BrittanyLD Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 (edited) 2 days ago my Husband got a random txt from a girl claiming she typed in the wrong number. Later that day I had asked for his phn because i accidently deletes my sister's # from mine. Well, while I had his phone a msg came through and this is the actual msg: Lol, okay! If I don't respond as soon as you text I haven't logged on yet. Just wait for me. Talk to you then. Can't wait to see you! **MeGaN** I was in shock! I threw his phn at him and he of course he played the denial card. So, I said I'm about to find out what this means! I sent her a txt from my phn and She assured that they had just started talking due to her 1 digit mistake but they had been planning on sending each other NUDE photos. She fwrded me every txt him and her had sent each other and I wanted to collapse! he tried sending her a face photo. Keep in mind I AM HOME! He kept saying he had a stomache virus and each time he went to the bathroom he was txtin her. He told her that since they are two states away he sees no " major harm" in having some fun and for her to txt Fri night because I was "LOITERING OVER HIM" he told her how long we had been married as well. I had no idea he was even txtin. Let alone doing this with another woman. We have been together for 5 1/2 yrs and married 7 months. I am hurt and I feel like I am worthless to him. I poured out so much hurt lastnight to him and all he said was Sorry. I asked why he said he don't know, he kept sayin he didn't need a recap when I would mention it. He said he felt ashamed and couldn't find the right worda to say. I told him physical presence or not doing that with any person is considered cheating to me!! Today, he came up wrapped his arms around me.. ive missed that hug.. and whispered I'm so sorry, I will never do anything like that ever again, ur the only one I want and the only one I need! I am so lost and heartbroken.. I want to scream I want to be mad but I can't, my love for him over powers them. Any advice on anything please? Sry for being long, I needed to vent! Edited December 8, 2012 by BrittanyLD her msg saying cant wait to see you was meaning they would exchange nude photos then..
Allumere Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Counseling. NOW! You have a right to feel hurt. He has the right to not try an explain all the whys but to acknowledge your feeling and that he was the cause. Broken trust is a bitch to restore but certainly doable...but I am telling you, If you simply try to do this without processing it fully, its like sweeping the mouse under the rug. Sure you don't see it but its gonna show back up in a few days when it starts to stink. Hey, I don't know your husband but men do stupid things (sorry guys). It could have been nothing more than an ego stroke, a game. It felt good so he was thinking about the implications...until the spotlight was turned on. Doubts looming, ask for his phone records. No real doubt, just hurt...get a professional to help y'all navigate the productively.
movingon12 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 He went from 'accidental text' to exchanging nude photos in 2 days???? Definitely try counselling - there is something missing from your relationship that he isn't getting from you (I'm not justifying his actions in any way, but clearly something's wrong and if you 2 are going to get over this, you need to find out what it is before you can fix it). My ex-husband started texting, then dating some random who contacted him online. We broke up eventually - not because of the cheating, but because he wouldn't make an effort to repair the damage. Ultimately, if your marriage is going to get through this, both of you need to be satisfied that whatever changes that need to be made, have been made He needs to be walking on coals right now to prove to you that this was a one off, never to be repeated mistake. Which means he needs to help you understand why he did it. So if you want to discuss it. At length. Many many times. Until you're satisfied you've understood what prompted it. That's your right. If it makes him uncomfortable, then tough. NUDE texts?? That's not just a mild flirtation with an unknown woman. And to go that far, that fast suggests to me that this is not the first time.
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