Carenth Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 (edited) Sigh can we not turn this into a mud slinging match? look at the name of your thread and tell me you are not having a whinge? I was more replying too the others in this thread than yourself but.. if you want to make it personal :\ I just feel the term "friend zone" is really freaking stupid and people who use it use it as a crutch rather than accepting reality. btw I agree with your approach you don't have too be her friend. Edited December 8, 2012 by Carenth
Author Necromancer Posted December 8, 2012 Author Posted December 8, 2012 Sigh can we not turn this into a mud slinging match? look at the name of your thread and tell me you are not having a whinge? I was more replying too the others in this thread than yourself but.. if you want to make it personal :\ btw I agree with your approach you don't have too be her friend. I said i don't think you can make a girl attracted to you if she thinks of you only as a friend, i moved on like i told you guys. People are always claiming they escaped the fz and that's the point of the thread i don't think it's possible. Since she only sees you as a friend.
Carenth Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 As I said I wasn't really replying to you sorry if you thought otherwise and sorry if I offended you. In your case I agree with you if she isn't interested then she isn't interested and the best thing you can do is move on. That may change in the future but I wouldn't hold out on it. Quite simple really apply this to any "friend zone" situation and everyone would be a lot happier.
todreaminblue Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 This is the part i just don't understand, if you are honest with a girl with how you feel about her and she doesn't feel that way about you then i agree you shouldn't be in her friend zone.....i always thought that guys develop feelings once they get to know a girl...how can you know someone without knowing them as a friend first.... unless of course you go straight into dating and go that way......that is why i say i date from a friend zone.......i have had blind dates......cold approaches.......most of them ......not fun....and rather aggressive......on the male side ....expectations.....because they buy me a drink or dinner....and its a nah.......ill go dutch thanks... i had a fifteen year relationship from the "friend zone....he was a friend for two plus years because i was with someone else....that relationship was also from the friend zone and lasted three.......they did not overlap i finished one relationship before beginning another and the fifteen year one started as a rebound.... it takes all types discounting anything is a mistake......you should be open to liking someone if you like them.....and if you are nice you should as another poster said want to be their friend...this avoid friendship at all costs confuses me.....deb 1
Carenth Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 @todreaminblue: I can agree with you that a relationship can come from legitimate friendship I was friends with my girlfriend before we became a couple. However the situation was very different from the ones who complain about being "friend zoned". I was actually her friend and I expected nothing more, neither did she it just happened over time. People who get "friend zoned" have feelings for the other party off the bat and the "friendship" is actually painful for them because they want more but can't have it. In that case it's not really a smart idea to agree to be friends? That is just torturing yourself and makes you bitter inside. Not to mention that is not actually friendship at all.
todreaminblue Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 @todreaminblue: I can agree with you that a relationship can come from legitimate friendship I was friends with my girlfriend before we became a couple. However the situation was very different from the ones who complain about being "friend zoned". I was actually her friend and I expected nothing more, neither did she it just happened over time. People who get "friend zoned" have feelings for the other party off the bat and the "friendship" is actually painful for them because they want more but can't have it. In that case it's not really a smart idea to agree to be friends? That is just torturing yourself and makes you bitter inside. Not to mention that is not actually friendship at all. I see now makes me sad because it makes sense.....I have sort of known i can teb this guys friend who i am interested in because i was open and honest i said to him i have feelings for you as more than a friend....i have only done this twice in my life...and once as a teen without alcohol that is........he didnt feel the same way and i have tried to be his friend....he doesnt even seem interested in that it makes sense now.....makes em cringe a bit when people say its creepy....maybe he felt uncomfortable around me..i never flirted though i really hope i didnt make him uncomfortable now im paranoid...groan ....stopping chain of thought...i would have settled for friendship because i genuinely like him.....i do realize that for me it would be hard for me to be his friend I am attracted to him ...i didnt think i made it hard for him...i could never hate him and i hope he is happy...i havent had this happen liek this before so its all new to me.....a male hasnt refused my friendship before...i am a pretty good friend to have....maybe...slinks off.....deb
Author Necromancer Posted December 8, 2012 Author Posted December 8, 2012 @todreaminblue: I can agree with you that a relationship can come from legitimate friendship I was friends with my girlfriend before we became a couple. However the situation was very different from the ones who complain about being "friend zoned". I was actually her friend and I expected nothing more, neither did she it just happened over time. People who get "friend zoned" have feelings for the other party off the bat and the "friendship" is actually painful for them because they want more but can't have it. In that case it's not really a smart idea to agree to be friends? That is just torturing yourself and makes you bitter inside. Not to mention that is not actually friendship at all. I didn't have feelings for neither of them at the start (one approached me), they grew after I knew them for few months. I will not disagree that i was desperate at the time.
