ThaWholigan Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 So there was a third girl I was dating intermittently, a couple of Saturday dates for the last fortnight or so. Tall, thick, model-like face, works in biomedical science, very smart, witty and extraordinarily beautiful with a great body without being too in-your-face. Into the same things I'm into. Naturally you think "I'm in there :cool:". Two good dates, had a lot of fun, both initially attracted. I meet with her for a quick drink last night. She is usually quite busy so I was surprised she was free. We meet and greet on a cold evening, have a drink and a laugh. And then we kissed. It was probably the best kiss I've had. And then - inexplicably - she stops. And then basically looks me in my eyes with the sexiest look on her face and says "I'm not sure if this would work - I think we should take it slow and be friends for now" I wasn't angry or frustrated - but I was very surprised . I didn't see that one coming. I laughed a little, smiled and said cool, she said she still wants to meet up on Saturday to watch the football with me, I said yes because normally nobody (apart from one good friend of mine) wants to watch the football with me so nice to have someone to watch it with. But I was left a little confused, but didn't ask her to elaborate. We parted ways, I went studio, got on with my evening and went home late. I was more shocked because I didn't see that coming, I thought I was gonna get her. Nonetheless, I'm still going to date other girls, but I think I actually want to be friends with this one. I haven't dated her enough to be attached to her and if I'm dating other girls I probably won't. But I'm still confused about the kiss, she was more into it than I was! (f*cking slipped me the tongue ). Anyway, I'm more thinking out loud here rather than looking solutions, but I welcome any advice as always. 1
KungFuJoe Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 So there was a third girl I was dating intermittently, a couple of Saturday dates for the last fortnight or so. Tall, thick, model-like face, works in biomedical science, very smart, witty and extraordinarily beautiful with a great body without being too in-your-face. Into the same things I'm into. Naturally you think "I'm in there :cool:". Two good dates, had a lot of fun, both initially attracted. I meet with her for a quick drink last night. She is usually quite busy so I was surprised she was free. We meet and greet on a cold evening, have a drink and a laugh. And then we kissed. It was probably the best kiss I've had. And then - inexplicably - she stops. And then basically looks me in my eyes with the sexiest look on her face and says "I'm not sure if this would work - I think we should take it slow and be friends for now" I wasn't angry or frustrated - but I was very surprised . I didn't see that one coming. I laughed a little, smiled and said cool, she said she still wants to meet up on Saturday to watch the football with me, I said yes because normally nobody (apart from one good friend of mine) wants to watch the football with me so nice to have someone to watch it with. But I was left a little confused, but didn't ask her to elaborate. We parted ways, I went studio, got on with my evening and went home late. I was more shocked because I didn't see that coming, I thought I was gonna get her. Nonetheless, I'm still going to date other girls, but I think I actually want to be friends with this one. I haven't dated her enough to be attached to her and if I'm dating other girls I probably won't. But I'm still confused about the kiss, she was more into it than I was! (f*cking slipped me the tongue ). Anyway, I'm more thinking out loud here rather than looking solutions, but I welcome any advice as always. No advice to give other than what you probably already know. **** happens and sometimes for no obvious reason. I'm sure SHE has her reasons and if you feel so inclined you could press for an answer, but unless you feel something VERY special with her, I would just let it slide, be friends with her (as long as it's not awkward) and just go about your business as usual. 1
amaysngrace Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 She likes you enough to want to be your friend. That's a compliment in the highest order. Plus she likes kissing you too so there's chemistry. She likes you A LOT!! 4
Author ThaWholigan Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 No advice to give other than what you probably already know. **** happens and sometimes for no obvious reason. I'm sure SHE has her reasons and if you feel so inclined you could press for an answer, but unless you feel something VERY special with her, I would just let it slide, be friends with her (as long as it's not awkward) and just go about your business as usual. It would only be pure curiosity on my part to know what her reasons are, so you're right, I don't really feel inclined to press for an answer. She will probably divulge that inadvertently in her own time. I'm generally not an awkward guy (well I kinda am, being autistic and all, but not awkward like "you rejected me so I'm being awkward", more like offbeat ). She's cool to hang around with, yes, she's very smart and I can talk to her about stuff. It feels good to be able to have someone to bounce ideas off of, and she is that person. In that sense, I'm already letting it slide. I'm not sexually desperate, so it's not that either. It's really the kiss that has thrown me out of whack a little. Like, I've kissed a few girls already this year, but nothing like that . The way we were touching and her face and everything - it was almost as good as sex. So, in a sense, my curiosity is really being piqued by the kiss. 1
mesmerized Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Normally I would say she just isn't attracted to you. But the fact that she still wants to hang out and watch football with you tells me you might still have a chance. In any case, I would respect her wishes for now. 1
Author ThaWholigan Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 Normally I would say she just isn't attracted to you. But the fact that she still wants to hang out and watch football with you tells me you might still have a chance. In any case, I would respect her wishes for now. I intend on doing so. I'm not thinking about chances, I think that would be the wrong thing to think about, I just want to enjoy her company, she's a good laugh and I like being around her, even if I don't date her, she would be a good friend. 1
Author ThaWholigan Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 She likes you enough to want to be your friend. That's a compliment in the highest order. Plus she likes kissing you too so there's chemistry. She likes you A LOT!! It's highly possible, but I don't want to jump to any conclusions yet.
