flyerman5 Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Do you have a special someone in your life that you met at the complete wrong time? Ok let me start from the beginning. Way back in Feb/March, my girl friend and I broke up after 4 years. We have a kid together, and due to extenuating circumstances, neither one of us can move out on our own. I wouldn't feel right kicking her out with our daughter until she got on her feet. About two months afterward, at work I started working a new dept where I met this girl who had just started working there herself not long before. I had somewhat of an instant attraction to her and thought she was very sweet and caring. She noticed me too and talked to me a lot more than anyone else, and we began to flirt with each other. At first I thought it was just puppy love, so I thought not much of it. Then she mentioned to me about some other guy she liked, so when I felt saddened to hear that I realized I really liked her. Meanwhile my ex was trying to patch things up, but it all fell thru and that's when it occured to me that our turmoltuous relationship was indeed over. So another couple months went by and the girl i worked with asked if i wanted to hang out sometime. I enthusiastically agreed and we hung out a couple of times with my best friend, and each time me and the girl flirted like crazy. One night, in July, she texted me and told me she thought i was an awesome guy and that we should be a couple, which i agreed to her delight. She told me that even tho i still lived with my ex, she would look past it because she liked me so much. Over the next few months we dated and i never felt as close to someone as i did her. I loved spending time with her and we texted each other EVERYDAY. The relationship was very intimate and I knew not only was she my girlfriend but my best friend. I got along with her parents great and the rest of her family, and she adored my daughter. However, by late september, she broke up with me. She had told me serveral times before that me still living with my ex was just too hard on her and she felt like she was "sharing" me. I was completely heartbroken and we didn't talk at all the next day at work. The next day she texted me and told me she didn't want to lose me as a friend, and i agreed and we started talking again. It was almost like we never broke up because we would still text each other every day and we hung out as "friends", and continued to be somewhat intimate, like a friends with benefits thing. However, to my utter devastation, a few days ago she told me that someone asked her out, and that she accepted. I told her i understood her need to move on, cuz my situation wasn't changing. We haven't spoken since. And now i have never felt so depressed in all my life. The sadness I'm feeling is overwhelming, I don't eat hardly and all i can do is think of her. We didn't break up because we lost interest or were always fighting or had grown apart; we broke up because of my living situation. I feel like our relationship ended on a technicality. Our relationship only lasted a few months but i feel as if i've lost someone i've been with for many years. I feel like i've lost my soul mate. i've never felt this bad or heartbroken over any exgirlfriend before. she brought me so much joy and happiness that it will take a very long time for me to get over this. i just want to text her, just to know she's there but i can't. I don't know what to do now. I want to believe that we can get back together, but knowing she is moving on and im stuck where i am for the time being ii might never happen, and it kills me. I'm so depressed I don't know what to do.
flitzanu Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 you stop living with your ex girlfriend, that's your solution. how do you expect to maintain a healthy relationship with a girl you can't even take home?
Author flyerman5 Posted December 6, 2012 Author Posted December 6, 2012 i didn't elaborate much on why i still live with my ex, so i'll explain. we still live together basically because I have no money to move out on my own. she is in school full time and will complete her program in 4-5 months, and only works two days a week. If i move out, she will have to quit school and go back to work a full time(if they'll even give her full time status back) 10 dollar an hour job. What it boils down to is that if i leave i'll be hurting my daughter because her mom wouldn't be able to finish school and get a much better nursing job, and probably would have to live off the government in a bleak environment. It's basically a sacrifice Im giving my daughter. There's a part of me thinking that i should've never gotten into a relationship given the circumstances. But i have no regrets in doing so because the way i look at it i have the right to have a life.
flitzanu Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 as callous as it sounds, that's still an excuse. i respect you caring about your child, don't get me wrong, but your life is indefinitely on hold until you're out of that situation. either it will be an issue of trusting you NOT to still be sleeping with your ex, or simply that you're truly unavailable while you are still there.
Author flyerman5 Posted December 6, 2012 Author Posted December 6, 2012 yeah, unfortunately you're right. it's very difficult to imagine leaving her, alone with our daughter until she's evicted. I guess it's the guilt because i've always wanted to be a good father, both directly and indirectly. for me i'd feel selfish if i left. i already kinda feel selfish for getting into a relationship with someone i really liked even tho it was very bad timing. but at the end of the day it really is my life that gets screwed
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