lonelywarrior Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I've been in some dates recently and some girls just tell me that "we didn't connect". I feel that maybe when I'm dating for more than one time with the same person I become calm and I don't have many questions to do and not too many to speak. From the girl also she doesn't say anything and becomes quiet. And that's why I feel there is no connection also. What can I do to improve this?
jcrew11 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 You can create of list of interesting things to talk about so you don't forget. Read a newspaper or other current events. Find out her interests. Do something exciting besides just dinner. Escalate to physical flirtation quicker during awkard silences. Try to sexualize or romanticize the date as quickly as possible to create some physical chemistry. Light touching, light hand holding, kisses on the neck. 1
newmoon Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 i'd suggest doing activities instead of going places where talking is the main thing. dinners, lunch, etc. can be bad for people who cannot keep up conversation or who feel the need to ask questions to kep things moving. instead, try going to an event/fair/activity that will engage you both and allow you to talk about the surroundings, people, etc. 1
GirlontheLam Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Are you a good storyteller? Do you sound enthusiastic when you speak?
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I've been in some dates recently and some girls just tell me that "we didn't connect". I feel that maybe when I'm dating for more than one time with the same person I become calm and I don't have many questions to do and not too many to speak. From the girl also she doesn't say anything and becomes quiet. And that's why I feel there is no connection also. What can I do to improve this? This is non-specific feedback and could mean just about anything. If it were date#1, yes take a lack of chemistry or connection at face value. But you're saying this happens after a couple of dates! What is different about your behavior on date #2 than date #1? For example, some guys don't attempt a kiss until a second date. In that case, it might be your kissing technique. We don't know you--how you dress, how you interact with others, etc. These could all be critical factors in the outcome you're experiencing. Talk to an older guy who knows you well and ask for advice on what you could do to improve your demeanor and behavior on a date, as well as your treatment of your date. Specifically, what you might be going that is turning off women. Your dad or an older male you're close to would be ideal. An older brother is also good. Quietness in and of itself is generally not the issue! So becoming a chatterbox wouldn't change much, especially since your date stops talking and becomes quiet herself. Something else may be contributing to the outcome. By the way most women don't volunteer a reason when they decline another date. How are you getting this feedback?
Author lonelywarrior Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 This is non-specific feedback and could mean just about anything. If it were date#1, yes take a lack of chemistry or connection at face value. But you're saying this happens after a couple of dates! What is different about your behavior on date #2 than date #1? For example, some guys don't attempt a kiss until a second date. In that case, it might be your kissing technique. We don't know you--how you dress, how you interact with others, etc. These could all be critical factors in the outcome you're experiencing. Talk to an older guy who knows you well and ask for advice on what you could do to improve your demeanor and behavior on a date, as well as your treatment of your date. Specifically, what you might be going that is turning off women. Your dad or an older male you're close to would be ideal. An older brother is also good. Quietness in and of itself is generally not the issue! So becoming a chatterbox wouldn't change much, especially since your date stops talking and becomes quiet herself. Something else may be contributing to the outcome. By the way most women don't volunteer a reason when they decline another date. How are you getting this feedback? The difference between #1 and #2 dates is that in the first date I ask things to know the person and on the second I think I know what I need so I have no more questions. About feedback, some of them give feedback. Depends on the person. And when they do not say anything I can look into their eyes and see what are they thinking
Author lonelywarrior Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 BTW I'm good looking, dress well and I'm quite happy most always smiling. Some times this positive attitude (smiling) is my killer on first dates. Are some women looking for someone sad because they are sad?? If that's the case I prefer to be happy and alone.
ScreamingTrees Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I think you should be more talkative, especially on the second date, that's nothing.. You can learn new things about a person every day, even if they're not major things, you can learn as they do, in the moment.. People are learning new things about themselves all of the time..
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