Locust Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 I'm a 26 year old student at a university there is plenty of girls but there are too many issue I don't think I can overcome. First one is there are girls I see on campus by themselves so tempting to talk them but I fear nervous like I'm bothering her or she may already have a boyfriend. It seems most girls I meet a already have a boyfriend. Sometime when I'm waiting for the light rail and I have a girl sit to me she looks kind of cute and want to talk to her but what I do is have my i pod on over my ears. I have my i pod on a lot. Second reason is I feel that being a mixture of Indian (and I'm not from India I was born here as well my parents) and I feel American girls will not be interested in dating a Indian guy because I don't see much American people going out with Indian people. Third is I feel that I cannot keep a conversation I actually found out I can. I meet girls but it always turn out being friends. I hope the girl would make the first because I will more confident that she likes me so I know I have a good chance with her. However, this has not happen. I feel that years are passing by and still cannot have a normal life where I can date women. Most people I know have relationship or had past relationship before. So as the years go by I feel more and more frustrated that I cannot have intimate relationship with any girl. I recently started consider hiring a escort. I know its bad and illegal and risky of catching a STD but I feel this is the only way for me to get intimate. I know it will only be just sex and nothing else. I never planned ever in my life I would ever go to a escort but you just never know what can happen in life. I wish I can have a normal sexual relationship and not pay $ 300.00, but this world is not leaving me much choice. inside me I feel that every girl will find me unattractive since I never was able to get a date. I feel as I get older it will get harder because I never dated a girl and I don't know what to do on a date with a girl. I believe this gut feeling I will be going to a escort in January next year when I get extra cash, I just cannot hold my urge to be intimate with a girl any longer.
ascendotum Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 (edited) You know what wouldn't be a bad idea for some dude with links to an escort agency (or even a guy who just knows a lot of slutty girls who want more $ and have a benevolent streak) to set himself up as a date coach like in the movie Hitch, but charge guys $500 for a couple of intensive 'how to pickup chicks guaranteed' lessons. Then take the guy out to a club for a field trip where he has one of his escort/promiscuous friends already there as a plant. After the 'cant get any action' guy struggles with a couple of random club girls, the coach directs the student over to his escort friend who is just hanging out at the club waiting to meet friends, but this time the student's attempts to get a conversation going actually start to work. The girl is responding really well to the student, laughs at everything he says, gets all touchy feeley, says how she cant stand the typical cocky playas and likes shy guys, likes the same things he likes so she feels this connection, tells him its her horny time of the month and its been ages since she had sex, and well...what do say we go out to the carpark..wink wink. Shimsalhaboom, the guy's self confidence + his self esteem sky rocket, thanks to the placebo effect. He thinks he's a new man, the future now looks so much brighter. The girl who is a plant can actually give him some in action guidance as well so the student wont be such a newbie with the next woman. I know this doesn't help you OP. For you.... don't limit your prospects by ignoring your fellow dark skinned girls if you are approaching a spot with girls, ditch your ipod. you need to read up on the www for good small talk topics. try get involved in some campus activity groups or teams...like the orienteering group girls wont know if you are no good with women, regardless of if you visit an escort or not, unless you think it will stop making you so anxious maybe. Edited December 6, 2012 by ascendotum
Later82012 Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 What you needed was a set of parents that were proud to be of Indian origin, what you need now is a different social circle and a different line of thinking. Too bad you cannot buy any of these. The easiest option seems to me for you is to buy the services of an escort every time you have 300 dollars. Good choice. If you read your post again carefully you will find out that you are the one that is keeping yourself from finding a date. If you want something you have to go and take it. You will have to make an effort. If you go through any dating forum on the net or talk to your friends from other ethnicities you'd be surprised to find out that a majority of them are having a tough time as well.
Ami1uwant Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Actually if you think about dating it really is much more cost efficient to date an escort. Your goal in sex. If you assume each date costs you on avg $150 for time used and date cost..you don't get any till date 4 then it will costs you $600 up front. Sex isn't certain because you may go on one or two dates and it's done without sex so no return on investment.
