irc333 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Okay, I've seen this in a few dating profiles here and there, and I can honestly say, for a man who doesn't have kids of his own....I can say yay or nay that if I like kids or not. I'm like, "Depends on the kid, if he's a little brat....well, you have your answer" if not, maybe he can grow on me, who knows. But to say, "If you don't like kids" well, that's up to interpretation, but I could take them or leave them.......depending on the kid. Usually, in an initial email to such a profile, I don't even make mention whether or not I like them.
grkBoy Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 It simply means if you're the type who detests all kids and will give her flack for not pretending to be childless, then don't bother emailing her. If you're the type who will never play with her kids or take any kind of fatherly role (if things got very serious), then don't email her. As a guy, you're allowed to reject a single mom if her kids are evil brats and she doesn't discipline them. Women have the same right with single dads. 1
carhill Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 It's pretty simple: If your first instinct around any child is to be interested in them and engage them, you like kids in general. If you don't recognize them as any particular sort of interest, then don't contact the lady. Adults play a huge role in children's lives, forming their minds and psyches for their future adulthood, and a relationship is about as intimate as a non-biological parent will ever get with a child, barring adoption circumstances. Given your age, I would think your views about children in general should be well formed. Nearly every child can be a brat; some more than others. That's why adults discipline them; to mold their minds. That's a given with parenting. The operative aspect is whether you *like* the idea of parenting. If you don't, then don't date women with children. Simple as that. 4
phineas Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Interestingly enough, i've had women with children consider MY children baggage and i've dated women who wanted me to place their own kids above my own. I of course stopped talking to those women.
carhill Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 In those cases, the woman should disclose, pursuant to the style indicated in the OP: 'If you have kids, don't contact me' 1
DC4 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Good lord I wish men would put that on their profile as a warning to me. At 43 I am really sick of dating guys with younger kids. Mine is 20, I am DONE with babysitters, kids getting sick, school crap, etc. I don't know if this is a gender thing, but I have noticed men are reluctant to bring you around their kids so there's that at least. I shudder every time I hear "if you ever meet them..." No thank you.
phineas Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Good lord I wish men would put that on their profile as a warning to me. At 43 I am really sick of dating guys with younger kids. Mine is 20, I am DONE with babysitters, kids getting sick, school crap, etc. I don't know if this is a gender thing, but I have noticed men are reluctant to bring you around their kids so there's that at least. I shudder every time I hear "if you ever meet them..." No thank you. LOL! I got little ones & I disclose that in my profile & purposefully avoid women who do not have kids at my age or are empty nester's because i know their in party mode. Unless they state they don't mind kids.
DC4 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 LOL! I got little ones & I disclose that in my profile & purposefully avoid women who do not have kids at my age or are empty nester's because i know their in party mode. Unless they state they don't mind kids. That makes sense all around. I get the feeling from the men I date that they think being a woman means being maternal and all into the kids thing. I don't mean to say they are mommy hunting, but I think they feel I'm a lot more forgiving about it than I am. I am not in "party mode" but I certainly do not want to rush home from dinner because things ran late and someone has to get kids to bed.
Author irc333 Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 had to wait to assess his take on my children. So you won't date a guy and let him assess the situation while you're dating him? Why not?
FitChick Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 No different to saying, "If you don't like dogs" or cats or whatever.
pbjbear Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I dont think theres anything wrong with writing that on your profile. If a woman wants kids eventually, a man who hates kids is wasting her time by going out with her. Especially for older women who dont have much time left to have kids, you need to weed men out. However, some men lie about wanting kids because if they dont want them, yet say they want them on their profile, it tends to attract more "nice girls" One guy I dated for 2 months off of match.com put on his profile he wanted kids eventually. He was a tool so I didnt date him for too long but was friends with him for a bit afterwards. He told me several times he never wanted kids and I asked him why he put it on his profile then. He played dumb at first and then admitted later putting that on his profile attracted women who were less likely to be bitchy and mean. He wants a "nice caring sweet" girl who is willing to put up with his crappy behavior
DC4 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 However, some men lie about wanting kids because if they dont want them, yet say they want them on their profile, it tends to attract more "nice girls" One guy I dated for 2 months off of match.com put on his profile he wanted kids eventually. He was a tool so I didnt date him for too long but was friends with him for a bit afterwards. He told me several times he never wanted kids and I asked him why he put it on his profile then. He played dumb at first and then admitted later putting that on his profile attracted women who were less likely to be bitchy and mean. He wants a "nice caring sweet" girl who is willing to put up with his crappy behavior Just when I thought I'd heard it all...
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