jags2bowl27 Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Im a new poster and I feel as if not im addicted to seeing everyone elses problems. So many people are in the same boat but at the same time, now I am thinking about my situation with my ex a lot more. What is your guys take on this. I just dont want to set myself back
suladas Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 For a bit I think it set me back, because reading others threads made me think about my ex more. But then I started visiting the entire forum and this section less. Now coming to this section don't bother me at all. It's your call, tough to say what it will do.
Simon Phoenix Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Makes me feel better about my situation. I mean sometimes I'll read stuff and think about my situation more than I would have otherwise, but usually it helps me to know that my situation could be worse and that I'm making progress. And if I can help others get past the garbage they are in, then that's awesome too.
KatZee Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I actually enjoy coming on here to help people, not just to vent about my crappy ex. I actually just realized this past weekend that I didn't think about my ex at all... and that was because for the most part, I stayed off LS. LS def makes me think of him on a daily basis because I'm constantly comparing my situation to others here so it's inevitable that I'm going to think about him. I do notice if I'm not on here, I go periods of time where he doesn't cross my mind. If you want to try to forget her, maybe you should stay off the boards. I personally don't feel anything when I think of my ex so it's not a problem, but if it pains you to remember or continue dwelling, don't stick around. 1
Pinky777 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I think it's so beneficial in the beginning when you want just want to find other people who are going through the same thing as you are, get some support, get your story out there, and I like to lend support to others. But ultimatley, every time you come on LS you're thinking, talking, relaying stories about...your EX. It's beneficial in some ways because maybe it helps you to think a different way about them and get advice/outside perspective, and helps a lot of people but you're still thinking about them. I remember when I was quitting smoking, I visited an online quit forum. I got addicted the forum during my quit, and the online support helped tremendously. But what was everyone talking about? Smoking. Cigarettes. Day in and day out. How are you supposed to quit if you're talking about smoking all the time? After while you just need to get away from it.
D-Lish Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I think it helps initially to sort through your thoughts and feelings, to get some perspective on the situation- but at some point it can prove to be counter-productive to the healing process. There comes a time when you have to take responsibility for your own healing and I believe from past experience that getting out and being present in the world is a step you have to take in order to reach the light at the end of the healing tunnel. It gets comfortable hiding behind a keyboard- and I think it's easy to remain stuck in that mode because it keeps you feeling safe. You do have to face the world at some point again - and that involves stepping away from the computer and facing your life. 2
ReadMyThread Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I always thought about this too. I feel it doesn't set me back. You guys are the only people I have to talk to. Therefore I talk to you guys while time takes it role in healing me. Although I do sometimes read some things I wish I hadn't that remind me of what happened but the more it comes up the less it hurts so I like it here. I mean who wouldn't? Everyone helps everyone. We all love each other its so sweet awe. Lol.
carhill Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Welcome to LS. For myself, LS was clarity/reality check adjunct to professional marital counseling. It indeed helped with the 'healing' process. Good luck in your journey.
JamesM Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Welcome to LS! You can always check in...but never leave. I do find that it helps me. I vent about my marriage and get feedback. Some can be harsh, but much is helpful. It has been seven years since I joined, and I somehow feel a part of the lives of many people here. I did take a year break, but always wondered what was happening to some posters. When I came back, I checked up on them. So does it help ME? Yes. Is that all I get out of it? No, I like to think that some of my posts do give some help to others, or may make them think. I also enjoy getting into discussions with posters and give them an alternate viewpoint. I try to do it respectfully. Hopefully, they can leave with a more rounded opinion. Personally, I stay away from the religion board as it can be a waste of time. If you came here to get help and healing, then I think you will. The caveat is that you must know when to quit posting about your problem. If you keep posting and dwelling on the problem, then IMO it stays a problem. If you take away some solutions from others and then move on, you will succeed. After joining a couple of boards, I found LS. While I forgot the names of the other boards, LS has become a part of my life.
Suziee Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I wish I had found LS 3 yrs ago when I was going through the break-up of a two year relationship. I was crushed but I couldn't burden my woes to my friends who thought highly of me as a strong, independent person that they go to for advice and support. I guess I was afraid of appearing weak and helpless to them. I'm now going through another break-up and I'm so thankful to have found LS. I even registered and, as my first post, I just want to thank those who go out of their way to share their experiences and give support, at the expense of opening old wounds and reliving the pain. I know (I think) what I have to do (NC, take care of myself, etc.) but that's easier said than done. There's something about reading what other people are going through that helps ease the pain, somewhat.
Love Bytes Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 It's helped me out tremendously. They say misery loves company, and it's true. It was good to know that I'm normal, and other people feel the same way. Sounds bad, but it is what it is.
LostOne1 Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 For me it helps out.. lets you vent out everything inside of you that jsut bugs you. it lets you help other people, who are going through a BU. We all know how it feels and can relate and help. We all wanted some help at some point and its only fair to help other people too. I like to hear about someone else going through something similar as me. Lets me know I'm not alone in this world fighting through it all myself. That someone else out there is struggling as hard as me. And I find you LEARN a lot from LS.
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