surfer67 Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Some guys are really into PDA with their girls but others are not, especially in front of their friends. I am with this guy, not technically dating but basically are, we are exclusive and have been intimate etc. But we dont ever hold hands walking in public. We sometimes do with his friends around when were just hanging out but once they leave hes all over me. I dont want to make anyone uncomfortable when were together so I kind of understand but Im just curious what else he could be thinking.
LittlePrince Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Some guys are really into PDA with their girls but others are not, especially in front of their friends. I am with this guy, not technically dating but basically are, we are exclusive and have been intimate etc. But we dont ever hold hands walking in public. We sometimes do with his friends around when were just hanging out but once they leave hes all over me. I dont want to make anyone uncomfortable when were together so I kind of understand but Im just curious what else he could be thinking. Someone wants to put on a little show for his friends
carhill Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 IME, 'why' is either cultural, religious or FOO. It took a number of years as an young adult/adult to unwind the conservative expressions of affection which were customary in my FOO. There was a definite delineation of such expression between private and public. My style was naturally more expressive but it felt 'wrong' due to socialization so took some work to undo the mental conditioning. If the man in question is much more affectionate privately, the above could be one explanation. Another is that he could be concerned with appearances and doesn't wish to show too much 'public' interest in the lady. His reasons for that are known only to him.
somedude81 Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Avoid PDA? I'd screw a girl in public if she'd let me.
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Some guys are really into PDA with their girls but others are not, especially in front of their friends. I am with this guy, not technically dating but basically are, we are exclusive and have been intimate etc. But we dont ever hold hands walking in public. We sometimes do with his friends around when were just hanging out but once they leave hes all over me. I dont want to make anyone uncomfortable when were together so I kind of understand but Im just curious what else he could be thinking. Agree with the other posters, but there is also another angle... Not technically dating, but you're intimate? What does that mean? FWB? Something else? What does exclusive mean in your situation? Exclusive sexually...but free to date others since you aren't technically dating each other? If you aren't actually dating, it's possible he doesn't want to appear attached or seriously involved with you, in certain situations, in case that gets misinterpreted as he's dating you (which he isn't) and therefore unavailable to date others. Only he knows his reasons. You'll have to ask him.
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 He's not with you, you're not his girlfriend or someone who he feels he's dating...just someone he is having sex and fun with, and you've both agreed to exclusivity....well he probably agreed because he had to or wanted to lock you in without worrying about another man, a possessive type thing but if he hooked up w someone else when the opportunity came, what rules would he really be breaking? that he hooked up with someone else that he had exclusivity with that he's not dating or in a relationship with? what can you do? slap him on the wrist? So the agreement you have with him, in order to have sex...is not the agreement or reality for him outside of that, you're just kind of...there. If he feels like being all over you when his friends are gone because nobody else knows him, then he's worried about what his friends will think and whether they'll think he's really into you (which he probably tells them he's not, you're just someone he has sex with). If he's not dating you, and you're not his girlfriend, then what do you think you are? you're a FWB, and if was into you more than that then you'd he'd be in a relationship with you but he's not...there's no reason to date, and no he's not going to change his mind and see you as relationship material, guys already determined that a long time ago, he's just using you for the meantime. 2
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