Failboy Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 See you did a bad thing. You have to date girls you like, not just use ugly girls for sex. No girl I like would want to date me. I've tried it for many, many years. I'm not the type who is happy being all by himself ... there is just no other choice for me but to lower my standards as low as it gets...
Necris Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Lowering your standards certainly is a good thing. Well the concept is to widen your net. Some people have weird unnatural standards that hinder them. See I generally don't find fat girls attractive, but if I found one sexy and good looking etc... I wouldn't just not date her because she's fat. You see what I'm saying here. I make attraction my standard. So if a girl has screwy teeth and crossed eyes and messy hair... she may still be damn sexy, in fact if I think she's below other peoples standards yet I find her really pretty, that just makes her hotter. Now for the most part I don't find fat old looking people hot, but if some fat old looking woman was hot to me I'd give it a try. So let nature lower your standards as low as they'll go. What you described isn't lowering your standards you said you generally don't find fat girls attractive, but if you saw a sexy girl that was fat you would date her, which is different. Lowering your standards typically means going for people you aren't normally attracted to, your standards for most people are the qualities for a potential mate that they like. If a girl is attractive to you she's meeting your standards. Truly lowering your standards would mean going after that fat girl you have no attraction towards just for the sake of being with a girl.
Failboy Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 What you described isn't lowering your standards you said you generally don't find fat girls attractive, but if you saw a sexy girl that was fat you would date her, which is different. Lowering your standards typically means going for people you aren't normally attracted to, your standards for most people are the qualities for a potential mate that they like. Truly lowering your standards would mean going after that fat girl you have no attraction towards just for the sake of being with a girl. It is not as bad as it sounds. I did exactly that and I was never happier in my life before... Takes many years of brutal rejections to get to that point, though.
Author Nightsky Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 No girl I like would want to date me. I've tried it for many, many years. I'm not the type who is happy being all by himself ... there is just no other choice for me but to lower my standards as low as it gets... You're from Germany? That's a rich country. A guy in your country who is poor would be considered rich in many parts of the world. Ever thought of taking a vacation to one of these poor parts and picking yourself up a hot foreign gf??? You see I don't have your troubles getting women, but if I did than that would be a good solution. I mean I never even traveled to the poor parts of the world and when ever I travel women love me as a foreigner. I'm sure you'd experience the same effect especially if you went some where poor.
tigressA Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Do any girls on here find Indian guys attractive? I do, except for the ones who ask this question. 2
Author Nightsky Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 I do, except for the ones who ask this question. Do you date tall good looking white guys?
somedude81 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 The problem with lowering my standards is that it's hard to make the effort to pursue somebody that I'm not just not attracted to. Even harder is changing what I'm attracted to. As it is, I'm already attracted to a very large percentage of women aged 19-35 that the only thing that really determines if I want to pursue somebody or not is her personality. In other words, when I think a bunch of girls are pretty, a girl being pretty is no longer a requirement.
Failboy Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 You're from Germany? That's a rich country. A guy in your country who is poor would be considered rich in many parts of the world. Ever thought of taking a vacation to one of these poor parts and picking yourself up a hot foreign gf??? You see I don't have your troubles getting women, but if I did than that would be a good solution. I mean I never even traveled to the poor parts of the world and when ever I travel women love me as a foreigner. I'm sure you'd experience the same effect especially if you went some where poor. It's quite a shady industry over here ... there are agencies that hook involuntary celibacy type of men up with women from the Philippines, Thailand and such. It's quite expensive and often a scam, the women are in it 100% for the money, trying to provide for their entire family by dating a German guy lol. Maybe in 10-15 years when I am old(er) and lonely I'd consider this, but right now it is too expensive to even fly to such a country, let lone go through all the legal trouble of bringing her over and providing for her etc.
Author Nightsky Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 The problem with lowering my standards is that it's hard to make the effort to pursue somebody that I'm not just not attracted to. Even harder is changing what I'm attracted to. As it is, I'm already attracted to a very large percentage of women aged 19-35 that the only thing that really determines if I want to pursue somebody or not is her personality. In other words, when I think a bunch of girls are pretty, a girl being pretty is no longer a requirement. Well I agree with everything you said. So I'm sticking up for you as in it's bad advice if you can't change what you're attracted to. If you can look at an ugly girl and get all excited about her than you should. The bad luck you've had with women in some cases for some guys would lead them to find ugly women sexy. It's quite a shady industry over here ... there are agencies that hook involuntary celibacy type of men up with women from the Philippines, Thailand and such. It's quite expensive and often a scam, the women are in it 100% for the money, trying to provide for their entire family by dating a German guy lol. Maybe in 10-15 years when I am old(er) and lonely I'd consider this, but right now it is too expensive to even fly to such a country, let lone go through all the legal trouble of bringing her over and providing for her etc. I'm not telling you to use some shady service. I'm telling you to go over there yourself. You'll have the women throwing themselves at you. The fathers and uncles will find you in the street and want to introduce you to their young single female relatives. I mean if you're just a guy living on welfare you're like a king to them. I don't know how old you are now but understand that if you really can't get your act together with women in your country you do have hope when you're ready to start a family. If that's you in the picture you seem like a good enough looking guy. It's kind of an odd picture but I can tell you're some what handsome. Obviously being a man is more about how you carry yourself than how you look in a picture and I can tell you lack confidence.
somedude81 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Well I agree with everything you said. So I'm sticking up for you as in it's bad advice if you can't change what you're attracted to. If you can look at an ugly girl and get all excited about her than you should. The bad luck you've had with women in some cases for some guys would lead them to find ugly women sexy. Sadly, I don't think I can tell my little friend what is sexy and what isn't. He isn't really known for listening to what I say. Even then, young ugly women are so few and far between that I have to go out of my way to find one. When you're surrounded by pretty girls, looking for the girl that's pretty on the inside is pointless.
