Timz12 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I've been broken up with my ex (the dumper) for a little over 2 months now, just to give you a little history she moved into the city with me and shortly after dumped me because she needed to "explore" herself, oddly enough she occasionally has sleepovers with her old ex ex bf on weekends. During a little dispute before the breakup happened I told her that if we ever broke up that I'd erase her from my life and I would probably never give her another try (stupid I know), she responded "oh and you can never give anyone a second chance" and " I would always want to be a part of your life." When she did end it. I accepted it, I didnt beg her, harrass her, call her 50 times a day, I simply wished her my best and respectfully bowed out, I vanished and started NC. This kinda motivated me to improve myself. I began working out/lifting weights, (I lost 30lbs), I stopped using tobacco which she hated, updated my wardrobe, starting doing more fun activities, and gained a lot of new friends along the way. I get compliments on the new me all the time and it feels great, I truely did become a much more desirable person. 3 weeks after the breakup she runs into me at the bar and acts like we never broke up and comes home and sleeps with me. It went really well actually, I could tell she had missed me and was all up in my personal business, making sure I wasnt seeing someone, and making up excuses for this and that, which I never really fed into. I went NC again, 2 weeks later she contacts me wanting to go to a party, but there was to many conflicts going on to make it happen. At this point I would say things were ok there was no real major issues between us but I kept up the NC. 3 weeks later I begin seeing her out at the bars I run into her and her gfs and she gives a cheesy hey and keeps walking I do the same, I thought that was weird... I've seen her multiple more times out at the bars, She ignores me, but not only that, she seems MAD at me like I'm the villain that broke up with HER! All the while though, all she does is STARE at me, the entire time... Its so uncomfortable, and it gets really bad if she sees me talk to another girl or dance with one. A million thoughts run through my head. This is getting ridiculous anymore. I've never tried talking to or harrasing her, I've never done her no wrong or gave her any reason to act like this. Is she jealous that I've made big improvements? Mad that I havent tried chasing after her like a lost puppy? Does she regret it? Guilt?What gives?!? Last week I recieved some of her mail in my mailbox so I text her stating that she can come get it if she wants if not I'll give it to her folks, she agreed to come get it and seemed real happy about it but cancelled at the last minute. Last night I see her at this country bar I always go to...she never liked this place... and would never go there. Well in short here comes the more akward staring and silence!! She even goes as far as to dance with random guys on the dance floor right in front of me...she hates country music and also doesnt even know how to dance to it! Now I'm starting to take things a little personal. Now I dont like having enemies or having people think negatively of me, and she is really the last person I would have expected this from. She is immature and very very stubborn, and beings I've never been real afraid of confrontation I decided to be the bigger person and try to clear the air. So I went up and said hello and asked her if she was going to get her mail or if I should give it from her folks. She paused and then said maybe you should just give it to my folks. I then stated that I noticed how weird things have been between us and I told her that I had no hard feelings, and I dont think of her as my enemy, she wouldnt look at me when I said this and only nodded her head, she paused and then said yeah I'm sorry I dont think of you like that either. We made small talk for probably 15 mins or so, at times she would really open herself up, and then kinda turn into a full of herself B!tch. At times I really didnt know who I was talking too. I gathered from our convo though that her newfound life/freedom really wasnt as great as she thought it'd be. Some of the things she said goes as follows: in a sacastic tone " I saw you go up and talk to that blonde in the halter top and seen you were dancing with that one brunette chick... dont worry i wasnt spying on you.":confused: "You look good you lost a lot of weight, but thats not a compliment, you looked cutter when you were bigger." "So are you enjoying being single?" Yeah its fine got a lot new ppl and activities in my life to keep me busy.. how about you? " ahhhh idk its different I dont know how I really feel about it." I ended the convo with a well it was nice to see you and I walked away, meanwhile there was 2 guys on the sidelines waiting to hit on her as soon as I left. I didnt do this so I could "win" her back or any of that nonsense, I just wanted to cut some tension. No clue how it will be the next time I see her out. I know some may say you should have never talked to her but I'm glad I did, I think it inclines me to move on farther, I'm more at peace with it and can at least say I tried to clear the air. I do still love her and am not against getting back with her if/when she ever grows up, but I'm certainly not waiting around for it, nor am I expecting it to ever happen. So there are actions that scream to me I'm not over you and I still care and yet there actions that tell me different. Anyone wanna share there thoughts?
KJBA2816 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 You seem like a very decent guy. You come across as if you have acted respectfully towards her and I think that drives her crazy. You have done so well for yourself and changed for the better and with that change I would cut her out your life. It must drive her crazy to see how well reserved and good you are doing so if you do see her out, a polite, hello would do then walk on. Keep going the way you are because you will find someone who is better and won't play mind games, good luck
Phoe Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I agree! She is playing silly immature games, is jealous, is trying to make YOU jealous, and is looking to see if you'll take the bait, which you aren't. Overall you've done well with acting respectful, keeping things cordial, and otherwise not paying one bit of attention to her antics. You can have better than her
Author Timz12 Posted December 8, 2012 Author Posted December 8, 2012 Thanks guys I appreciate it. I know I have to let it be, but still my curiosity just kills me.
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