Aslanbek Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 A lot of fat guys just don't have the confidence to realize that when a girl likes them they should just ask her out. I think it's hard for lots of fat guys to realize that someone likes them, if indeed that is actually true.
Aslanbek Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I don't think weight has a significant bearing on dating, bar individual concerns/preferences. Both fat men and women can and do score. I know several fat people who are married or dating. Not everybody wants a six-pack, no more than all men want nor give a **** about a flat stomach. I don't think society hates fat people at all, and if anything it's deemed offensive to say fat people are "bad". It's really the media and socially unaware medical professionals who perpetuate this. The OP is right in that a double standard could be seen. If it's "unPC" to say fat women cannot get dates (and most in honesty would say it is) then the same should apply to a fat man. I do think that all in all, society does dislike fat people and sees them generally as unattractive. I also think fat men have it worse than fat men. BBWs will go out of their way on dating sites to say they don't want any fat men...,.then they'll cry the blues about (thin, etc.) men not being interested in them. 1
mortensorchid Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I've written on this before, and will say it again. I wish we could just make things all better for others in this, but there is no answer to this save for one : If you are fat you have to loose the weight. It is more acceptable to be a drug addict than it is to be overweight. Why? You don't always witness drug usage, you know by looking at the person that they are fat or not. The world is not going to change on this no matter how much we may pretend that we are, YOU have to change. Because kids (and adults) are cruel, whether they are doing it to your face or not. People treat you differently when you are overweight. I see the difference in others once they gain it or loose it, it's very subtle but it's there.
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I've got an overweight friend that's not just slightly overweight or a few pounds but a pretty big guy, and he does alright with women....better than the average height/weight guy I'd say that say their looks hold them back. He also has a pretty good/large social group, he's not outcasted or anything growing up with his friends (he's a bit younger than me and I don't hang out with his crowd much) but he knows a lot of women, some pretty attractive, that are apart of that circle at least...but that's how most guys are successful that I've seen anyway. He gets cut off though from the women he is really interested in, which to be fair are pretty attractive and some are just cute, but they're probably only out of his league because of his weight...at least some of them. If he lost the weight, I'm sure he could do much better...he's got the personality, he's a funny/cool guy...not one of those dopey guys, he pulls off style well too. He doesn't have some of his other ***** together though so that would hold him back with some. I tried helping the guy lose weight but he loves food too much, isn't shy about admitting it, and even though he told me he'd kill to have a good body he isn't willing to work hard enough to achieve it in the gym or exercising, so I had to drag him through it a lot of the time and he would feel like I was pushing him too hard, and then of course he couldn't stick to the diet, so he's likely not changing. The women he dates are also not overweight women themselves, average size. I know he's done online dating with moderate success too, one website he even said he did really well.
IT Geek Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 A lot of fat guys just don't have the confidence to realize that when a girl likes them they should just ask her out. We don't ask them out because you're probably more likely to win the lottery than to have a girl like you.
iiiii Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Depends what you mean by fat. A few extra kilos is different to someone who is obese. Also depends what else the guy has going for them. Fat, confident, funny, well groomed and rich? He'll get girls. Fat, shy, awkward, smelly and poor? Yeah, good luck with that.
SJC2008 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 There are couples of all shapes and sizes. OP knows this but the way he posts it seems like he thinks an average or less than average looking man is entitled to a hot babe. I've never been delusional about my looks, I never shot for how women. TBS in my city, if a woman is chunky/thick/flabby and cute or better, chances are she'll be with a skinny guy. Yes that does make me wanna puke!
Failboy Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 My ex was obese and constantly ****tting on fat men.
phineas Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I got a buddy who is fat. 6'2" close to 300lbs at his heaviest. He has ALWAYS had hot GF's. He's got game, he's balling & he's hung like a Kodiak bear. All he had to do was nail one chick at work whenever he started a new job & as soon as word spread about his tool they were coming to him just because he's that big & they wanted to experience it. When I was fat just out of divorce I wanted nothing to do with women but they were approaching me. But since I do dress well I now believe they thought I had money or they were desperate. LOL! When I was kinda fat I did ok with women but it was a struggle & I usually wound up in the friendzone. Now that i'm in shape I get women approaching me at bars when I go out alone & wanting to come home with me & the only reason i'm single is because most of the women I meet i just don't see a long term future with & since that is what they are looking for I won't waste their time just to get laid for a bit. One thing I would like to point out, people who are happy in a relationship usually start out thin then gradually get fat together because of too much partying, dinning out, watching movies on couch, child birth, ect but are still together regardless so that in my opinion is why you do happen to see overweight people in relationships with other overweight people & even in shape people.
