lucy3163 Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 I had been seeing a guy for a year and a half. I am 22 and he is in his upper 40's. Obviously nothing serious could come of it, but I fell for him. We were never officially in a relationship, but acted like in.. it a secretive way. Things started getting rocky about 6 months ago, and I felt like it was ALWAYS ME making the effort to see him. 3 months ago he stopped calling me. He said he was having emotional problems and did not want to talk to anyone and it had nothing to do with me specifically. During that time period we continued to have sex. That changed last month. He started making excuses that he was busy, etc. I straight up said to him that I think he's lying and he just doesn't want to see me anymore, so can he just admit it?? He would not admit it. He said, he would have sex with me "if he could". He gave me no reason at all as to why he can no longer have sex with me, or call me. He said "I'm not saying never, but right now I can't" Since I am always the one contacting him, I have stopped. It has been 2 weeks now since we made any contact. I see him all the time, and cannot escape reminders of him. I know by now he has to have noticed that I haven't tried contacting him, but I wonder if this is really what he wanted. I feel like he's the lucky one in the situation, considering I'm half his age... but I'm the one who fell so much harder. My question is, do you guys think there really could be an emotional problem he's dealing with, or was that just an excuse to end it? I feel like if he really wanted it over he would just tell me honestly, not make excuses. But it has been 2 weeks now and I don't know if I should move on or continue hoping that HE for once will contact me.
NavyAirTraffic Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 I had been seeing a guy for a year and a half. I am 22 and he is in his upper 40's. Obviously nothing serious could come of it, but I fell for him. We were never officially in a relationship, but acted like in.. it a secretive way. 3 months ago he stopped calling me. He said he was having emotional problems You must have REALLY low self esteem? Dating an upper 40yr old man with emotional problems... Do you really think you can't do better? He gave me no reason at all as to why he can no longer have sex with me, or call me. He said "I'm not saying never, but right now I can't" It's because he's having sex with someone else or no longer interested in you. Either reason should be good enough of a reason to never talk to him again.
suladas Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 It should be a good reason to move on. If you can't see a future, or even act like it was a real relationship, it's better to just move on. How could things ever work with someone that much older anyways? Doesn't matter what his issue is, you're much better off finding someone else.
Author lucy3163 Posted December 6, 2012 Author Posted December 6, 2012 Well maybe I do have low self esteem but that has nothing to do with why I was seeing an older man. I fell for him. He's ridiculously good looking and was always caring and nice and we got along well with each other. And he said he was not having sex with someone else. He just said he "can't" right now. I just don't know if there actually IS something going on with him that he won't talk to me about, or if he just doesn't want to be with me anymore. I just want him to contact me.. and I'm hoping he will
Author lucy3163 Posted December 6, 2012 Author Posted December 6, 2012 You're right. I know I'm being stupid. I don't know why I fell for him and the fake relationship in the first place, or why I can't get over him now. I 'm just holding on to the hope that he'll come back and in the meantime it's hard to move on to someone else when I only want him.
suladas Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Ya it's tough if you fell for him. But can you honestly see a future there anyways? Let's say in 20 years you're barely 40, he would be what almost 70 and may need to be taken care of or in a retirement home. Just doesn't make sense. Better for it to of ended now, then years later. You're young, plenty of time to find someone else
veggirl Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 hmm maybe his Rx for his viagra ran out and he hasn't refilled it. are you sure he is not married or something? maybe his wife found out.
Author lucy3163 Posted December 6, 2012 Author Posted December 6, 2012 hmm maybe his Rx for his viagra ran out and he hasn't refilled it. are you sure he is not married or something? maybe his wife found out. Lol. Seriously?!? I don't think he takes that.. never has had problems along those lines before. He doesn't believe in marriage! He's definitely not married! :/
Author lucy3163 Posted December 6, 2012 Author Posted December 6, 2012 So basically no one believes that there could be an actual problem with him right now and that he won't come back right? I should just stop hoping and move on?
NavyAirTraffic Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 So basically no one believes that there could be an actual problem with him right now and that he won't come back right? I should just stop hoping and move on? Move on from what? From what you explained (no official relationship, nothing serious could come of it) this sounds like a friends with benefits situation.
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