Rekerdz Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 I broke up with my ex 5 months ago, 3 months after the break up i told her i want her back and that I still have feelings for her so we started talking again for a week or so but then we fought and I upset her. She then tells me she wants space and that she's really hurt. She doesn't think about us right now yet she tells me she still cares about me and when she sees me she remembers us and stuff in a nice way. But she said that maybe the idea of us being together isn't on her mind because shes pissed at what i did as in hurting her and stuff so yea it sucks for me because i really do love her. Also she doesn't know whether she will forgive me or not she can't really make up her mind since it's been a month since our fight. Through this whole month i've been trying to win her back explained what i did wrong apologized and all of that it was just hard cz she seems cold and stuff. She tells me she feels weird when we talk cz she hates herself when shes nice to me after wat i did to her. So I agreed on giving her space till she feels a bit normal towards me and can talk again so what do you guys think? is this whole space thing would actually help her heal and maybe things would work out later on?
flitzanu Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 I broke up with my ex 5 months ago, 3 months after the break up i told her i want her back and that I still have feelings for her so we started talking again for a week or so but then we fought and I upset her. She then tells me she wants space and that she's really hurt. She doesn't think about us right now yet she tells me she still cares about me and when she sees me she remembers us and stuff in a nice way. But she said that maybe the idea of us being together isn't on her mind because shes pissed at what i did as in hurting her and stuff so yea it sucks for me because i really do love her. Also she doesn't know whether she will forgive me or not she can't really make up her mind since it's been a month since our fight. Through this whole month i've been trying to win her back explained what i did wrong apologized and all of that it was just hard cz she seems cold and stuff. She tells me she feels weird when we talk cz she hates herself when shes nice to me after wat i did to her. So I agreed on giving her space till she feels a bit normal towards me and can talk again so what do you guys think? is this whole space thing would actually help her heal and maybe things would work out later on? "i want space" = "i don't want to be with you anymore" very simple. you hurt her, she doesn't want to be with you, and space isn't going to change that. also apologizing and changing overnight isn't going to convince her you've "changed" either.
A.S Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 may i ask why did u break up with her in the first place if you really loved her? and well ya it might work out,you need to try harder when shes back and show her that you deserve her trust again..
Author Rekerdz Posted December 6, 2012 Author Posted December 6, 2012 may i ask why did u break up with her in the first place if you really loved her? and well ya it might work out,you need to try harder when shes back and show her that you deserve her trust again.. I just felt that i needed space nd ended up breaking up with her then i realised that i made a big mistake i always do that with every girl i date but this time it feels wrong and i really want to fix it
Author Rekerdz Posted December 6, 2012 Author Posted December 6, 2012 "i want space" = "i don't want to be with you anymore" very simple. you hurt her, she doesn't want to be with you, and space isn't going to change that. also apologizing and changing overnight isn't going to convince her you've "changed" either. i dnt know man sometimes space does heal it doesn't always mean a bad thing especially since she still not over me and maybe with time like a month not more she'll start missing being with me or maybe not but im gona wait and see it just doesn't end like that it was a 2 years relationship watev i am giving her space either ways 1
flitzanu Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 i dnt know man sometimes space does heal it doesn't always mean a bad thing especially since she still not over me and maybe with time like a month not more she'll start missing being with me or maybe not but im gona wait and see it just doesn't end like that it was a 2 years relationship watev i am giving her space either ways you said it's 5 months after the breakup, what is waiting a month going to do now, wouldn't she already have missed you in the last 5 months? i hope you prove me wrong, but "i want space" is always "i don't want to be with you", and very often means "i am, or want to see other people". 1
TaraMaiden Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 OP, your breaking up isn't the problem, necessarily. Why you self-sabotage every relationship you're in, is. If you do this with 'every girl you date', then you need to find out why you're a commitment-phobe, and why you deliberately push potential long-term contentment away. This would be the ideal time so seek therapy. If you've lost this one (and I'm afraid you have, face it....) then you need to implement a damage limitation programme to prevent you from becoming that lonely guy so often misnamed 'a player'..... 1
Author Rekerdz Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 you said it's 5 months after the breakup, what is waiting a month going to do now, wouldn't she already have missed you in the last 5 months? i hope you prove me wrong, but "i want space" is always "i don't want to be with you", and very often means "i am, or want to see other people". i told her to tell me stratigh to my face even if she thinks it'll hurt plus she has enough good reason to hurt me after wat i did to her so why isn't she telling me that we each need to go our seperate ways?