pbjbear Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I really dont see what youre saying. Look on TV, there are tons of examples of a fat man with a beautiful woman. The first ex. I am thinking of is King and Queens. However, the fat man is usually seen as dumb too and the beautiful woman is seen as bossy/bitchy Its easier for a fat man to get a skinny chick than it is for a fat woman to get a non-fat man. Guys focus more on looks than women overall
pbjbear Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 When I was kinda fat I did ok with women but it was a struggle & I usually wound up in the friendzone. Now that i'm in shape I get women approaching me at bars when I go out alone & wanting to come home with me & the only reason i'm single is because most of the women I meet i just don't see a long term future with & since that is what they are looking for I won't waste their time just to get laid for a bit. One thing I would like to point out, people who are happy in a relationship usually start out thin then gradually get fat together because of too much partying, dinning out, watching movies on couch, child birth, ect but are still together regardless so that in my opinion is why you do happen to see overweight people in relationships with other overweight people & even in shape people. I think alot of men that post on this forum are very shy and dont get out much, or usually go to bars to find women and thats why they come back and state "there is no woman out there worth more than a lay" really boggles my mind. If I only met men at bars I would be spewing all sorts of evil hatred about them because most guys at bars, even if show you have a nice personality, still see you as a sex tool. Bar population is not a good representative of the overall population I will have to admit when I date someone and I find out that alot of their sex experiences were from picking up slutty women from bars I do get turned off towards them. And Im not just talk- 2 guys I dated I found out their sexual history after I had been seeing them for awhile and when it was like this I became less attracted to them
phineas Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I think alot of men that post on this forum are very shy and dont get out much, or usually go to bars to find women and thats why they come back and state "there is no woman out there worth more than a lay" really boggles my mind. If I only met men at bars I would be spewing all sorts of evil hatred about them because most guys at bars, even if show you have a nice personality, still see you as a sex tool. Bar population is not a good representative of the overall population I will have to admit when I date someone and I find out that alot of their sex experiences were from picking up slutty women from bars I do get turned off towards them. And Im not just talk- 2 guys I dated I found out their sexual history after I had been seeing them for awhile and when it was like this I became less attracted to them I rarely go out to bars though. Maybe every other month if that. More in the summer. and the majority of women I do meet are from online dating. However, most of the men who post on this site can't even get drunk women in bars to sleep with them. LOL! I'm gonna be 41. Asking for someone's sexual history at my age is just dumb because who wants to spend an evening talking about THAT? I sure don't. 1
pbjbear Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I rarely go out to bars though. Maybe every other month if that. More in the summer. and the majority of women I do meet are from online dating. However, most of the men who post on this site can't even get drunk women in bars to sleep with them. LOL! I'm gonna be 41. Asking for someone's sexual history at my age is just dumb because who wants to spend an evening talking about THAT? I sure don't. I dont bring up someone's sexual history. I found this out about the 2 men I dated because they let it slip and their friends talked about it. And if you dont go to bars that much I highly doubt most of your sexual experiences are picking up women from bars so youre fine But last week I went out to a bar with some friends and this guy I talked to for 3 hrs was trying to get me to come home with him...I highly doubt I was the first girl he did that to and it turned me off thinking I was probably part of a line of women he does this to...and I was pretty buzzed as well. I guess I am one of the few women who doesnt believe in the double standard that women who sleep around arent relationship material and men that do are
IT Geek Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Look on TV, there are tons of examples of a fat man with a beautiful woman. The first ex. I am thinking of is King and Queens. However, the fat man is usually seen as dumb too and the beautiful woman is seen as bossy/bitchy And TV reflects reality? ROFLMAO
CarrieT Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 When I was 20 years old (and quite a head-turner), I married a man who was 6'6" and 310 pounds. I have since dated a number of fat men. My current BF has a paunch. Yes, fat men get women. Just go to a mall and people-watch; you will see people of all sizes and shapes together, even fat people.
somedude81 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Something tells me this guy doesn't have women banging on his door. No, women like fat men even less than men like fat women. There is no fetish for fat guys. Yes some fat man do get thin women. Though what I've seen, and it's been reinforced in this thread, all those guys were very tall.....
Els Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Something tells me this guy doesn't have women banging on his door. No, women like fat men even less than men like fat women. There is no fetish for fat guys. Yes some fat man do get thin women. Though what I've seen, and it's been reinforced in this thread, all those guys were very tall..... Kim Dotcom and his wife Yeah, so he's rich and successful as hell. And maybe those guys you mentioned were tall. But the question wasn't, "Do men with absolutely no good attributes get women?", it was, "Do fat men get women?" And the answer is clearly yes, if they have other good attributes. Obviously if someone, male or female, is obese with absolutely NO redeeming qualities (physical or otherwise), they will find it incredibly difficult to find people who are interested in them. That goes without saying. As for the guy in your link, I'll wager the major problem he has with women is that, judging from his room, he's a 'teenage adult' with no grasp of how to treat women or how to talk to them. 1
IT Geek Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Yeah, so he's rich and successful as hell. That's exactly NOT why I want a woman to like me. I want someone to fall for me for ME, not for what they think I can give them. I've been down that path in college and found out the girl I was dating had no romantic interest in me whatsoever but was with me for what I could provide for her. If you take out the money factor, my only redeeming quality is my brain. But that's not something that women can see when they make the infamous "yes/maybe/no" decision when first sizing you up.
