Shaunashoe Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 My parents.. I KNOW they don't think that my relationship is real. I've been with my boyfriend for a year and a bit now, and we've met plenty of times. We talk every day, and it's like a real relationship, we just don't SEE each other all the time... My parents, they don't act as if he's really my boyfriend, they just act like someone I know. My mum doesn't see him as family, she said so herself, and I was incredibly hurt, because his mum see's me as family, and my mum after meeting my brothers girlfriend treated her like her own daughter. (they wasn't long distance, they was normal) and I just hate how she makes me feel about it. When I told her, one of the first things she said was that long distance doesn't usually work. But we're working, aren't we? I don't understand why she can't accept it, and act like he's family.. It really hurts me. :/
bluegreen Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Some people will act like that just because they have real reason to some from jealousy some from ignorance and some just plain won't care. I know exactly how you feel because my now ex bf family was like that he would talk to me call me or I him and they would pretend that he was doing "nothing". It really used to upset me and make me feel like s... his friends reacted more or less same way and as for my side of friends and family I heard it all from serial killer to psycho path just waiting to pounce on me and rape me. Am being bit to open and harsh but its how it was so I learned to keep my mouth shut and mind my own business once you get engaged or he or you moves closer then start talking about it. Trust me you will save yourself a lot of grief that way been there done that ... 1
justwhoiam Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 one of the first things she said was that long distance doesn't usually work. But we're working, aren't we? I don't understand why she can't accept it, and act like he's family.. It really hurts me. :/ Hear this: parents get hurt too. Yes, when things go wrong, and the gf or bf has been around for quite some time (years) and they treated him/her like family, they get hurt and sometimes it's even hard to handle the situation right. That regardless of whether the relationship was long distance or not. Your mother is just watching and seeing how it goes... give it some time. In 6 months it could be over between you two. She's not rowing against you, she's just handling it with care. Parents should not get attached to every single person you date. They should when they see the other person like a steady relationship. So don't judge her. Be patient and see how it goes.
AngrySpider Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Wow.This kind of sounds remarkably like my situation. Although I've received some support from family/friends about the LDR that I'm in,I've also got people who say that what my girlfriend and I have isn't a "real" relationship. This is when I'm forced to rely upon logic to make an argument in defence of my relationship. Most people think that a "real" relationship is one where the element of physical touch is present.And though it's important to be able to have that type of contact with your sweetheart,it doesn't mean that even then a relationship is "real." I usually ask people if they think that lying/cheating makes a "real" relationship-even if both parties involved see and touch each other regularly-and they often say "no." Checkmate. As long as the love is there,the connection is strong,and the chemistry exists between two people...that's what I would call a "real" relationship,even if you can't see each other all the time. I was once skeptical about long-distance relationships and felt that they weren't often successful.Then my girlfriend and I started talking and it was better than any local relationship that I had been in.I got lied to and cheated on so much by local women that I was now willing to venture outside of my own country (I'm in Canada,she's in the UK) to find what I've spent literally half of my life looking for....a real relationship.I've got my doubters and critics and my own mom gives me very little in the way of support and encouragement.Most of the time,she doesn't even want to hear about my girlfriend.It's like "Thanks,I really appreciate that I can't talk about someone that is very important to me." She wants me to find someone local,to which I tell her that I won't date local girls now because of what I've been through.Funny how she throws all of my ex-girlfriends in my face when I tell her that she doesn't like any of the girls that I've been with.She pretty much validates what I have said about local girls in the first place.But that's my story... Skeptics of LDRs tend to focus more on the worst-case scenarios or failures that they've heard about with such relationships.They never seem to think about the many couples who are married and happy whom once were thousands of miles apart and using the Internet to carry on with their relationships.Just do what makes you happy and what makes your long-distance relationship a success story Love doesn't know borders or mileage.It just happens between people.And when it comes to love..there's no emotion of feeling in this universe that is more powerful or "real." All the best.
bluegreen Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Not only your situation dear : )) trust me we ALL been there one way or another ....
umirano Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 Love doesn't know borders or mileage.It just happens between people.And when it comes to love..there's no emotion of feeling in this universe that is more powerful or "real." A lot of people ignore this. No one takes a rational decision when getting into an LDR. You just get into a relationship. Once you face this situation, you need support from your family and all your wit to make it work, like in any other challenging life situation. 1
Recommended Posts