avon20 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 So my ex girlfriend broke up with me 18 months ago because I was not ready to commit to her. Her idea of commitment was spending more time together and living together. We dated for 3 years. I did not want any part of that living together business. Toward the tail end of our relationship I told her that I did not want to spend the night at her place anymore and from that point on a rift was created in the relationship. I said that I am perfectly happy seeing her only twice a week for the rest of my life. Then she broke it off 3 days later, began eyeing up other men and sleeping with other guys. She actually had the guts to tell me to my face that she had sex with so and so. That's always a bad sign when a woman has the guts to actually tell you to your face especially when I wasn't even asking her questions about her love life after we had broken up. So anyway she moves back to her home state about 1 year after the breakup. She originally moved to my town in 2009 to be with me. We started out long distance relationship. So even after she moves back she sends me breadcrumb texts or she calls me sometimedsometimes. I don't think she has ever gone more than 6 weeks without calling me. The other day she calls me telling me about her current sexual escapades and how she has turned 30 and wants to have a kid and that she is trying to get pregnant. I am surprised she hasn't gotten pregnant already with all the unprotected sex she claims to have. So anyway she tells me that she sometimes hates me that we are not together and that it really hurt her that I never made much of an effort in the relationship. What are the chances that my ex still has feelings for me? She asks me why I do not call her sometimes to talk. I tell her I am busy. The real reason I do not call is because I am still trying to heal from the breakup. I have done LC instead of NC. Limited contact means I only talk to her when she initiates contact. So am I in the friend-zone or does she still have feelings for me?There's been other phone conversations where she says it is too bad we did not work out because she loved me tremendously.
Pinky777 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 (edited) She obviously still has feelings for you, and you need to stop resonding to her. NC, not LC. In all honesty, I'd be angry and upset too if I uprooted my life, moved to a different state to be with someone just to have them not want to commit after 3 years. I don't know many people who'd be happy with 2 days a week, nevermind having someone say that to them. But what's done is done, you obviously had different needs in the relationship. Either way it doesn't excuse her telling you of her sexual escapades with other dudes, it's rude and childish and it's only an attempt to make you jealous and see what you are supposedly missing. You both need to move on. She's still angry at you after a year and a half and that's not healthy. Stop resonding to her breadcrumbs. Whatever her feelings are, whether it's obsession, anger, or just to see that she still has you on the hook, it's doing neither of you any good. If she were your friend she wouldn't bring up how angry she is or what went wong in your relationship. Sometimes, you can be friends long after a breakup, but this is one of those cases. I believe she's trying to convince herself she can be your friend and is trying to trade sex stories with you like "one of the boys". Does she ever ask you how you are? I'm sure she does not. She is not your friend. Drop her. Edited December 7, 2012 by Pinky777
magnoliasoutherly Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 The real reason I do not call is because I am still trying to heal from the breakup. I have done LC instead of NC. Limited contact means I only talk to her when she initiates contact. So am I in the friend-zone or does she still have feelings for me?There's been other phone conversations where she says it is too bad we did not work out because she loved me tremendously.Well, YEAH. lol! I can't think of any stronger signals than that, other than dragging you to a church to be married. She very much has feelings for you. Now, I don't mean to sound flippant about this, but why are you bothered with all this sex she's having if you're only okay with seeing her a couple of times a week and never living with her? You are more than willing to get your rocks off on your time, and your time alone, but not on hers? Look. She obviously loves you and wants to be with you. Her sexcapades are simply pathetic attempts to make you jealous. The irony is that it has worked and I don't even understand why because that aside, you obviously don't really love her and definitely don't want to be with her. You just want her to be there when you're ready for her. If you cannot commit to her, then you need to be done with her and let her get on with her own life. You have a responsibility to let her have her happiness, especially if you have any caring for her at all. If you have realized you love her, fine. Tell her. Otherwise, let her go. Forever.
Recommended Posts