I'm going to (some local business) Saturday night, you should come. How does 7:00 sound?" I figure that by giving her a note it will 1-Take some of the pressure off if she is shy, and 2-Continue the main way we've been communicating so far. Besides the time she was our waitress, and some simple small talk, I gave her a note, then she gave me a note. By passing another note, it would be discreet, since I know she doesn't want to be the gossip of her co-workers. Or would it be better to just ask her while she is at our table. I think that way might put her on the spot, and there is a chance her co-workers might hear me asking her.
dasein Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Would advise against notes, texts, and stick with the phone. I get a vibe this woman is otherwise involved and her intererest in other options waxes and wanes with that other involvement. Would give one or max two more calls to VM leaving your name and number. Would try to estimate her work schedule so that you are calling at other times when she doesn't have the phone turned off. If she responds to neither of those VMs, would walk up to her in the restaurant next time you see her and say in a nonconfrontational humorous way, "well I tried, what's the deal?" and listen carefully to her response. In the future, don't give your number out first. Other than VM asking for a return call, never leave the contact ball in a newly met woman's court. Ask for theirs and go from there. Good luck.
Author MorganJ Posted December 8, 2012 Author Posted December 8, 2012 dasein, Yeah I was thinking I'd call her again in a day or two. Other than that, I'm not really making an effort until I see her again in person. Even if I don't hear anything back from her, I'll probably just ask her out when I see her. I thought the note might be a cute way to ask her, but I'll just ask her in person. At least that way I'll get an answer one way or the other! I'm not wasting too much time on this woman since I really don't know anything about her other than she's cute. I figure the worst case scenario is she says no, the flirting stops, and my life doesn't change at all. Best case scenario is she's shy, gone away for the weekend, busy, etc. and says yes when I ask her. 1
lovebug1234 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 DO NOT TEXT. Always call at the beginning, unless you're 17. if you've been married for 12+ years I'm assuming you're at least 30+ DON'T Text. Call her, give her about a week then give her another call. She is obviously interested so I wouldn't worry on the part. Men (and women) tend to **** this part up when they get too aggressive. give her a little space to warm up to you
Author MorganJ Posted December 8, 2012 Author Posted December 8, 2012 lovebug, You got it right, I'm 33. Starting dating my ex-wife when we were 15, so I never really had a chance to get good at meeting women. Since the divorce I've definitely ****ed up a few times! I've done a lot of reading from various "experts" on meeting girls...that's a mistake..... I'm done trying to do everything the "right way". There is no right way to meet women. I'm going to be myself and learn from the mistakes I make!
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