skylark100 Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Just wondering if anyone has ever tried hiring a dating coach. I am really inexperienced (28) and not getting any younger, and would like to being dating more but don't really have the confidence. I don't cope with rejection particularly well (get depressed and tend to shy away from dating even more) So has anyone tried one, and if so, any general feedback. Thanks!
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Go for it! Why not? A coach is a regular person lol Even more he might have some type of "take control" personality and thats pretty hot!
SmileFace Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 What have you been doing to start dating more? How is your social life? How is your social interactions? When was your last relationship? Have you had a relationship? If you did ... why did it end? Why did the last person you date not work out? I am not into paying people to do something I can learn more about online. What is a dating coach going to tell you? Go interact with people? Join a dating service? Go cold approach? Get some news clothes? Get a better hair cut? I told you all that for free. What do you think you main issue is that your dating life isn't the best it could be? Work on that first before you go shell out some dollars for someone to only help you fix the surface problem. Rejection is part of life. A dating coach isn't going to tell you any different or fix your fear. You need to get out there and do. Stop making dating your goal but make being happy your goal and work dating into it. 1
Carenth Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Sure if you like paying someone to sell you rocks too keep tigers away otherwise do what Smileface said. A dating coach isn't going to fix all the underlying issues.
Estate Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 They are ridiculously expensive. If a bootcamp would get you out of your shell and change things then I guess it's worth it but is there any of it you could do for yourself? And at the end of the day, they can tell you all they can (which you can read online) and then its up to you to go do it. They'll encourage/push you a little but you have to do it. Also, try to find some impartial reviews before going with one or another. Most of this type are PUAs, with varying reputations. There's a lot of "non-PUA" coaches going around lately but they are basically just rehashing PUA stuff but bundling up in a more family friendly and gender neutral way but it's basically the same stuff. There's also the life coaches and those of an older generation. You'll mainly be told "be yourself, curtsey and ask for the ladies hand...". I'd stay clear of this. It seems all good but its too out of touch with realitiy for most guys of your age.
Ninjainpajamas Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 I disagree with some of the responses here. I'm not a dating coach, but It's probably something I'd be good at it, I'm a good teacher and I'm good at explaining things to people in a way that they would understand and I know a lot about how men and women work. What's hard about an online forum, especially with men, is they are visual learners. A lot of people need to learn by seeing, and the other thing is a lot the things you are doing wrong can't be seen over the internet or even explained by you, we don't know what you look like, what your body language is, what you do or don't do that may be putting off women or the moments where women were giving you an opportunity to engage them but you didn't take the hint the 10th time they sent you the signal because you weren't sure "she was into me". A dating coach would need to see you in person, see how you interact with women and that would speak a thousand words right there. He'd also have to set up scenarios and try and condition you to finding your footing in ways that you obviously aren't aware of how to handle them. Be an encourager and motivator to overcoming some of your issues, because sometimes with help, support and direction, people can overcome them. Also, fear can be a inhibiting thing, so having someone who is confident and advise you, can help you, because men who are like this are dominant for the attention, they're not in it to help other men "out in the field". He can advise you on what things to have a conversations about, how to pick up interest and detect compatibility because once it clicks it just flows. At the end of the day it's true, it's more about you than what someone can do for you...like they say, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink, there are things you would need to overcome...but if the horse can't find the damn water It's not going drink!...I don't know if these are all the things that "date coaches" do, it would honestly take a lot of work, so I'm thinking of someone more hands on but It would be worth a try I would think, you could probably learn a lot of stuff from the internet, but without some hands on assistance and a personal relationship, it would be difficult to gauge your issues and barriers with women. So I would look into online resources (I wouldn't personally look up PUA material but you can browse it, I'm sure some of it is true) but material that maybe covers some breaking the ice tactics or minimal conversational skills and then learn the rest by trying...the hardest part for men is cold approaches, but you don't have to start there, even just having a conversation with a female co-worker, making a female friend is helpful, there's nothing different about it, and really it's about learning how to talk to women and then at that point learning how to seize the moment and pursue her, as timing is very important and that might take practice, but you have to be brave enough to take chances and make an @ss out of yourself, it's better to do it the younger you are than old, and trust me a lot of these so called "players" aren't even good at it either, they're just brave enough to try and sometimes that's all it takes.
dasein Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 If you got money to burn, OP, why not? Might be fun for awhile and might be good for you.