Author Locust Posted December 6, 2012 Author Posted December 6, 2012 That is my issue I just can't approach girls and I think its because I feel I will get rejected before I had actually tried. I had tried with Chinese girls only and maybe I need to widen my variety. So why I don't try American girls? Well I think American girls will think I'm boring. However, when I talk to American girls I seem to talk with them well and even Mexican women too. I guess I'm too scared to make the first move. For example, if your om campus you walking by and you see this cute girl sitting at a table by herself what would you do? I think most men would try talking to her but I don't have the courage to do so because of the whole feeling awkward or creepy to a girl stand point of view. Make some girls/women can reply to this post with tips for me of what I can do get a successful. Even it doesn't turn out what I intended the idea is make me feel better that I'm a datable guy and can have a relationship but right now I feel I cannot because I never had a date.
KungFuJoe Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 You're thinking too much and trying to hard. If I walk by and see a cute girl sitting at a table...I don't automatically come up and sit down next to her and start talking. I see a lot of confused young people act this way. It's like your whole life revolves around getting girls. That is the absolute wrong mindset to have because you just end up looking desperate and women can smell that a mile away. Me, personally, I had the most luck, by far, with women when I wasn't trying to get them. I had my first gf when I was 18 and we were together for 4 years. When I was with her, and not trying to get girls, I had girls hitting on all the time...even offering NSA sex. And HOT women...women that I seriously would have wanted to be with if I was single. Some knew I had a gf, but most didn't. I thought it was SO easy to get women. Then when that relationship finally ended and I was single and all distraught (it was a pretty horrible break up) oh man did the rivers dry up. The only girls that wanted me where the ones I would have never considered being with. It really was like some cruel joke. This went on for two years...and the whole time I was trying to get back with my ex and just not wanting to be alone. Finally, I got back with my ex, and we broke up again after a month. And something just clicked in me. I stopped caring. I didn't become bitter or hate women or anything like that. I just didn't care about HAVING to be with someone. I just hung out with friends, worked out, played ball, etc. And then bam, all of a sudden, every where I go, opportunities came my way and I dated a few girls and maybe two years later, met the girl who would eventually become the woman of my dreams, my wife, and mother of my children. I harp on this ALL THE TIME because it happened with me and I've seen it happen to others. Now I'm not saying turn celibate or anything, but when you talk about seeing an escort because you can't find a girl, that just reeks of desperation. And women have AMAZING noses for that kind of thing. You're young. Have fun, hang out with friends, finish your education, get a good job, and stop trying so hard. You might tell me that you HAVE been doing your thing and you HAVEN'T been trying so hard...but then why are you on an online forum asking about escorts? 3
Sun Devil Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 I did not have that luck. When I was not actively looking for a girl, no one showed interest in me. No matter what I do, I have not been able to get any results. I dont think your race is an issue since interracial relationships are very common. You seem like you are shy. I used to be like that, but was able to change that. Like you, I am considering buying an escort. I realize that as a man, virginity is nothing special or somethng to be proud of. You are not getting any younger, so go for it. If you do use an escort, please tell me how it was like
terlislee Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Don't think in terms of American, Chinese, Indian... they're all girls and you're a boy. End of story. It's not like they're some separate groups you have to have different approaches for. And don't ever think you're not good enough to date someone just because of your race or origin, that's bull****. You seem to be unsure about your self-worth and living in fear of rejection. Why? What will happen if a girl you have no feelings for yet won't go on a date with you? Why would you let it affect you so much to not even try? Are you a college student then? What do you enjoy doing in your spare time? Do you have friends you hang out with? You said girls enjoy talking to you, you have female friends etc., that means they like who you are as a person. Why do you think you seem boring to them? Do you think they can sense if you're interested in them? You have to at least give off some positive/flirty vibe if you want the girl to play along or do any moves on her own, don't close yourself off. You keep stopping yourself from taking the leap of faith, but unless you do nothing will ever change. It doesn't matter you never had a date, dating is not rocket science, don't overthink it so much, you cannot let your lack of experience limit you like this, because guess what - you will always have none then. As for chatting up random girls sitting by themselves, I don't think that's the best idea with your current insecurities. The possibility she will reject you is too high when approaching girls like this. 1
Author Locust Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 Don't think in terms of American, Chinese, Indian... they're all girls and you're a boy. End of story. It's not like they're some separate groups you have to have different approaches for. And don't ever think you're not good enough to date someone just because of your race or origin, that's bull****. You seem to be unsure about your self-worth and living in fear of rejection. Why? What will happen if a girl you have no feelings for yet won't go on a date with you? Why would you let it affect you so much to not even try? Are you a college student then? What do you enjoy doing in your spare time? Do you have friends you hang out with? You said girls enjoy talking to you, you have female friends etc., that means they like who you are as a person. Why do you think you seem boring to them? Do you think they can sense if you're interested in them? You have to at least give off some positive/flirty vibe if you want the girl to play along or do any moves on her own, don't close yourself off. You keep stopping yourself from taking the leap of faith, but unless you do nothing will ever change. It doesn't matter you never had a date, dating is not rocket science, don't overthink it so much, you cannot let your lack of experience limit you like this, because guess what - you will always have none then. As for chatting up random girls sitting by themselves, I don't think that's the best idea with your current insecurities. The possibility she will reject you is too high when approaching girls like this. I know this is embarrassing, but I don't know how to flirt. Even I did I would think it might creep her out. I guess I'm the fear of being wrong. So if I cannot approach girls this way then how do I get a date then? I always want to ask a couple how or someone how do you get a date I just cannot find a clear cut answer. I feel like there are too many variables which is making it hard. I know its not rocket science but I kind of feel its like rocket science or perhaps rocket science would be easier than dating.