amaysngrace Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 It's highly possible, but I don't want to jump to any conclusions yet. Yes, don't. She wants to take it slowly. Because she knows she can like you much much more and doesn't want to mess it up.
phineas Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I'm thinking she likes you, is attracted to you but there is some incompatibility or preference in you that is stopping her from seeing relationship potential or you have been back-burnered. I've never gotten tongue in the friendzone. Hell I've barely been kissed in the friendzone. So if you are cool with hanging with her & she doesn't get annoying or try to put you in some "almost dating" situation have fun. 2
Pyro Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Happens to the best of us. The fact that she is still making plans to see you shows IMO that she wants to go VERY slow with you. Just go about your business and if its meant to be......
veggirl Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I bet if she gets drunk when you watch football she will kiss you again and you'll possibly get laid. 2
Author ThaWholigan Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 I'm thinking she likes you, is attracted to you but there is some incompatibility or preference in you that is stopping her from seeing relationship potential or you have been back-burnered. I've never gotten tongue in the friendzone. Hell I've barely been kissed in the friendzone. So if you are cool with hanging with her & she doesn't get annoying or try to put you in some "almost dating" situation have fun. The only preference she may be iffy about is that she's a bit more independent than I am in that she has a pretty sweet career so far and her own flat, I've just started self-employment and still live with mum . She's a year younger, but still.
Author ThaWholigan Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 Happens to the best of us. The fact that she is still making plans to see you shows IMO that she wants to go VERY slow with you. Just go about your business and if its meant to be...... Will do I bet if she gets drunk when you watch football she will kiss you again and you'll possibly get laid. We'll see, right now I'm more worried about the game itself, Arsenal are playing terribly at the moment .
Shaun-Dro Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 So there was a third girl I was dating intermittently, a couple of Saturday dates for the last fortnight or so. Tall, thick, model-like face, works in biomedical science, very smart, witty and extraordinarily beautiful with a great body without being too in-your-face. Into the same things I'm into. Naturally you think "I'm in there :cool:". Two good dates, had a lot of fun, both initially attracted. I meet with her for a quick drink last night. She is usually quite busy so I was surprised she was free. We meet and greet on a cold evening, have a drink and a laugh. And then we kissed. It was probably the best kiss I've had. And then - inexplicably - she stops. And then basically looks me in my eyes with the sexiest look on her face and says "I'm not sure if this would work - I think we should take it slow and be friends for now" I wasn't angry or frustrated - but I was very surprised . I didn't see that one coming. I laughed a little, smiled and said cool, she said she still wants to meet up on Saturday to watch the football with me, I said yes because normally nobody (apart from one good friend of mine) wants to watch the football with me so nice to have someone to watch it with. But I was left a little confused, but didn't ask her to elaborate. We parted ways, I went studio, got on with my evening and went home late. I was more shocked because I didn't see that coming, I thought I was gonna get her. Nonetheless, I'm still going to date other girls, but I think I actually want to be friends with this one. I haven't dated her enough to be attached to her and if I'm dating other girls I probably won't. But I'm still confused about the kiss, she was more into it than I was! (f*cking slipped me the tongue ). Anyway, I'm more thinking out loud here rather than looking solutions, but I welcome any advice as always. OP, she's doing what every single, weak female does: try to test men. I'm being blunt about this, no other way to put it. Now, it's up to you if you'll deal with it or not. I know I wouldn't.
SmileFace Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I think her peference is playing in to part here.
