angelofdarkness Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Me: Grew up in a very strict household; couldn't sleep over anybody's house, couldn't come home late, and mother stressed the only way out of the house is through marriage. I obeyed these rules for many years. I still don't know why, out of respect, I guess, but it put a damper on my independence and social life. Him: Was married for almost 20 years to a lazy wife who didn't work, clean the house, or watch their 4 young kids. He admits he wasn't the greatest husband either and that contributed to their eventual divorce, but since he was burned from it has stated that he never wants to marry again. Us: We met 7 years ago. Been together ever since. When we met he told me he didn't want to get married or have anymore children. So, 7 years later, we are not married and we do not have kids. He hasn't ever asked me to move in with him either. He lives in a small apt and has a roommate so there just isn't any place for me or my things. The trouble is: I think after all this time, I'm getting frustrated, bored, and a bit resentful. We don't do much together anymore. He falls asleep so early, he drinks too much beer. We don't have sex. And when we do, I'm not into it. We hang out with his kids every weekend. When he and I go away somewhere, I'm always the driver cause he hates to drive. Nothing is romantic or passionate. There are days when I ask myself, "is this it?" Sometimes I think he's just happy to have me as a companion rather than a proper wife or mother to any of his future children. Our relationship is based on my boyfriend's terms and not mine. I can't have any terms because I don't have any responsibilities or obligations like he does. Part of me doesn't want to waste anymore time. I tell myself to break it off, date a couple of guys, live alone, be independent, and eventually I'll settle down, find a guy my own age who will look forward to marrying me and having children with me. Part of me doesn't want to do that since I believe my bf is the only one who gets me, and I just have to make compromises if I really love him. But again, it'll be on his terms, not mine. I took a TEFL course to teach English abroad like in South America or Asia. There are days I just want to pack it all up and go. Life is meant to be lived, and again, I've got no obligations or responsibilities, but abandoning my boyfriend and never speaking or seeing him again makes me stop and stay and tell myself...this is it...this is what life is about...I don't know...did anyone else ever go through this?
GuyInLimbo Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Well, you already know what to do. That's pretty clear. If he was the only guy who "got you" you wouldn't be so miserable. There are plenty others out there who will "get you" and excite you. Stop wasting time. Move on and find your happiness. You ask "Is this it?" Hell no, it's not.
SuperGeek Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 (edited) OP, Time to start moving on with your life. Take the situation into your own hands and end the relaionship/divorce and find someone else. or you could just keep living the same frurstrating existtance you have been doing . File the D and head to Argentina! Ca'nt tell you how great of a country that is! You'll be forgetting about your ex pretty fast with the men in Argentina SuperGeek Edited December 7, 2012 by SuperGeek
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