Author Locust Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 You're thinking too much and trying to hard. If I walk by and see a cute girl sitting at a table...I don't automatically come up and sit down next to her and start talking. I see a lot of confused young people act this way. It's like your whole life revolves around getting girls. That is the absolute wrong mindset to have because you just end up looking desperate and women can smell that a mile away. Me, personally, I had the most luck, by far, with women when I wasn't trying to get them. I had my first gf when I was 18 and we were together for 4 years. When I was with her, and not trying to get girls, I had girls hitting on all the time...even offering NSA sex. And HOT women...women that I seriously would have wanted to be with if I was single. Some knew I had a gf, but most didn't. I thought it was SO easy to get women. Then when that relationship finally ended and I was single and all distraught (it was a pretty horrible break up) oh man did the rivers dry up. The only girls that wanted me where the ones I would have never considered being with. It really was like some cruel joke. This went on for two years...and the whole time I was trying to get back with my ex and just not wanting to be alone. Finally, I got back with my ex, and we broke up again after a month. And something just clicked in me. I stopped caring. I didn't become bitter or hate women or anything like that. I just didn't care about HAVING to be with someone. I just hung out with friends, worked out, played ball, etc. And then bam, all of a sudden, every where I go, opportunities came my way and I dated a few girls and maybe two years later, met the girl who would eventually become the woman of my dreams, my wife, and mother of my children. I harp on this ALL THE TIME because it happened with me and I've seen it happen to others. Now I'm not saying turn celibate or anything, but when you talk about seeing an escort because you can't find a girl, that just reeks of desperation. And women have AMAZING noses for that kind of thing. You're young. Have fun, hang out with friends, finish your education, get a good job, and stop trying so hard. You might tell me that you HAVE been doing your thing and you HAVEN'T been trying so hard...but then why are you on an online forum asking about escorts? I always been told if you don't least try you will be lonely forever. From what you said it sound like your saying just let them come to me but how many years will I have to wait. If your going to say 1 year or more years then I will go to a escort for sure at that point.
