lostinlovex2 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Happy Friday (kind of). So I just put my foot down and walked away from my MM. I was sick of hearing all the "I'm filing for divorce this week" and him dragging his feet. I told him that he could call when the divorce was finalized. Now I'm struggling with how to maintain NC when he's SO persistent and won't leave me alone. He says that he doesn't know how to not talk to me and tell me everything; that I'm his best friend. Any advice on how to stand firm??? 1
Tenacity Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 This was the same situation I was in. First, accept that he's going to keep contacting you (WHY do these MM want to stay married and still keep in contact with another woman? Who would want to be married to that?) I guess just keep remembering that last line... really, who would want to be married to that? You are likely dodging a huge bullet, although it doesn't feel like it now. You just have to keep busy, fill your time other ways, and accept that he's going to keep contacting you if he can. Best to change your email address and phone number and make it impossible for him to contact you and for you to cave. 1
missy268 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 He will keep contacting you...it's been over with my guy for nearly a year now, and he does, we work together twice a fortnight which makes it worse i guess - but i said no contact outside of work, but sometimes he can't help himself, i dont reply You could change your number, this is something i am unable to do, as my supplier will only do it unless i am being harrassed, which i'm not, he just texts me time to time if not you will just have to stay strong and remember he is not worth it, i know its really hard - but we have to do whats right for us stay strong x x 1
veryhappy Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 If his W doesn't know and you are that determined to follow through with telling her if he keeps contact, threaten with that. The only thing that put an end to exMM contacting me to tell me how his W is now having sex with him is me threatening to take "the appropriate steps" to keep him out of my life. Coward, weak people like these avoidant men respond to threats. For yourself I can tell you what gets me angry, and that keeps me from being nostalgic and wanting to run back to him. Imagine him making love to his wife, looking into her eyes like he used to look into yours. If that doesn't get your blood boiling and you'll feel like killing him instead of wanting him, I don't know what will. Anger is your friend and will keep you away.
Adamgem Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Happy Friday (kind of). So I just put my foot down and walked away from my MM. I was sick of hearing all the "I'm filing for divorce this week" and him dragging his feet. I told him that he could call when the divorce was finalized. Now I'm struggling with how to maintain NC when he's SO persistent and won't leave me alone. He says that he doesn't know how to not talk to me and tell me everything; that I'm his best friend. Any advice on how to stand firm??? I know exactly how you feel. I am just ignoring the texts but I am along way off complete NC. I still think about him and am not yet fully focused on the other good things in my life. I am slowly working on my future without him.. I am writing down all the nice and positive things I can do without him. How wonderful it will all be especially when I am really over him. I can't wait for that feeling. I was crazy about other men in the past - now they run after me and I wonder what I was so crazy about! I know that I will feel the same about this one too but it will take time.
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