phineas Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 A prison created by those who want to demonize a persons right too say no. Who can't accept that not everyone will like them back. So yeah it's quite bull**** for the insecure and immature. The "walk of shame" has nothing to do with friendzone bull****. Except, women that friendzone guys don't stop at rejecting them romantically. They feed them breadcrumbs to keep them around paying attention, giving them false hope & essentially turning them into their gay shopping buddy. Of course the guy willing puts himself there but once he's there women will sink their claws into him & don't want to let go. The friendzone is optional - and in all honesty sometimes she might still want to f*ck you eventually even if you end up there. Seen it happen. It depends on the two people involved - how you handle it and how she actually responds. This! I couldn't get friendzoned if I tried & I have with former women who friendzoned me. I was fat back then, I got stuck in the zone & became their gay shopping buddy. I broke out, dropped a ton of weight, lifted ect. The whole time they still wanted to be friends with me. Until they saw the new me. Then it switched to "I have a BF" and they no longer want to be just friends. So I just leave it at that & tell them they got my number if they ever want to chat. Usually like 6mo. to a yr later their calling me up to "chat" to test the waters, probe to see if i'm single ect & it makes me laugh because It tells me their either looking to monkey branch or are actually single. Then, i'm in control & their giving me reasons to want to see them which means we are hooking up very quickly cause it isn't like we are strangers.
Carenth Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 (edited) Except, women that friendzone guys don't stop at rejecting them romantically. They feed them breadcrumbs to keep them around paying attention, giving them false hope & essentially turning them into their gay shopping buddy. Of course the guy willing puts himself there but once he's there women will sink their claws into him & don't want to let go. Except you know the guy (notice how it's always guys who complain about the "friend zone"?) chooses to put up with this one sided relationship and actively makes that choice. They always have the choice of removing them selves from that situation if they don't then hey no ones fault but their own for being a spineless jelly fish. If one lets someone treat them like a slave then they have some other deeper rooted issues to suggest they have no choice in this situation is crazy. What is she going to do put a gun too your head if you refuse to be her friend? I still don't see how you can get put in the friend zone you have to actually choose to be there.... which you can't really blame others for... seriously the "friend zone" is just trying to shift blame for bad choices. It's really about being honest with yourself and others. Edited December 8, 2012 by Carenth 1
phineas Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Except you know the guy chooses to put up with this one sided relationship and actively makes that choice. They always have the choice of removing them selves from that situation if they don't then hey no ones fault but their own for being a spineless jelly fish. I still don't see how you can get put in the friend zone you have to actually choose to be there.... which you can't really blame others for... seriously the "friend zone" is just trying to shift blame for bad choices. I think we are saying the same thing just differently. When I say i've been "friendzoned" it means she said "Let's just be friends". Then I hit the eject button. That was when I was just overweight. when I was fat I lived in the friendzone. LOL! but that was only for about a yr that I was that fat. In the last 2yrs since i've been in shape i've never had a woman say "let's just be friends" they either went out with me or rejected me. Hell I can't even get women who friendzoned me when I was fat to friendzone me now. LOL!
Derp Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 The friendzone only exists if you have unwarranted self importance.
Carenth Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Hrmm fair enough, I've never really had this happen to me personally I only get out right rejected or they end up going out with me. I've had girls ask too be friends when I rejected them... which is kind of odd but yeah. I've had plenty of friends who bitch and moan about the "friend zone" every time they had put themselves there willingly, the whole concept is just absurd too me as it makes no logical sense.
PrinceAli94 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Personally I believe you have to have some kind of friendship with someone to eventually evolve into a relationship. Being friends enables you to know the person better than just "Hey I like you, you like me, we're in the same class, so let's go on a date!" That works for some people (particularly good looking people) but it's harder for others. So unless you've got some serious game, you both will probably consider each other friends at one point or another. The problem some guys have is we go to far with the friend thing, we smother the girl with attention, advice, compliments, etc. Yeah our intentions are good, you want to make the girl feel special, but in reality unless she's into that kinda attention, your doing yourself a diservice. She'll start to see you as one of her girlfriends. You've been emasculated in her eyes now. The terms "best guy friend" or "buddy" come to mind, god forbid "He's like my brother" It's not bad if you're looking for a strong friendship, hell, it's great if that's the case. But relationship? Not so much. So it is possible to leave the friendzone, everybody has a window of opportunity as long as the other person is interested. If you don't grasp it and make the right moves, you'll be trapped in the friendzone. The longer you stay there, the less likely you'll get out.
jcrew11 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I don't talk to her, because I don't want to be her only friend. Nothing immature about it. Like I did moved ON. Now people are hating on me for it WTF?. If i keep her as a friend: You are wimp for being in the FZ If i move on: you are not nice and immature. Is anything i do right to you guys?. If you are angry with her, then it shows you have low-self esteem and was just being nice to her because you wanted to date her. Being angry and mean is not "attractive to women" and it displays low value. You are no longer the fun, cool guy that makes everyone around them happy. You have to ask yourself "Why would a girl want to date me, and what makes me attractive to women?"
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