NC Day 2.....this is hard!!

[Halo84]

OK so myself and my BF of 2 years split up 3 weeks today, he left our home to stay at a (single) friends house, he said he needed time and space etc, anyway after 2.5 weeks of me asking why, begging and getting angry/upset, as he left a little out of the blue, i have engaged in NC.

Any way i found him on a dating site the other day! when i asked him about this he said he could do what he wanted and he had told me 'he didn't want me', after which he then said he would delete the profile on there and that he did it out of anger after an argument with me (BS), now to add to this i have a 3 year old son, who he has been a father to for the 2 years we've been together.

 

I have done a lot for this guy i'm a very selfless person and got him the good job he has now as he relocated to be with me, and wasn't doing very much before he met me.

 

I wanted to buy a house etc and i guess i added stress to his life, but my main concern is my son and his future. think it was all too much for him.

I guess if he thinks the grass is greener....maybe it is...

 

Anyway I'm finding the NC really hard, i'm on day 2 and it's difficult I'm really upset, i know i will get through this and it's not the worst thing to happen to a person i appreciate that. I'm not sure he will miss me at all he's only said he's missing my son but tbf we have spoken nearly every day before NC so i haven't gave him time to miss me, but i suppose NC will work for me more than anything....i would appreciate any comments.

[TaraMaiden]

Read the No Contact guide in my signature.

Day 2? I hate to break this to you, but it will get worse before it gets better - but it can and WILL get better - as long as you don't break it.

If you do, you'll simply go back to day one.

[Halo84]

Thanks Tara!This is very helpful, I know there's no 'quick fix' and this is going to take some time and some work.

I need to focus on myself and my son!

It's easier said than done this NC lark...but worth it!

[Maya_Dawn]

OK so myself and my BF of 2 years split up 3 weeks today, he left our home to stay at a (single) friends house, he said he needed time and space etc, anyway after 2.5 weeks of me asking why, begging and getting angry/upset, as he left a little out of the blue, i have engaged in NC.

Any way i found him on a dating site the other day! when i asked him about this he said he could do what he wanted and he had told me 'he didn't want me', after which he then said he would delete the profile on there and that he did it out of anger after an argument with me (BS), now to add to this i have a 3 year old son, who he has been a father to for the 2 years we've been together.

 

I have done a lot for this guy i'm a very selfless person and got him the good job he has now as he relocated to be with me, and wasn't doing very much before he met me.

 

I wanted to buy a house etc and i guess i added stress to his life, but my main concern is my son and his future. think it was all too much for him.

I guess if he thinks the grass is greener....maybe it is...

 

Anyway I'm finding the NC really hard, i'm on day 2 and it's difficult I'm really upset, i know i will get through this and it's not the worst thing to happen to a person i appreciate that. I'm not sure he will miss me at all he's only said he's missing my son but tbf we have spoken nearly every day before NC so i haven't gave him time to miss me, but i suppose NC will work for me more than anything....i would appreciate any comments.

 

Hi there,

 

Keep at the NC. Day 2 will soon be day 3, day 4 and before you know it, it'll be day 20. Day 20 will then be day 40, and soon it won't require any effort at all to maintain the NC. I know its really hard, believe me I do. Especially at Day 2, when reaching the next day just seems impossible.

 

Don't think about things like "is he missing me", "wonder if he's hurting now like I am", "what is he doing", "is he over me" etc. You'll never know what he's doing and even if you did, chances are it'll hurt you even more. You're better off not knowing. In this situation, ignorance is bliss.

 

You also need to accept that as much as you want him to suffer as much are you are suffering now, you can't make him feel that way. Nor can you make him call you, text you or miss you. Sometimes a long-term relationship can just end, and we may never know the real reason behind it. Its just one of those things that happens in life. And chances are, no reason he offers will be good enough justification for the end of a relationship in which you have given it your all.

 

You can't control him. But you can work on you. Remember you? Be selfish. Think of you. Do things for you. Use this time to think of you and make you happy.

 

Good luck! You can do it!

[Love Bytes]

Sorry to hear that. My g/f of 3 years left me this past Saturday, and the first couple days were rough. I spoke to her the day after and met with her on Monday. Since then, I've been strictly NC. This is day 4, and the first 2 days were bad, the 3rd day was absolutely horrific (until that night), and today, I'm doing ok.

 

Of course I'm still sad, and I miss her, but life does go on. What helped me, was going and doing something I loved to do. Something that she was never really a part of, and something I did long before we dated. Really helped me cope, and gave me something to look forward to.

 

I'm gonna keep NC for a little while, but I feel like I may be able to break it soon enough and still be ok. Things that remind me of her make me sad still, but not miserable, and I know I'll be ok. You will too, with time.