deekay Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 My girlfriend is currently a senior at University of Cambridge, currently working hard to get into an Ivy League graduate school for her Doctorate degree (if you don't believe me, her GPA is 3.91). We did talk about this together, but her answers were vague.. whenever I would ask her simply how much communication is sufficient, she replied she doesn't want to ALWAYS keep in contact with each other, i.e. Skyping everyday, calling everyday, etc. She wants her space, and I do too. So right now we're just talking on the phone once or twice a week, and occasional txts about every 2 days. Skype is limited to only a few minutes, as the app is stupidly retarded.. If you or your love is academically-oriented, how much did you guys communicate? And do you think our state is good?
Carenth Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 It really depends on the individuals involved. My partner is at times heavily involved in her studies and I can get buried under a mountain of work. We try too at least send a message or two to each other each day if nothing else. If we are going to be particularly busy we let each other know that communication will be limited for that period of time and we are very understanding of each other like that. However if you are not happy with the amount of communication you have then that is something you really need to consider. Because a LDR needs communication to survive and if either party feels it is not correct then its going to have some serious issues. This is something you really need too discuss with your girlfriend if it is upsetting you. If you can't come to a solution that works for both of you then maybe you need to re evaluate whether this relationship is suitable for you. 1
PepperPotts Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Communication needs to be dealt with by each individual couple. What works for one won't work for all. The best advice I can give you is to develop rules and a plan. If you know you will talk every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, it is way easier to not feel abandoned. But to answer your original question, I have been working on two incredibly demanding graduate programs (this semester I took 23 credit hours between the two programs, along with an internship... I wrote about 150 pages in final papers over the last two weeks, graduated from one program, and slowly went insane). He has a demanding job, so we are limited to 2-5 texts during the day. We talk on the phone every night at bedtime, for anywhere from five minute to two hours, depending on our days, moods, and energy. We hang up when we're out of things to discuss, and do our best to never let it feel forced.I understand not having time, and to be honest, I was really grateful my relationship was long distance these last few weeks(a bizarre feeling to say the least). It meant I could look forward to talking to him at the end of a long day, but I wouldn't be distracted by knowing he was right there for video games/movies/romance. You need to discuss this with her and determine a level of communication you are both comfortable with. You will probably have to accept a bit less than you want, and she will need to compromise for more. But I swear, whether you talk once a week or every day, a plan makes it easier to deal with. Spontaneity has to mostly go out the window for the sake of your sanity in an LDR. You can still be spontaneous to an extent, but you both need to have an understanding of when and how you'll communicate so neither feels forgotten. Routines make everything better!
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