hurtnomorerika Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Has anyone found themselves pregnant by their MM? If, so what was the outcome? Did you abort or have the baby? And what was the reason behind your decision?
kareena Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 I terminated my pregnancy mainly because that was what MM wanted, I also doubted my ability to raise a child for various reasons. I could not tell you how much I regret that decision, I think about it everyday and the pain I feel is unbearable. I know it was probably the "right" thing to do given the circumstances but if I could go back in time I would have the baby. Think about it carefully and do what's right for you.
CountrySlicker Posted January 15, 2013 Posted January 15, 2013 Ultimately it is a matter of what YOU want and can handle. If you want to be a parent--and a single parent at that--then problem solved. If you want to allow him into the child's life and he wants to be in it, another problem solved. But you have to consider that he may not want anything to do with you or the child. Ever. And it could get really really nasty. When men are backed into a corner they will do the darndest things. If you choose to keep the child, your A will no longer be a secret. At some point that child will deserve to know who its father is and you will have to tell the whole sordid story. My daughter was 15 when I told her. I chose to keep her because I wanted a child. He walked away at the request of my BS who played the role of dad until we divorced a few years later. I have never regretted that decision. She is my best friend. But there were really REALLY hard times. She is now in contact with her dad (I am not) as well as her non-bio dad. It works. Having said that, however, you would have to be one strong cookie to go either way. There is a huge level of logic to terminating. It would solve a lot of problems, but you would always know and always wonder. And if (goddess forbid) the procedure kept you from getting pregnant when it IS the right time, it will be even worse. You have a lot of soul searching to do. I don't envy you that. I wish I could just give you a hug and tell you that no matter what happens, you will be ok. 1
stevie_23 Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 This has never happened to me considering I’m in a real life long term relationship with another woman and my affair has been with a MM online / LDR. I have however heard of this happening with some friends of my parents. 3 separate married men fell for their secretaries and the secretaries ended up pregnant and the married men all left their wives and ended up marrying the secretaries. This all happened over 10 years ago and all lived happily ever after (I think. Who knows though, if those MM are having future affairs too now though) What would I do in this situation? I’d not continue with the pregnancy, as I don’t want, and never have wanted, children. But as far as anyone else goes, it’s entirely up to the individual.
Mount Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Very strange question because is there something in the world call "condom" Has anyone found themselves pregnant by their MM? If, so what was the outcome? Did you abort or have the baby? And what was the reason behind your decision?
CountrySlicker Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Very strange question because is there something in the world call "condom"A condom was how I got my first child. Birth control pills got me the second one so I had a tubal ligation. Now I have an additional 11 year old. Stuff happens 3
Lillyfree Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Very strange question because is there something in the world call "condom" contraception is not 100% effective. i fell pregnant (with my husband) a couple of years ago, with condom and implant! i'm not sure what's happened to you Mount, I think the two of us found this place approximately at the same time and I remember some of your story... you seem to have gone quite bitter and snarky. everyone did everything to help while you needed it - why not do the same or leave if you can't? OP, you'll know what to do. many women nowadays bring children up on their own, a lot of them even choose to do so from the beginning! there are a lot of factors to consider when making a decision regarding pregnancy. it has to be something that you won't regret later. 1
Mount Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Hi Lillyfree, my point is if OW wants to prevent pregnancy she can and will do it. At least for me, I did same even in my very short time marriage, I asked EX to put on more than 1 everytime. Guess guts was telling me the relationship with EX was not going to last long anyway which I did leave the relationship during first year marriage. My point is that I hate to see OW hurts herself or dare not requesting the protection, just in order to please MM, which obviously happening in certain cases coz even some OW will doubt their free bed not good enough for MM?! contraception is not 100% effective. i fell pregnant (with my husband) a couple of years ago, with condom and implant! i'm not sure what's happened to you Mount, I think the two of us found this place approximately at the same time and I remember some of your story... you seem to have gone quite bitter and snarky. everyone did everything to help while you needed it - why not do the same or leave if you can't? OP, you'll know what to do. many women nowadays bring children up on their own, a lot of them even choose to do so from the beginning! there are a lot of factors to consider when making a decision regarding pregnancy. it has to be something that you won't regret later.
Got it Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Has anyone found themselves pregnant by their MM? If, so what was the outcome? Did you abort or have the baby? And what was the reason behind your decision? Just a big set of hugs hurtnomorerika, (((((((((((((hurt))))))))))))))))))
Mount Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 That is why I said what I did before was asking my EX to put on two together each time $#%^, just to be 200% or 198% sure.:D:D:D Birth control is absolutely not 100% effective. The ONLY 100% method of preventing contraception is not having sex or surgical sterilization. If you want to be sure, don't do it. Plus if your method is even 99% effective, you need to consider that means that for every 100 times you have sex you're really playing russian roulette at least once. Do the math, educate yourself and don't be so quick to think that these things don't happen. They happen ALL the time. You said if she wants to prevent it she will, not necessarily true.
Mount Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 I was just being sacarstic while bring up "condom" topic, let us not HJ the thread into a medical discussion. Ugh. I hate typos. Obviously, that should say the only 100% effective method of contraception OR the only 100% effective method of preventing conception But I hope you all knew what I meant.
buckeyeblue Posted January 16, 2013 Posted January 16, 2013 Hurt - my first child was unexpected as I was on the pill. I was married, but was unsure about children. I went on to have three more. Having children has been the most rewarding experience of my life. It is difficult at times, but I love being a mom. You have to make the choice that is best for you, even if MM does not agree.
shalisha42 Posted January 17, 2013 Posted January 17, 2013 I would have it and take care of him/her/them myself. If he wants to be involved, and he would, please, by all means. He seems increasingly concerned that I could conceive, even though two doctors have said the possibility is extremely remote, but, hey, God works in mysterious ways. May I ask why you would have the baby if the guy you're involved with is married to someone else?
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