4givrnt4gtr Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 So I am in a wonderful relationship with a man that basically is everything I want. He is just amazing, loving, sexy, smart..everything. Unfortunately, all that does not stop me from being human and being attracted to good looking men. So, I am in a bad sitution where I am in close quarters with guy I find attractive (well I and pretty much the rest of the world, given that he is a model) and unfortunately, finds me attractive as well. We are both in a doctoral program, following the same specialization track (read: same classes together). On top of that, because we are in the same cohort, we are invited to social events and such where we inevitably interact :/ I actually know this guy from way before I even met my current SO. I always thought he was good looking but I do not like him in the least in regards to his personality. He is cocky and just...annoying. However, I do enjoy the attention he pays me, and sometimes I catch myself paying attention to his reaction to me when I walk into a room, or situations like that. But because I am in a serious relationship that is going to lead to marriage, I feel that me enjoying that attention is disloyal to my SO so I want to stop it. I just dont know how I can avoid this kid. Just now I got invited to a holiday party by one of the girls in the cohort, everyone is going, including him. I saw his acceptance to the invitation and so now I am hesitant to go because I want ot avoid him as much as possible...but then thats going to make me look bad to the rest of the cohort and quite frankly it sucks to have to miss a social event because of this. ALso, I can't avoid classes with him (though I plan to strategically place myself where I can't see him/he cant see me), but other than that I know I still have to interact with him every so often. It doesnt help that our cohort is very close knit. I dont know what else to do, and how to handle this situation. As I said, I adore my boyfriend and want to be loyal and faithful to him. I hate feeling like I am somehow cheating on him by enjoying and even instigating attention from this other guy.. Has anyone ever been in that situation? how did you deal with it?
eleve82 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 tough one - Yes I know how difficult it can be. I would suggest talking about your SO whenever your crush is around so that its clear that you prioritize your SO. If he's a sensible person, he'll get the hint that there are boundaries. There's no reason why you can't hang out with other guys around, just make it clear you are happily attached
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