Javabear Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I've posted here a few times about my breakup with my boyfriend of three years. Initially I kept saying that he left me for someone else, but as the months since the breakup have unfolded I am beginning to think that's not actually the case. While it's true that our breakup began when he told me that he had feelings for someone else, he and her are not publicly dating (although I know he said they had one date planned) and he hasn't even talked about her with his best friend. I am very close with all of his friends and every single one of them agree that it was crazy for him to break up with me. I treated him with the utmost respect and love that anyone can have for another person. I was his support, his comfort and truest confidant. We had a great relationship filled with tons of laughter and adventure. Nobody, not even me, saw the breakup coming. I will admit that at times I was a bit needy, but I have recognized that fault and have learned to be less dependent on others and more comfortable with being by myself. I have grown a great deal in the three months since we've been apart and I am a much stronger and more independent person. My ex, on the other hand, refuses to acknowledge his emotions. He is the type of person who pushes them deep, deep down, puts on a smile and pretends everything is fine. I believe he is using this other girl as a distraction from feeling the weight of his actions. For over a month I tried to get him back. I wanted him to see how much I believe in us and how great we are together. We were supposed to get married. We were supposed to be together forever. We promised each other all of this and more. But young love is foolish and ignorant and I know that we both (but him especially) need time to grow up. He still has lots of things at my apartment and I have decided that with my new-found strength I am going to pack them up and bring them to him next week. It will be a symbolic gesture of my letting him go. I love him with all my heart. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone else before.... but sometimes love is letting go. I love the boy he was when we fell for each other three years ago, but something in him has changed and I don't recognize him anymore. He is going through a monumental shift in his life (graduating college this June, his band is most likely breaking up, he doesn't know what he wants to do for a career besides play music etc.) and I think the pressure of our relationship got to him. As sad as I am to have to let go of a person who means so much to me, I cannot and will not beg him to love me. I do not deserve that and I have enough confidence in myself to know that I should have someone better. So as much as it pains me and as brokenhearted as I am, and even though a small part of me still believes we belong together, I'm letting go. This is the thing to do, right?
LostOne1 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I'm proud of you. I lost my ex in some of the same fashion. All I can say is we won't really know what changed them so much. But the fact is THEY did CHANGE and we can't suffer along for their decision. We have to accept how things are now and move on and know we deserve better. Wish you all the best! *hugs 4 u*
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