pbjbear Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I'm a 26 year old student at a university there is plenty of girls but there are too many issue I don't think I can overcome. First one is there are girls I see on campus by themselves so tempting to talk them but I fear nervous like I'm bothering her or she may already have a boyfriend. It seems most girls I meet a already have a boyfriend. Sometime when I'm waiting for the light rail and I have a girl sit to me she looks kind of cute and want to talk to her but what I do is have my i pod on over my ears. I have my i pod on a lot. Second reason is I feel that being a mixture of Indian (and I'm not from India I was born here as well my parents) and I feel American girls will not be interested in dating a Indian guy because I don't see much American people going out with Indian people. Third is I feel that I cannot keep a conversation I actually found out I can. I meet girls but it always turn out being friends. I hope the girl would make the first because I will more confident that she likes me so I know I have a good chance with her. However, this has not happen. I feel that years are passing by and still cannot have a normal life where I can date women. Most people I know have relationship or had past relationship before. So as the years go by I feel more and more frustrated that I cannot have intimate relationship with any girl. I recently started consider hiring a escort. I know its bad and illegal and risky of catching a STD but I feel this is the only way for me to get intimate. I know it will only be just sex and nothing else. I never planned ever in my life I would ever go to a escort but you just never know what can happen in life. I wish I can have a normal sexual relationship and not pay $ 300.00, but this world is not leaving me much choice. inside me I feel that every girl will find me unattractive since I never was able to get a date. I feel as I get older it will get harder because I never dated a girl and I don't know what to do on a date with a girl. I believe this gut feeling I will be going to a escort in January next year when I get extra cash, I just cannot hold my urge to be intimate with a girl any longer. 1) There are american girls who will date indian guys. Dont assume they wont because you dont see examples in your real life 2) Women are taught that a guy should make the first move and if he doesnt and you chase him he isnt actually all that interested in you. When I was younger I chased a few men...a few grew to like me some but not enough so I do feel thats true although there are exceptions 3) I wouldnt do the escort thing but its your life 4) I am not turned off by a guy with little dating experience as long as we're attracted to each other and compatible. However, younger more immature girls might have an issue with that
ariannasins Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Why not try online dating? It is easier to transition from emails to txt then to phonecalls, finally meeting in person. Try dating a few girls at the same time to see which one you like the most. It will open you up to conversation more and become more experiences. Some chicks dig Indian guys by the way!
todreaminblue Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 (edited) An ipod is a barrier it is a useful tool when you dont want to really be approached the more visible the headphones.....over head ones not those miniscule ear ones......the more it is obvious that it wont be easy to get someones attention who is wearing them.....you do need to ditch the headphones if you want to talk to girls...... if you are going to an escort for pure sexual gratification that is your choice....if you are going because you feel it will make you more confident on the approach it wont......While you are wasting your money on a call girl who is a sure thing anyway..... you are missing your opportunity to get to know girls who might just want to get to know you it wont increase your confidence the shyness you feel now will still be there.....the only thing that might happen is you will be played into becoming a regular john from a girl who needs new hair extensions and a ferrari.....well maybe not a ferrari....;0)...... join a group spend your money on that, get out and spend money in being in the great outdoors and if you meet a girl she will have the same interest as you and you will have your conversation opener.......spend some money a nice pair of running shoes to chase after the girls who liked to be chased ....take up a sport you like that is mixed.....work on your confidence by spending money on yourself.....not a call girl and her dreams of owning a lamborgini.....you will have much more confidence if you save for that lamborgini and join a car club...instead of wasting your money on a sexual romp that doesnt last very long and makes no difference to your confidence..thats my opinion though...you choose........best wishes......heaps of luck.....deb Edited December 7, 2012 by todreaminblue
Author Locust Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 (edited) I'm actually on a free dating site called Date My School but no luck. I was talking to this girl but it seem like things faded out because she doesn't respond to my messages anymore maybe she know we are too far apart by roughly 2000 miles. I like in California and she lives in Indiana, so that is a lost there. Since then I have not had one girl send me a message or anything, so I guess no is interested least on that site. I'm actually thinking of closing my profile. The I-pod I know its a habit, I love music... lol One thing I notice when I talk to girls I usually look away, down or not directly at her and I think its because I'm shy. Reason I do that is shyness and the inner feelings I have of what she might be thinking of me when I'm talking to her like do she think I'm ugly, who is this weird guy or something in that nature. Other than that, I would like to be able to approach women but if I cannot just come join a lady at her table to strike up a conversation I'm not sure what else to do. I'm not the bar scene kind of guy (actually I never been to a bar, I have drink before but just not at a bar), clubs I'm not into that very much and usually just get very crazy. I guess what I'm looking for is how and where to meet women. Edited December 7, 2012 by Locust
Author Locust Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 I know some of you say the escort won't fix my issues and I realize it won't; however, it will remove the mystery behind what is sex like since I never experienced it. I do think of sex really often and sometime hard to focus on certain things and makes me wonder if I should just hire one to remove the virginity status and then I won't worry so much.