Author ThaWholigan Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 I think her peference is playing in to part here. I thought it would after the 1st date to be honest. But she continued to see me and speak to me. It's certainly different from the 1st two girls, who pretty much got sexual extremely quickly. There was the other girl I went on a date with once, but that wasn't going to go anywhere because she had a child and other commitments, but she indicated a willingness to get sexual with me too. This girl is and has been very reserved (she's a Virgo too), but has told me more than once that she's attracted to me, and it's like she lost control for a hot minute and just kissed me perhaps where she would have preferred to keep things on an even keel. I'm happy with whatever, I like her company. She knows I'm dating others too and she also has her options. We'll see how it goes, she may just be a good friend in the end.
Nightsky Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I just watched a movie called "Love and Other drugs" or something like that. The main female lead kept pushing the other guy away telling him she didn't want to take things past casual hookups and that she didn't want things to get serious. Well her lips said one thing but their chemistry said another. If she was looking at you all sexy and you like her and she likes you I say keep trying to kiss and date her and see where it goes. She might want you to chase her a little. This isn't really the friendzone because you're sane enough to walk away if you start getting too annoyed. 1
SmileFace Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I thought it would after the 1st date to be honest. But she continued to see me and speak to me. It's certainly different from the 1st two girls, who pretty much got sexual extremely quickly. There was the other girl I went on a date with once, but that wasn't going to go anywhere because she had a child and other commitments, but she indicated a willingness to get sexual with me too. This girl is and has been very reserved (she's a Virgo too), but has told me more than once that she's attracted to me, and it's like she lost control for a hot minute and just kissed me perhaps where she would have preferred to keep things on an even keel. I'm happy with whatever, I like her company. She knows I'm dating others too and she also has her options. We'll see how it goes, she may just be a good friend in the end. I am not saying she won't date you but she will have to allow time to allow herself to put her preference to the side. She seems very interested when I take the virgo part into play.
Author ThaWholigan Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 I am not saying she won't date you but she will have to allow time to allow herself to put her preference to the side. She seems very interested when I take the virgo part into play. Yeah, I know what you're saying . Tomorrow should be interesting (let's hope Arsenal actually win tomorrow too ). Either way, I'm not stupid enough to get my hopes up too much . Like I said - even keel. 1
phineas Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 The only preference she may be iffy about is that she's a bit more independent than I am in that she has a pretty sweet career so far and her own flat, I've just started self-employment and still live with mum . She's a year younger, but still. idk, i'll just be friends with women I find attractive but don't want a relationship with because say she's got two kids with two different fathers & neither have jobs. Or geography, living situations ect. Little things that would make a long term relationship just annoying. LOL! I'd still sleep with them but since they never wanted FWB i kept it in my pants & never hit on them. Eventually one of use meets someone that we are compatible with & then it all goes to hell once jealousy starts entering the picture and damn women get jealous. LOL!
dasein Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Only advice I'd give is to spend any time you would have spent with this woman cultivating other options. This will keep your head clear, keep your dating process efficient and focused towards your goals, and may even cause her to have second thoughts. IMO and IME, the only response to the "LJBF" is to move on entirely. If she really wants friendship, and it's not just noise, she knows how to find you. Ball in her court on the friends issue.
phineas Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I have gotten out of the friendzone before. Just value other women and spend more time with them in front of her, friendzoned no more, now she wanted me. Yep, been there, done this. OP, she's doing what every single, weak female does: try to test men. I'm being blunt about this, no other way to put it. Now, it's up to you if you'll deal with it or not. I know I wouldn't. True, because she may get possessive or the above may happen. A yr ago I would of said "see-ya" in this type of situation. Now, i'm actually fine with it just because my friends are all married with kids & can't go out with their divorced friend much. Which I understand because I was married once.
Author ThaWholigan Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 Only advice I'd give is to spend any time you would have spent with this woman cultivating other options. This will keep your head clear, keep your dating process efficient and focused towards your goals, and may even cause her to have second thoughts. IMO and IME, the only response to the "LJBF" is to move on entirely. If she really wants friendship, and it's not just noise, she knows how to find you. Ball in her court on the friends issue. I can't say I've spent much time with her. I cold approached her at Waterstones, had 2 dates and 2 informal, impromptu meets. All have been not much of a waste IMO, I still got to do what I normally do on a Saturday (which is chill and watch football, except I'm watching it with a girl this time), and had a couple of impromptu meets (lunch and the most recent drink). I'm still dating, and if times get hard I still have two infrequent FWBs I can call at pretty much any time I want. On the friends issue, she's still up for Saturdays, we're actually seeing if we can pool enough together to get a ticket to go to the Emirates and watch the game there.
CptObvious Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 She's hittin the brakes, and you gotta cut em real quick. Nothing stops the train from gettin all up in there.
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