lovesick1 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Hey everyone! First off, I am 23, and she is 20. I met her in lab for a class I am taking and right off the bat we starting talking, joking, and flirting as if we had known each other for years. It was the weirdest experience ever. So weird and so significant was it I decided to ask her if she'd like to get drinks with me that weekend. She agreed, I got her number and fast forward to Friday- I ask her to get drinks and she flakes out on me saying something came up, but that I should definitely text her if I was going out tomorrow. Saturday rolls around- text her letting her know I am heading out if she is interested in meeting up- no response. Fast forward 3 months to a few weeks ago. The flirting in lab/class still continues and we still text quite often (mostly about school stuff but still in a flirtatious way). I did her a favor for class and jokingly I say, "So what do I get in return?" She says, "I dunno how about a hug?" And I say, "How about you let me buy you dinner?" All she responds with is "Yeah, maybe." Then hugs me and takes off. Fast forward to today, she comes over to my house today and yesterday to prepare for our final and we talk, flirt, and laugh just like always, but I don't push the envelope anymore. I just want to know what the hell is going on and I feel like asking her directly will push her away and I don't want to do that. I am pretty sure she doesn't have a boyfriend, the only guy she's mentioned is one from back home who she told me was her best friend from high school. She isn't ever talking about other guys, texting them, talking about her bf, nothing. And when she hears me talking about or looking at other girls she shuts down, leaves, or just kinda stops talking like something is bothering her. Any idea what is going on? Why does she keep fending off my advances when we clearly seem to have a lot of chemistry?
Author lovesick1 Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 Bumpity bump, 100 views and no replies..
Divasu Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 It could be a combination of both. Whichever it is, she's not up for going out with you atm.
xdahliax Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I don't know what's wrong with her, her behaviour seems inconsistent. She basically blew you off but then feels like she has the right to feel upset when you mention other girls. I think she might like you a little bit, but not enough to actually pursue anything with you. Or she's just crazy. I think that you should tell her how you feel. When you tell her, ask her what she thinks about it. If she says that she's not interested, tell her that you understand and that you'll stop asking. If she leaves it at that, you have your answer. If she still gets upset and acts insane afterwards, you really need to distance yourself.
Author lovesick1 Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 I don't know what's wrong with her, her behaviour seems inconsistent. She basically blew you off but then feels like she has the right to feel upset when you mention other girls. I think she might like you a little bit, but not enough to actually pursue anything with you. Or she's just crazy. I think that you should tell her how you feel. When you tell her, ask her what she thinks about it. If she says that she's not interested, tell her that you understand and that you'll stop asking. If she leaves it at that, you have your answer. If she still gets upset and acts insane afterwards, you really need to distance yourself. I've been toying with just doing this. I feel i've already shown how I feel trying to ask her for drinks and dinner and what not, she's just sending mixed signals back. I want to ask her straight up if she has a bf/or just isn't interested. My sister thinks this will cause her to pull back more since the ball is already kinda in her court.
xdahliax Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I've been toying with just doing this. I feel i've already shown how I feel trying to ask her for drinks and dinner and what not, she's just sending mixed signals back. I want to ask her straight up if she has a bf/or just isn't interested. My sister thinks this will cause her to pull back more since the ball is already kinda in her court. It might cause her to pull back more, there is no doubt that she has already given more than enough hints for most people to give up. But you need to to what's best for you, and if you need closure to put an x on her then you should get it. Just be careful with how you go about it and there shouldn't be a problem. If she actually does like you, explicitly discussing the topic is not going to make a difference in how she perceives you.
Author lovesick1 Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 She is not that into you, dude. My roommate said the same thing . I am not used to getting rejected, I consider myself a very good looking person and I guess I was too proud to admit that might be the case
Author lovesick1 Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 No doubt it is an interesting topic but i have no words to sat about it because i cant understand it .Please share some proper information about it . How do you mean? I can try and simplify She agreed to get drinks with me a couple times but ended up flaking out saying something came up. She continued to flirt with me for a couple months. I asked her to dinner and all she said was maybe. She has come to study at my house and still flirts with me here, gets quiet if I mention other girls. And now she has begun calling me when she is stressed/nervous about something. Am I friendzoned? I dont know why I got there in the first place if I am unless she just was never genuinely attracted to me
integralForest Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 She's clearly not interested in anything more than friendship. In my experience, if a girl is interested on dating she won't shy away from attempts to advance the friendship to a relationship. Don't take it personally, even if she is single, you never know what other factors could be keeping her from wanting to date. People are complex! I would move on unless you're happy as keeping it a friendship and have no expectations of getting more.
Author lovesick1 Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 (edited) I hear what you guys are saying and I would have to say I agree 100% Except... Today I got a different perspective. I will refrain from copy pasting texts for fear of some way she actually comes across this thread...For the past few weeks I have just played like a friend and left it at that and she seems to like it because she talks to me more. But today I sent her a friendly invite text for a trip to the mall. We flirted some in which she called me cute, asked if I was thinking of her, and offered to go shopping with me next week when she was free. I ran those texts by my friend (girl) and she says she likes me otherwise she wouldnt flirt like that or offer to go out and shop with me. Thoughts? My thoughts are that she likes me as a friend but also is kind of interested, but not enough to make something of it Edited December 9, 2012 by lovesick1
NYC-BigKat Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 It could be a combination of both. Whichever it is, she's not up for going out with you atm. Girls are just so so confusing that it makes me so mad whenever I see them now that I just dont look anymore. I dont know how any guy gets a girlfriend these days 'cause most of us cant .
allenpo123 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 If I were sending out those mixed signals, it means 'I know you like me and I like you too, but just not as much as you. I might like you more, but now lets just see." When you mentioned you talked to a girl and she gets upset and closes up, she might mean "Hey.. I thought you liked me.. Why are you talking to this girl so much? But hey I shouldn't have a say in that because I'm not even sure I like you.. but still. Oh, I'll just act cool". I think you're in a grey place, and she's just not ready to leap in. She might have some doubts.
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