Blastoplast Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I thought I was doing great for a while. I've been back in school, getting straight As & Bs, dating this new girl and keeping my mind off my ex as much as possible -- but she's always been there. Last weekend we hooked up though and now I feel awful. I feel like I'm throwing everything away that I had with my new girl, and now it's messing with my head. I asked my EX why we slept together, because I clearly had the vibe that she really wanted to make this work. But no, more ambiguity as to her future. She gives me the whole "I can see myself with you and having a family, but I still need to know I can take care of myself for a while." (We broke up because of her financial difficulties putting a divide in our relationship, as well as some of her personal goals). Well now it's almost like she's settling. Instead of moving out of state, she's moving 1 hour away. Instead of living on her own, she's moving in with an ex-roomate from college. It just hurts me so much that while I'm achieving my personal goals I set after our break-up, she doesn't appear to be doing what she wanted to do. Now she's saying she's having second thoughts about her move. Is she having regrets about our break-up and her whole situation? To me it seems like she just doesn't know what she wants, and rather than putting me through a stressful wringer, she just broke up with me because it would be easier on both of us, which I can understand to an extent. Is the only way of reconciliation to go no contact? I talked to her a little before and told her about the mixed signals, and how it's so hard for me to be friends with somebody I love more than anybody else -- I can only imagine how jealous I'm going to be when she's in an actual relationship, it already pisses me off that she's casually dating. I just needed to vent and possibly looking for any feedback. Thanks for listening again Loveshack!
NavyAirTraffic Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 She's using you, using you as a backup plan, as a booty call, keeping you attached. YOU are allowing her!! Men with boundaries and self value don't allow people to treat them this way. She says "I love you, but I don't love you enough to be with you, I want to see other people, I'll text/call you when I'm in a lull, all that ok?" you respond "yes"!! Wtf!! Someone here said "you have to train people on how to treat you", and your teaching her that you have no problem being her doormat, just waiting for her to want to be with you again. I fully understand you not recognizing this or doing something about it. When the person you love wants to give you affection it's hard to say no (I did the same thing), but is what you're feeling now worth it? There is nothing wrong with giving her an ultimatum "I can no longer wait for you, you know how I feel about you but you only want to see/talk to me when it's convenient for you. No more. I'm moving on fully. I can't see or talk to you again." She'll either leave you alone or realize you're serious and reevaluate what she really wants. Either way, you can't go through life jumping at her feet when she calls for you. Good luck good sir!!
frederickkk Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 nice to see navyairtraffic talking sense and not ripping me apart on another thread.
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