xxoo Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 That's exactly NOT why I want a woman to like me. I want someone to fall for me for ME, not for what they think I can give them. I've been down that path in college and found out the girl I was dating had no romantic interest in me whatsoever but was with me for what I could provide for her. If you take out the money factor, my only redeeming quality is my brain. But that's not something that women can see when they make the infamous "yes/maybe/no" decision when first sizing you up. The point is that they needs to be something to spark attraction. After the attraction is sparked, then she has a chance to fall in love with you real you inside. A beautiful woman can have a similar challenge--figuring out which men want her for her beauty (most), and which men want her for who she is inside (only a handful). 2
Els Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 That's exactly NOT why I want a woman to like me. I want someone to fall for me for ME, not for what they think I can give them. I've been down that path in college and found out the girl I was dating had no romantic interest in me whatsoever but was with me for what I could provide for her. If you take out the money factor, my only redeeming quality is my brain. But that's not something that women can see when they make the infamous "yes/maybe/no" decision when first sizing you up. You are missing the entire point. The point is that people fall for people with the good qualities that they want. Some want money. Some want height. Some want a nice face. Some want a good personality. Some want a partner with a good head on their shoulders. Some want a partner with a good figure. Most people want some combination of the above. Whether or not YOU want someone to like you for your money is besides the point. The point is that obese people, like anyone else, have a chance with the opposite sex based on any or all of the above qualities. They just lack the 'good figure' quality, which may or may not matter depending on whom they are trying to attract.
IT Geek Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 You are missing the entire point. The point is that people fall for people with the good qualities that they want. Some want money. Some want height. Some want a nice face. Some want a good personality. Some want a partner with a good head on their shoulders. Some want a partner with a good figure. Most people want some combination of the above. Whether or not YOU want someone to like you for your money is besides the point. The point is that obese people, like anyone else, have a chance with the opposite sex based on any or all of the above qualities. They just lack the 'good figure' quality, which may or may not matter depending on whom they are trying to attract. But how do you know which qualities (if any) a person possesses when first meeting? You don't. The only thing you have to base your "yes/no/maybe decision" on is physical looks. While looks may not be the PRIMARY focus when someone is looking for a potential mate, there must be some sort of physical "spark" to give the incentive to proceed with learning about the person. If you aren't initially attracted to someone and they get ousted in your first impression, why would you bother to get to know their other qualities since they have been dismissed as a potential romantic partner.
Els Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 But how do you know which qualities (if any) a person possesses when first meeting? You don't. The only thing you have to base your "yes/no/maybe decision" on is physical looks. While looks may not be the PRIMARY focus when someone is looking for a potential mate, there must be some sort of physical "spark" to give the incentive to proceed with learning about the person. If you aren't initially attracted to someone and they get ousted in your first impression, why would you bother to get to know their other qualities since they have been dismissed as a potential romantic partner. So how did you think Kim Dotcom got his (very good-looking) wife? And all the other obese men who have wives of their own (though perhaps not as good-looking, but perhaps those men don't care, which could be a redeeming quality of theirs)?
ja123 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 I met a cute, hot girl who went out with a morbidly obese guy. He was in a cool profession which certainly added to his appeal, but the thing she said to me was that he was the only guy who ever brought her to orgasm. I don't know what his trick was?!!! But, anyhow, she ended up marrying him.! 1
phineas Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 I dont bring up someone's sexual history. I found this out about the 2 men I dated because they let it slip and their friends talked about it. And if you dont go to bars that much I highly doubt most of your sexual experiences are picking up women from bars so youre fine But last week I went out to a bar with some friends and this guy I talked to for 3 hrs was trying to get me to come home with him...I highly doubt I was the first girl he did that to and it turned me off thinking I was probably part of a line of women he does this to...and I was pretty buzzed as well. I guess I am one of the few women who doesnt believe in the double standard that women who sleep around arent relationship material and men that do are I wish I could say it's the age group but it isn't. I know a few single guys my own age who push to take a woman home. If that's their thing then ok. Those guys are super aggressive & can come off as creepy if their trying to convince her. But, it still works for them so...... For me, i'd rather get a number or let them do the work if they want to go home with me. Also there are a good amount of women out there just looking for a hook-up.
thatone Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 (edited) That's exactly NOT why I want a woman to like me. I want someone to fall for me for ME, not for what they think I can give them. I've been down that path in college and found out the girl I was dating had no romantic interest in me whatsoever but was with me for what I could provide for her. If you take out the money factor, my only redeeming quality is my brain. But that's not something that women can see when they make the infamous "yes/maybe/no" decision when first sizing you up. Everyone is selfish to an extent, women are just taught to hide and lie about their own desires from a young age. Symptom of religious zealot culture. I met a cute, hot girl who went out with a morbidly obese guy. He was in a cool profession which certainly added to his appeal, but the thing she said to me was that he was the only guy who ever brought her to orgasm. I don't know what his trick was?!!! But, anyhow, she ended up marrying him.! Case in point. Not that there's anything wrong with the above. Edited December 9, 2012 by thatone
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