Illyana Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 So my ex and I broke up about a month ago. The first two weeks when I saw him I still felt the excitement and love for him as strong as ever. The next two weeks I felt nothing. When I was with him, I didn't feel the excitement I usually felt. I was really confused about this. I saw him once in the third week and I thought maybe I was just in a bad mood so I tested it again this week and still nothing. I assumed it was the damage of being broken up with. My ex has been telling me he loves me still and misses me but yet doesn't want a relationship. He was mad at me because I told him his friend kept asking me out. He knows I don't like his friend and have no interest in him. Plus, I am not ready to date again and would not date any of his friends. We were together for three and a half years. So, last night I texted him and decided to be really honest. I told him I was growing distant from him and there was a chance he would lose the choice to ever be with me. I told him we were growing in different directions and he didn't know what he wants and I want someone who is going to treat me like a queen, support, encourage, trust, and love me. I want someone who I can enjoy now but when I want kids, is time to get serious and be apart of our children's lives. I told him he didn't know what he wants and that is okay. He just said oh. Then I asked him if he would be willing to put the effort it would take in our relationship to make it work. He said Idk. That's all he would say to me. I told him I still love him and to not doubt it and it was sad that things are over but I won't settle for less than my expectations. I told him if we were meant to be together, it would happen. I still think of a future with him and would love for it to happen but he would need to grow and recognize my wants and needs. We had a communication problem on both ends and he was a total home person and had trouble going out which would hurt me because I would assume he didn't care about what I was interested in or wanted. So, if I know all of this, why do I feel like my heart has been ripped out still and I am depressed thinking how I have lost that choice with him forever? And how I wasn't worth the effort to fight for?
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