terlislee Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 That's why I asked about your activities/friends, what KungFuJoe meant is that if you have a social life and are not locked up in your room all the time you should meet a lot of new people naturally, some of them will be girls, some of them you will find interesting, but of course you have to show the interest otherwise you will be treated as a friend, girls won't just come and ask you out. The thing is this is a more comfortable and natural way of meeting potential partners than worrying yourself silly about asking out some random girl on campus. It's not wrong to go and sit next to the girl, but it takes some social skill to strike up and keep a conversation like this, she will be apprehensive if she has no idea who you are. It would be different if you guys shared a class or something then I would say go for it. Lots of guys here will tell you a girl will reject you based on looks alone, but the thing is, girls aren't exactly over the moon talking to every random guy who aproaches them and eventually asks for their number - she might not be in the mood, not like meeting people like this in general, have a boyfriend, find you uncomfortable to talk to, find you not interesting enough and countless other reasons. Even if a girl is single she isn't constantly on the lookout for new guys and in situations like these you just put too much pressure on yourself to make enough of an impression in the few minutes you talk to her and then be crushed if she doesn't share you enthusiasm and take the rejection too personally - the thing is the same girl would most probably not reject you if her friend introduced you to her. I don't know how it works in the US, but in UK/Europe if you are not into bars/pubs/clubs there's still plenty of options to meet girls, especially as a student - you hang out with friends, they bring along other friends, you meet people in dorms, through housemates, people in your class, in the gym, there's sports clubs and socities based on your interests (even for the geekiest ones), you can do volunteering, language classes, there's activities related to your study field, you meet people at your job... I'm not saying to suddenly go out and do everything and try to meet tons of new people, but pick up something you are passionate about and go with it, it will be easier for you to talk to girls you have something in common with. As for flirting, it's nothing hard. DON'T worry about whether she thinks you are ugly, boring, anything, that's pointless. You don't really know her, maybe you won't like her either, it's not like she is the perfect one and you have to prove yourself, it's an equal thing. You talk to a girl because you are interested in her, it's basically two people getting to know each other, same as with friends. There's nothing wrong with being shy, but don't let her carry the whole conversation - listen to what she says and react accordingly - ask her questions, say something related about yourself etc. believe me girls can sense if you don't give a **** about what she's talking about and also it's no joy if you just sit there and nod. Also it's nice to compliment her, but don't overdo it, it sounds fake when a guy tells you how everything about you is so awesome when he only just met you. Also this depends but first encounters I don't really need to hear how beautiful I look and stuff like that, the girl knows you like her if you come talk to her. EYE CONTACT is important, look at her when she talks, you don't have to stare in her eyes all the time, but DON'T look on the floor. SMILE. And try to make her laugh, you don't have to crack jokes left and right, but everyone has their sense of humour so let yours show. Never bring yourself down talking to girls, come off as content with who you are, talk about your interests, passions, goals, you said you like music - ask her about what she listens to etc. A man who knows what he likes and wants in life is a big turn on. Also don't be a poppet without any real opinions, just agreeing to everything she says, be honest. Don't force yourself to be super flirty if it doesn't come naturally to you, that can be actually off-putting more often than not, it's more about keeping it light hearted and playing off of each other when talking, being attentive, making her feel special. There really si nothing to be scared about, be more confident about who you are and start showing the girls some interest. The worst case scenario is she won't go on a date with you, that doesn't mean she hates everything about you or wants to hurt you, she doesn't even know you. Don't take rejection personally, you are not entitled to a girl saying yes, so if she doesn't there's no actual loss or injury to you, why would you be sad about it. Not one bit of your self worth or who you are as a person depends on her decision or will change with her saying no, so stop obsessing about what girls would think and go actually meet some. If you just want sex, there's nothing wrong with an escort, but it's the easy way out and won't do anything for your self esteem. You shouldn't be paying for sex when you haven't even really tried to get it the normal way, which is more fun and will boost your confidence level. Girls at college are usually pretty open to sex and there's thousands of them in a relatively small area, it really shouldn't be impossible to get a girlfriend or casual sex there. I'm not saying it doesn't take a bit of an effort, but nothing good in life comes easy and you haven't even really tried yet. Also sex is not a mystery, I know it can be hard to stop obsessing about the unknown when you don't have the real experience, but instead of focusing on how you wanna know what it's like focus on actually getting to the point of having it. As for online dating, you can try OKCupid, there should be lots of girls in your age group with similar interests and you can practice chatting to them, get a bit of an ego boost by having them interested in you and a few dates possibly, though lots of men also seem to have negative experiences. The thing is the women there are mostly looking for partners, so they will instantly judge you as a possible one and will be more picky than when you meet them in RL. And lots of them just use it as an ego boost too so they are fishing for compliments without actually having any interest in dating you. It can also be more daunting meeting someone on-line and then having to "prove" yourself when you see them in flesh, but that's subjective I guess, if you are shy it can be an advantage. However you decide to go about meeting the girls make it fun for yourself and stop being so anxious about what they think about you, there's no need. Good luck! 1