Author Rekerdz Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 OP, your breaking up isn't the problem, necessarily. Why you self-sabotage every relationship you're in, is. If you do this with 'every girl you date', then you need to find out why you're a commitment-phobe, and why you deliberately push potential long-term contentment away. This would be the ideal time so seek therapy. If you've lost this one (and I'm afraid you have, face it....) then you need to implement a damage limitation programme to prevent you from becoming that lonely guy so often misnamed 'a player'..... ok i understand i need to work on myself that's my problem but i don't understand why we're going in circles and just tell me the truth like i did to her when i ended it, she should tell me it's over i already hurt her she can do the same to me
Author Rekerdz Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 also today she sent me a message telling me my dj mix ( i am a dj) is really good and she tells me to send her a link so she can download it i know it sounds like shes trying to be friends but i told her already 5 days ago let's be friends at least and she said she's not ready to be friends. She said she wants space why is she giving me compliment about something i did and then asking me to send it to her she should've just kept it to herself and not say anything.
Author Rekerdz Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 you said it's 5 months after the breakup, what is waiting a month going to do now, wouldn't she already have missed you in the last 5 months? i hope you prove me wrong, but "i want space" is always "i don't want to be with you", and very often means "i am, or want to see other people". plus she did tell me 3 weeks ago after everything ive doneto her that she missed me so much and we were good for another week till the fight and i think as soon as i started running after her she starting taking advantage of that so i think that's what shes doing what shes doing cz to be honest she really was obessed with me and it cant really disappear in two to 3 weeks she's either teaching me a lesson or actually really thinking it over and really deciding if shes willing to give me another chance or not its completely normal she has all right to do so
na49 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 When a girl says they miss you it doesn't mean anything and it definitely doesn't mean they want you back. It is completely up to her, so don't try to change her mind. If she wants you back, she knows how to contact you and find you. 5 months seems like a long time, I'd start moving on. If you know you have problems with relationships then I would work on that so you don't have these problems again.
Author Rekerdz Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 When a girl says they miss you it doesn't mean anything and it definitely doesn't mean they want you back. It is completely up to her, so don't try to change her mind. If she wants you back, she knows how to contact you and find you. 5 months seems like a long time, I'd start moving on. If you know you have problems with relationships then I would work on that so you don't have these problems again. yea i won't change her mind or anything i leave it up to her but i still don't understand why she doesn't just tell me we need to go our separate ways?
na49 Posted December 9, 2012 Posted December 9, 2012 yea i won't change her mind or anything i leave it up to her but i still don't understand why she doesn't just tell me we need to go our separate ways? She shouldn't have to tell you. Figure it out for yourself. I don't think any of our exes have told us "we need to go our separate ways" exactly, but it's pretty much implied that after the BU they pretty much don't want you around anymore and if they do it's for their own ego boost and to feel better (aka being "friends") In your case, she's hurt that you dumped her. Being dumped sucks. Respect her decision and try to stop analyzing everything she does. It doesn't mean anything.
Author Rekerdz Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 She shouldn't have to tell you. Figure it out for yourself. I don't think any of our exes have told us "we need to go our separate ways" exactly, but it's pretty much implied that after the BU they pretty much don't want you around anymore and if they do it's for their own ego boost and to feel better (aka being "friends") In your case, she's hurt that you dumped her. Being dumped sucks. Respect her decision and try to stop analyzing everything she does. It doesn't mean anything. i'll try to move on its hard plus there's nothing more i can do i really just wanted to know what is she thinking right now but watev i'll live with this mistake. i hope i do move on i've never been hurt before by anyone so have no idea how this is gona be like but so far it's worst feeling ever
flitzanu Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 also today she sent me a message telling me my dj mix ( i am a dj) is really good and she tells me to send her a link so she can download it i know it sounds like shes trying to be friends but i told her already 5 days ago let's be friends at least and she said she's not ready to be friends. She said she wants space why is she giving me compliment about something i did and then asking me to send it to her she should've just kept it to herself and not say anything. and how/why did she get this DJ Mix that she's complimenting?
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