cityclash Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 (edited) Need help. I had a bad break up four months ago. My ex ended things for a reason that is without much foundation. I would had understood the reason from a teenager but not from an adult woman. That afternoon of the breakup I was pretty hurt by everything my ex said. Put all the weight on me and told me I was the one at fault. bascially inconsiderate towards my feelings even after pouring out my heart. Told me to apologize and then told me to leave. A few weeks after the breakup I sent her an email. So I sent her a letter that for me was sort of like a closure letter and I told her that I loved her and all my feelings for her and what I thought about the break up but guess what NO REPly at all. After it I went no contact for my own progress and understanding of things. Four months past by and I get a text a few days ago cause she heard the news I had been sick. So in the text she wishes me well and hoping everything subsides. Naturally what anyone would do is to reply with a thank you note but the thing is that things ended on a bad note from her part and she was pretty hurtful. the reason without reason breakup. She just basically disappeared without reason after the breakup. She said she had fallen in love with me but No contact what so ever after . not even a reply.So what should I do after all these months of nothing? Should I reply or not reply at all like she did? Is there really any point to her text? The relationship was already in trouble but not that day. Edited December 7, 2012 by cityclash
movingon12 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Ignore the text, feel smug that she can't get you out of her head and stay NC.
Cl0udy Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Me ex left me like that too. It was awful. After that day I knew I had to move on. He contacted me a month later. Came to my house. Flowers, cards, letters etc. he fooled me again and left. After the second time it was 100Xs harder for me to move on then the first. It took me back by a mile. Why call me, why text me if you we're gonna play me again. I didn't listen to love shag and gave him a second chance when he came back. Big mistake! Please do not reply. Nothing that she says will make you feel better. You may even go back a couple of steps, but it is nothing like if you respond and either she writes back(now you open communication<< not good) or she does not respond EVER ( you get hurt again). Let her feel the loss. You will heal and when you do no thanks to her. I know it's hard and tempting to text back. Delete the message. Pretend it didn't happen. If she writes again come back to love shag and will help you figure it out. Till then be strong and have self control. She doesn't deserve the smallest bit of your energy. Don't do it!
Author cityclash Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 Thank you movingon12 and CL0udy for your insight and advice! Cl0udy, maybe the second time was harder for you because reality starts to set in. Or just simply because we were really wishing for the relationship to work in the end. the having to accept things as they are is hard. a lot of times we listen to our hearts only and thats when I think we fail? Because of hope for a change.unlike your ex, my ex's only contact was the one she made a few days ago; the one that I just discussed with you guys. I have read other stories like mine with similar prolonged periods of nc from the dumper. I also asked myself many questions like you have. Whys this and why that. her text boggled me and caused pain too. Kinda similar feelings as yours Cl0udy. Ex ended things for something meaningless, ignored my letter after enduring a lot of negative things from her and then she texts with that text after all this time. I was just with a bunch of whys. the text felt like an interruption. No acknowledgement of wrong doings of anything whatsoever. I have asked myself why the trouble of texting now. She ended things badly. now Like nothing I have been tempted to reply like you said. I haven't replied, I will take the advice. I am afraid of going backwards and being hurt once again. It's true I would be Delaying progress. I will come back for any further help, thanks a million.
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