MikeyBe Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Well hot damn OP, no one here is going to publicly tell you go go see a hooker. (strip club would be a better choice) Not that I would advise that either. I'm going to give you a light-hearted response that is 100% serious because you need to lighten up! I always been told if you don't least try you will be lonely forever. From what you said it sound like your saying just let them come to me but how many years will I have to wait. If your going to say 1 year or more years then I will go to a escort for sure at that point. Nah homie, he didn't say never try. Would KungFuJoe say that? He was just telling you to care about enjoying your life and stop caring about getting a girl. Meet friends, have fun, do college stuff. You know, study and sit around all day in your dorm room twitteringinstagrammingfacebookingyoutubingetc. (I'm not even kidding, these kids have no fun these days) That's how you'll meet some girls. I know some of you say the escort won't fix my issues and I realize it won't; however, it will remove the mystery behind what is sex like since I never experienced it. I do think of sex really often and sometime hard to focus on certain things and makes me wonder if I should just hire one to remove the virginity status and then I won't worry so much. Dude, you sound like your penis is going to open some magic box of understanding down there. Trust me, it aint. You think of sex often because you get horny. You're a 26 year old man. Having sex with a prostitute isn't going to change that unless I missed something. The only mystery you're going to solve is sleeping with a prostitute which is one trip the Mystery Machine aint interested in making.
musemaj11 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 (edited) The only difference between hookers and non-hookers is that hookers give you guaranteed sex for the $300 you spend on her while 'non-hookers' might take the money and run with it. To me, all women are the same. Its only a matter of perspective. So either path you choose, have no shame in taking it. Edited December 7, 2012 by musemaj11
todreaminblue Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 (edited) I'm actually on a free dating site called Date My School but no luck. I was talking to this girl but it seem like things faded out because she doesn't respond to my messages anymore maybe she know we are too far apart by roughly 2000 miles. I like in California and she lives in Indiana, so that is a lost there. Since then I have not had one girl send me a message or anything, so I guess no is interested least on that site. I'm actually thinking of closing my profile. The I-pod I know its a habit, I love music... lol One thing I notice when I talk to girls I usually look away, down or not directly at her and I think its because I'm shy. Reason I do that is shyness and the inner feelings I have of what she might be thinking of me when I'm talking to her like do she think I'm ugly, who is this weird guy or something in that nature. Other than that, I would like to be able to approach women but if I cannot just come join a lady at her table to strike up a conversation I'm not sure what else to do. I'm not the bar scene kind of guy (actually I never been to a bar, I have drink before but just not at a bar), clubs I'm not into that very much and usually just get very crazy. I guess what I'm looking for is how and where to meet women. This is the thing ill share with you and make myself look like a total goof....but ill share it anyway.......i have a lot of experience with men doesnt make a difference when i am attracted to someone.....i have turned down many dates and many guys over the years...it takes one guy i am attracted to to turn me down when i work up the nerve to ask and thats it, all confidence gone....because i am actually shy...i know what i am capable of and have had long term relationships however much bravado i show means nothing because the true me is shy.......without alcohol i hardly ever and i mean evr make a first move has to be the guy.......if i were to do it withou alcohol that has happened twice in my life.....once with my first teen romance and once recently.....you need to try and make moves on girls if you want to build up resilience.....they will either say yes or no and dont think girls are all that....they are the same as you in female form ...all women have some kind of insecurity may be little flaws they pick up or maybe bigger ones.......there is always insecurity when you get to know someone new on both sides not just one and it is better for a girl to knock you back early than three months down the track.....gives you more time to find the right one......i am the last person to talk about ipods that i still refer to as my walkman....... i have had music in my ears since i was extremely little and have nearly always had headphones attached to my head...and when music became portable for m e.....deaf and bopping as i walk from then on...grinnin...but as far as wanting to meet someone i have always been really selective....and when i am actually ready to date someone i leave my walkman sorry ipod at home more often...otherwise i continue to bop when i walk.....smilin.....you will be fine forget the hookers.....and just get out and join another group ...online is a minefield....go to church meet nice girls who will take you seriously....and you might just find yourself enlightened at the same time....or join a fave past time group.if you go see a hooker per say.....would you want to disclose that to a future girlfriend ....to every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.....good luck...best wishes.....deb Edited December 7, 2012 by todreaminblue
Author Locust Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 I will take this all into count and I won't let someone else thoughts affect me. For clothes I think I could do better but I just don't know what style would fit me. I'm not into the skinny jean thing, I do got testicles I want to keep from injury. My profile: I'm 5'10 Weigh 180 lb black wavy hair (short cut) Tanned skin Have a mixture of Indian, Latin and some Caucasian Right now I wear jeans and I love long sleeved button up shirts. I got a hair cut about a month and half ago, and this girl I know from my classes and said it was nice so it must have some worth of good style. I'm a young guy and I want to look young with updated clothing but I just don't know anything about fashion. I think if I can dress even better than I'm at now I think I will feel much better about myself.