Estate Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 I disagree with some of the responses here. I'm not a dating coach, but It's probably something I'd be good at it, I'm a good teacher and I'm good at explaining things to people in a way that they would understand and I know a lot about how men and women work. What's hard about an online forum, especially with men, is they are visual learners. A lot of people need to learn by seeing, and the other thing is a lot the things you are doing wrong can't be seen over the internet or even explained by you, we don't know what you look like, what your body language is, what you do or don't do that may be putting off women or the moments where women were giving you an opportunity to engage them but you didn't take the hint the 10th time they sent you the signal because you weren't sure "she was into me". A dating coach would need to see you in person, see how you interact with women and that would speak a thousand words right there. He'd also have to set up scenarios and try and condition you to finding your footing in ways that you obviously aren't aware of how to handle them. Be an encourager and motivator to overcoming some of your issues, because sometimes with help, support and direction, people can overcome them. Also, fear can be a inhibiting thing, so having someone who is confident and advise you, can help you, because men who are like this are dominant for the attention, they're not in it to help other men "out in the field". He can advise you on what things to have a conversations about, how to pick up interest and detect compatibility because once it clicks it just flows. At the end of the day it's true, it's more about you than what someone can do for you...like they say, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink, there are things you would need to overcome...but if the horse can't find the damn water It's not going drink!...I don't know if these are all the things that "date coaches" do, it would honestly take a lot of work, so I'm thinking of someone more hands on but It would be worth a try I would think, you could probably learn a lot of stuff from the internet, but without some hands on assistance and a personal relationship, it would be difficult to gauge your issues and barriers with women. So I would look into online resources (I wouldn't personally look up PUA material but you can browse it, I'm sure some of it is true) but material that maybe covers some breaking the ice tactics or minimal conversational skills and then learn the rest by trying...the hardest part for men is cold approaches, but you don't have to start there, even just having a conversation with a female co-worker, making a female friend is helpful, there's nothing different about it, and really it's about learning how to talk to women and then at that point learning how to seize the moment and pursue her, as timing is very important and that might take practice, but you have to be brave enough to take chances and make an @ss out of yourself, it's better to do it the younger you are than old, and trust me a lot of these so called "players" aren't even good at it either, they're just brave enough to try and sometimes that's all it takes. Ninja makes so good points but IF the OP goes for it, be very careful. There's very few dating coaches who'll do more than show you a powerpoint presentation then go to the bar and just push you into girls. And if you want 1-1 coaching it will cost even more. There are some good ones out there so if you have the money, do the research to make sure its the right one.
LittlePrince Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Isn't this just a code word for gay male prostitute for guys who aren't ready to embrace their homosexuality?
KathyM Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 I think hiring a dating coach would be a great idea for a lot of people here who are struggling with dating. These guys/gals ask for advice from posters here, but it's pretty limited what we can do, because we can't see how the person is IRL. We don't know how they come off to people or interact with people, because we can only read words on a screen. A dating coach would be much more useful to these guys, and could give them feedback on their style, and encouragement on approaches they could use with people. They would also know the area well, and have suggestions on places to go to meet people and where to go for dates. I think that would be money well spent. Another alternative would be to see a counselor/therapist, since they often help people who have social phobia to make progress in dating and socializing with people.
Nightsky Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Isn't this just a code word for gay male prostitute for guys who aren't ready to embrace their homosexuality? So he's already feeling like crap because he can't date (women I assume) and you go and question his sexuality. What a nice guy you are. I'll be you dating coach if you live in FL. For freeeeeeeeee. Just think it would be funny. I'll make you face rejection or cry trying.
SmileFace Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 My post wasn't meant to say I can substitute a dating coach. I barely give out a advice. However I think the op needs to look over their life and see if there is any thing they need to fix that is causing their dating problems before seeking professional help. Think about weight loss surgery - patients have to see a therapist before having surgery - since the doctors need to know what causes the patient to eat at these huge volumes. You can't polish a turd... that is all I was saying. I think after trying to work on your self and you still find yourself needing help - a dating coach won't be a bad option. However remember it is an option. Half the people that ask for advice here don't take it - so it isn't that receiving advice from a forum doesn't help but they don't get up and go - that is the problem.
LittlePrince Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 My post wasn't meant to say I can substitute a dating coach. I barely give out a advice. However I think the op needs to look over their life and see if there is any thing they need to fix that is causing their dating problems before seeking professional help. Think about weight loss surgery - patients have to see a therapist before having surgery - since the doctors need to know what causes the patient to eat at these huge volumes. You can't polish a turd... that is all I was saying. I think after trying to work on your self and you still find yourself needing help - a dating coach won't be a bad option. However remember it is an option. Half the people that ask for advice here don't take it - so it isn't that receiving advice from a forum doesn't help but they don't get up and go - that is the problem. The actual problem is advice can't help. A sparrow can never be a falcon. A house cat can never be a liger.
