I want him back..i m

[23.confused]

Hi everyone, I've never posted here or anywhere before, so my post will be long and I really appreciate everyone who reads...ok so my boyfriend and I have been together for 6years wouldve been 7years in 11days... We have been in a long distant relationship for almost 3years now, because he enlisted in the army. We have made it work very well, every time he'd get some money saved up he would fly me to him when he had days off and all of our visits have always been so wonderful, we both cry from happiness when my plane arrives and cry from saddness when my plane leaves...we have both talked about how much our hearts have grown founder and deeper in love due to being apart. Before he left for the army in 2010 he told me that as soon as his 4years of service was up he promised me he wanted to marry me and really start of furture together, since by then ill have some schooling done and he'll be finished with the army. When he went off to basics, we both wrote letters to each other everyday. All his letters talked about how enlisting was a huge mistake, because he loved and missed me soo much. He started telling me that being gone helps him see more clearly about how important I am, and that he wanted to marry me as soon as he could cuz he cant wait intil he gets out and that as soon as he was done with ait and jumpimg out of airplane school he is moving me there to live with him. He told me that no matter what he will not loss me cuz I'm the love of his life. Well after 6months thoses schools wete done with but we didn't move me there...he said he wants to and will, but he just doesn't h

ave the money he thought he would. I was a lil sad but we were still so much in love taking on the phone evey night for hours, and we still got to see each other about every two months for a week long visit everytime. We still talked about marriage our furture together, he even told his mom about his feelings for me. well in oct of 2011 he made his first 8month deployment, and we were both feeling sad about not being able to see each other for 8 months or talk on the phone much, but thru emails, limited calls, and some txt msgs...WE MADE IT THRU OUR FIRST DEPLOYMENT!! He came home june 15 2012 and when we seen each other it was like all that time apart didn't matter, we where just as happy and loving as ever before! And a couple of months before he came home from deployment, we were for sure going to move me there to live with him before he deployed again, that's all he talked to me about! We were so excited about getting a place together! He said itll probably be aug before he would be able to find us a place because of his 0500 to 6pm everyday work schedule. So after he came home for two weeks after deployment he went back..and again our visit was great! Then he surprised me by flying me to see him after I just seen him a month ago! So I flew to north carolina and we went to wilmington, ralieghy and just had a blast for a week and a half! We talked so much again about future planning and how much he needs me forever, alot of pillow talk, then the morning my plane was going to leave he asked me to stay so we can try to find a place together right now, so I stayed an additional 3days and we didn't find anything cheap or close enough to post...so I flew back home. I was reallu upset because he had been telling me that I will live up there with him...so yea I was hurt, but we continued on and were still happy in love, calling every night and txting each other all day, until nov20th I called him upset cuz the past 2days he hadn't called me and only txt when he txt me first...so I called him crying and complaining that after almost 7years were not living together or anything that he has been saying and that I miss him so much..he said he misses me too and that he's sorry and so in the heat of the moment...i made things worst by saying,"if u really loved and missed me you would have me there with you"..and I hurt his feelings...but I was just so upset cuz I've been hearing that we are going to be living together soon and at that point it was too late to move me there cuz he's going to deploy again in january..but I was sad the opportunity had pasted...so afyer that night he didn't txt me intil I txt him the next morning..and we txt most of the day, then he just decided to stop txting that evening and didn't call, the next day I was really feeling confused, but he txt me first and said happy thanksgiving, so I replied, but in a kinda short way cuz I was upset again that he didn't call the night before..but we continued txting all day and into the night just regular taking no rudeness, but he still didn't call tho? So the next day he didn't txt me until I txt first again..and I asked him he loves me, and he said yes you know I do, but again we didn't talk much and no nightly call, so I called him and he answered, I asked him why he wasn't talking much, and he said he has just been thinking about stuff, I asked him if there was someone else and he said,"no"so we talked and laughed for a while, but then when we ended our conversation he didn't say I love you, just goodnight..and he is always the one to say it first.. But he was still calling me "baby, and honey"...again the next day was a repeat..i called him that night cuz he was being short with me and then he just went thru this rant of him saying that he loves me but he doesn't know how he feels so he hasn't felt like talking...i was crying and he was irratated, because of me crying, then he started saying that he's not sure anymore what he wants from us and that his is extremely stressed, financially, mentally, physically and emotionally... And that I'm always upset and he's tired of feeling like crap cuz he isn't want I want...so we got off the phone and he sent me a txt saying goodnight so I replied and he asked how I feel about us, and I said I've felt great about us and he replied "ok babe". I txt him the next day and we talked him still refering to me a dear, baby, and honey and he sent smiley faces...but he don't txt long and no calls...then yesterday he tells me he cant sleep cuz he keeps thinking about us and that he doesn't know how he feels..so I of course pledded with him and told him how much I love him and that he means everthing to me, and he said I love you too but not in the same way I did..and that he views me as more of his best friend..so I'm so heartbroken and don't understand where all this came from? We were just talking a week before this all started that he cant wait to get out of army and start school and for me and him to get a place together and to go on a lil trip..he was sending me pics of dogs to see which ones I liked, since it would be ours...PLEASE HELP!! I don't know what to do..I'm so confused and I want us back...i miss talking to him...he is my best friend but also so much more...thank you for reading..sorry its so long

Edited December 7, 2012 by 23.confused