Author Locust Posted December 8, 2012 Author Posted December 8, 2012 (edited) ............................... Edited December 8, 2012 by Locust
Taramere Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 I know some of you say the escort won't fix my issues and I realize it won't; however, it will remove the mystery behind what is sex like since I never experienced it. I do think of sex really often and sometime hard to focus on certain things and makes me wonder if I should just hire one to remove the virginity status and then I won't worry so much. If it's going to remove some of the mystique around sex and perhaps result in you being less nervous around women, then why not? Assuming, that is, you're able to find one safely and take the necessary precautions. I have no idea how you would go about doing that, but I should think that girls who work for agencies advertising "escorts" would be the safest way. The drawback I would see, with something like that, would be if you started becoming reliant on prostitutes as a kind of crutch. Especially if you're hopeful of having a real (non professional) relationship with a woman at a later date. I don't know if men are prone to falling for the first woman they have sex with, but if so that could potentially be a problem in a situation where the woman is only having sex because you're paying her. You would need to have a think about issues like that. About whether you're certain you won't later regret losing your virginity to a professional rather than an actual girlfriend. However, if you really feel that it's just not going to happen for you with regular girls right now, and if fears and issues about the unknown (sex) are really getting you down, this could be one way to address the problem proactively. It's a private matter for you, it's not as though you have to broadcast it to people you meet in the future. Your only duty to them (and to yourself) would be to ensure that you practice safe sex - and in any event, I'm sure a sex worker would insist on it.
Author Locust Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 Who knows I may just always have sex with hookers. I always been told relationship is too much time consuming, pressure burden and problems constantly unraveling. I seen my parents go through a divorce when I 11 and it was a fight over me. My friend who experience relationship with his past girlfriend tell me its best to stay away from relationships because you will go through hell. He said visit an escort for sexual connection.
Mumbles Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 One thing I notice when I talk to girls I usually look away, down or not directly at her and I think its because I'm shy. Reason I do that is shyness and the inner feelings I have of what she might be thinking of me when I'm talking to her like do she think I'm ugly, who is this weird guy or something in that nature. Its typical shy guy behaviour. Massively over-thinking. Ask me how I know You gotta look your girl in the eye, its extremely important, no, not the ground, definitely not her cleavage (not yet, this is important too, but we can talk about that later), not left or right. Take a deep breath, get hold of your manhood and look her in the eye while you speak with her. I never failed to get a response from a women, or, frankly, even a man, in so doing. Its no guarantee of a date, of course, but you've just got to find a way to hit the world with some confidence, even if its feels completely false to begin with. Do you generally look people in the eye when you speak with them? I mean in normal everyday not-thinking-romanticly life?
Taramere Posted December 10, 2012 Posted December 10, 2012 Who knows I may just always have sex with hookers. I always been told relationship is too much time consuming, pressure burden and problems constantly unraveling. I seen my parents go through a divorce when I 11 and it was a fight over me. My friend who experience relationship with his past girlfriend tell me its best to stay away from relationships because you will go through hell. He said visit an escort for sexual connection. Well, in times of recession these decisions can only be helpful to the economy.
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