Nightsky Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 My post wasn't meant to say I can substitute a dating coach. I barely give out a advice. However I think the op needs to look over their life and see if there is any thing they need to fix that is causing their dating problems before seeking professional help. Think about weight loss surgery - patients have to see a therapist before having surgery - since the doctors need to know what causes the patient to eat at these huge volumes. You can't polish a turd... that is all I was saying. I think after trying to work on your self and you still find yourself needing help - a dating coach won't be a bad option. However remember it is an option. Half the people that ask for advice here don't take it - so it isn't that receiving advice from a forum doesn't help but they don't get up and go - that is the problem. This is some unlicensed practice of dating coaching if I ever saw it. Are you a self appointed dating coach like me? hmmm I didn't think so. Also who said my prospective client is a turd who can't be polished, why I never. Just for that I'm going to coach him right into your bed.
SmileFace Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 The actual problem is advice can't help. A sparrow can never be a falcon. A house cat can never be a liger. Yes, and you can never STFU. Some things never happen.... we know.
LittlePrince Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Yes, and you can never STFU. Some things never happen.... we know. Why would I change? That's my most charming feature. You know it, babe.
SmileFace Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Why would I change? That's my most charming feature. You know it, babe. Of course... that is why I like you so much. Keep moving those pretty little lips.
LittlePrince Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Of course... that is why I like you so much. Keep moving those pretty little lips. Only if you move yours a little lower.
Under The Radar Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 I disagree with some of the responses here. I'm not a dating coach, but It's probably something I'd be good at it, I'm a good teacher and I'm good at explaining things to people in a way that they would understand and I know a lot about how men and women work. What's hard about an online forum, especially with men, is they are visual learners. A lot of people need to learn by seeing, and the other thing is a lot the things you are doing wrong can't be seen over the internet or even explained by you, we don't know what you look like, what your body language is, what you do or don't do that may be putting off women or the moments where women were giving you an opportunity to engage them but you didn't take the hint the 10th time they sent you the signal because you weren't sure "she was into me". A dating coach would need to see you in person, see how you interact with women and that would speak a thousand words right there. He'd also have to set up scenarios and try and condition you to finding your footing in ways that you obviously aren't aware of how to handle them. Be an encourager and motivator to overcoming some of your issues, because sometimes with help, support and direction, people can overcome them. Also, fear can be a inhibiting thing, so having someone who is confident and advise you, can help you, because men who are like this are dominant for the attention, they're not in it to help other men "out in the field". He can advise you on what things to have a conversations about, how to pick up interest and detect compatibility because once it clicks it just flows. At the end of the day it's true, it's more about you than what someone can do for you...like they say, you can lead a horse to water but you can't make it drink, there are things you would need to overcome...but if the horse can't find the damn water It's not going drink!...I don't know if these are all the things that "date coaches" do, it would honestly take a lot of work, so I'm thinking of someone more hands on but It would be worth a try I would think, you could probably learn a lot of stuff from the internet, but without some hands on assistance and a personal relationship, it would be difficult to gauge your issues and barriers with women. So I would look into online resources (I wouldn't personally look up PUA material but you can browse it, I'm sure some of it is true) but material that maybe covers some breaking the ice tactics or minimal conversational skills and then learn the rest by trying...the hardest part for men is cold approaches, but you don't have to start there, even just having a conversation with a female co-worker, making a female friend is helpful, there's nothing different about it, and really it's about learning how to talk to women and then at that point learning how to seize the moment and pursue her, as timing is very important and that might take practice, but you have to be brave enough to take chances and make an @ss out of yourself, it's better to do it the younger you are than old, and trust me a lot of these so called "players" aren't even good at it either, they're just brave enough to try and sometimes that's all it takes. Can we hire YOU through Skype ? 1
Estate Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 The actual problem is advice can't help. A sparrow can never be a falcon. A house cat can never be a liger. That's a pretty depressing way to live your live, with that attitude.
Nightsky Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Can we hire YOU through Skype ? I'm his manager, yes you can!
SmileFace Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Only if you move yours a little lower. ... and now I can put my teeth to good use.
LittlePrince Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 ... and now I can put my teeth to good use. Good. I have plenty of genital pustules in need of popping.
Nightsky Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 ... and now I can put my teeth to good use. Remind me not to mess with you. Also try not to remind me with your pretty lips and teeth. 1
Cutiepie1976 Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 The best teacher is experience. How do you get better at anything? Lots of practice! You'll get a lot more from just putting yourself out there, learning to deal with rejection, and dating a lot. A lot more than you would from a dating coach. Besides, as others have pointed out, anyone can put up a shingle and claim to be a dating coach.
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