Author Nightsky Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 Sadly, I don't think I can tell my little friend what is sexy and what isn't. He isn't really known for listening to what I say. Even then, young ugly women are so few and far between that I have to go out of my way to find one. When you're surrounded by pretty girls, looking for the girl that's pretty on the inside is pointless. Well the fact that you claim you're surrounded by large numbers of pretty girls makes it sound like your standards are in a good place. You need to just do it. Than you'll have don it. You see? 2
mesmerized Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 One standard that I feel like I have to lower is height requirements. I have seen some shorter guys I was totally attracted to but Im still not open to the idea of actually dating them. Other than this I don't think I should have to lower anything else.
somedude81 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 One standard that I feel like I have to lower is height requirements. I have seen some shorter guys I was totally attracted to but Im still not open to the idea of actually dating them. Other than this I don't think I should have to lower anything else. Let me guess, anybody below 5'8 is short? And you're about 5'10?
mesmerized Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Let me guess, anybody below 5'8 is short? And you're about 5'10? Correct and I'm 5'3", pretty much average for women.
LittleTiger Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Correct and I'm 5'3", pretty much average for women. Snap, although anyone below 5'10' 'feels' short to me! That said, in my dating days, I dated men between 5'7" and 6'2". The guy is more important than his height and 'attraction' is the only standard I've ever used. What is the point of a relationship with someone you're not attracted to?
tigressA Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I agree with your basic premise, OP--that regardless of your 'standards', if you're attracted to someone and they're attracted to you, you should just go for it. You really shouldn't settle for anyone you're not attracted to, though. I know the difference between settling and not, and I will never ever settle again. 2
Emilia Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I agree that you should date whoever you are attracted to. I'm lucky that it's usually good attributes that I find attractive: ie a guy who is active, reasonably well brought up, gainfully employed, has his sh*t together. I don't care about height or hairloss but I care about how he looks after his physique: ie whether he looks after what he can change. Same with his socio-economic background: what I care about is what he makes of himself. My boxing trainer - who I think is sh*t hot - is short and bald with an amazing physique and he is a lovely person, very modest. I'd be all over him given half a chance :D 1
soccerrprp Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 in regards to the height thing...i laugh at OLD profiles of women who are shorter than, say 5'5 or 5'4 looking for men 6-12 inches taller than themselves then complain in their profiles that they can't find any decent men. I'm shorter than average guy and have had reasonable success dating online. Not complaining personally. But once had a woman (it seemed) ridicule my height. I told her that it wasn't a problem for me, but obviously was for her and she quickly shut up. AND she was three inches shorter than I was! She was looking for a guy a whole foot taller! LOL! Anyway, it's a preference, though limiting. You have to find someone you're attracted to physically, personality comes later.
IT Geek Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I agree with your basic premise, OP--that regardless of your 'standards', if you're attracted to someone and they're attracted to you, you should just go for it. You really shouldn't settle for anyone you're not attracted to, though. I know the difference between settling and not, and I will never ever settle again. Some of us don't have a choice but to settle if we don't want to die a hermit.
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I am with guys on the height issue. I find it ridiculous that under 5'6" girls won't date anyone that's not 5'10" or above. Sheesh. Leave the tall guys to some of us who are actually tall ourselves 3
somedude81 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Let me guess, anybody below 5'8 is short? And you're about 5'10? Correct and I'm 5'3", pretty much average for women. Hypocrite. You're short for a human. The same thing would be me being 200lbs and refusing to date obese women. 2
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 SD, I guess we need to think of these poor girls if they decide to wear 5 inch heels. I am sure most never do, but they want to have that option and for a guy to still be taller - certainly a very reasonable standard to have
mesmerized Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I am with guys on the height issue. I find it ridiculous that under 5'6" girls won't date anyone that's not 5'10" or above. Sheesh. Leave the tall guys to some of us who are actually tall ourselves A lot of taller guys love shorter women. I've had guys 6 and above tell me Im the perfect height to them. And from a biological point of view, tall and short people only mating within themselves is a bad idea because it makes the height gaps even more pronounced.
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I don't think my standards could get much lower, without just totally not having them at all. 1
mesmerized Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Hypocrite. You're short for a human. The same thing would be me being 200lbs and refusing to date obese women. Lol, youre short for a human? So a hairy man should be willing to date an equally hairy woman? SD, I guess we need to think of these poor girls if they decide to wear 5 inch heels. I am sure most never do, but they want to have that option and for a guy to still be taller - certainly a very reasonable standard to have Meh, has nothing to do with heels for me. Being with a taller guy is just hotter and way more arousing for me. Id like to change this but you can't easily change what you're attracted to.
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