aed Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 LOL, what a snob. I've changed my mind on girls, and have gotten back together with girls I've rejected. Some times its about the "long game" and planting the seeds of attraction. Girls have "anti slut" defenses and won't jump into bed with a sketchy stranger. It takes time to woo them. I don't have a problem when she changes her mind. But when I know a girl is just desperate and that is her main reason. Why would you want that? Do you think a any girl would date a guy, when she knows he is desperate and that is his only reason to date her?
MrCastle Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Well, if you ever sit next to a hot girl on the subway, and she's giving you flirty looks and smiles, just run away like a scared boy! Bro you're not getting it. IOI's are a totally different thing. What is so hard to understand about what I'm saying? You see a girl walking down the street, she doesn't even notice you, she may even be walking in the opposite direction sometimes--you then run up to her and start spitting game. With no IOI's to go by, just a pure cold street approach. The success for that is low. You're trying to alter it by adding friends, or indicators of interest, to make a point, and it has nothing to do with what we're talking about. Cold public approach, girl you've never met before and would otherwise never see again, giving you no signs to approach. This is what I'm talking about. Stop trying to change the conversation by adding other pieces. This is the conversation we're having.
Necris Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Well, if you ever sit next to a hot girl on the subway, and she's giving you flirty looks and smiles, just run away like a scared boy! In a true cold approach no one is showing interest toward you, you don't know that person and they don't know you, chances are you are going to be successful. What you described isn't really a cold approach the girl in this scenario is trying to indirectly approach you. 2
MrCastle Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 In a true cold approach no one is showing interest toward you, you don't know that person and they don't know you, chances are you are going to be successful. What you described isn't really a cold approach the girl in this scenario is trying to indirectly approach you. Thank you.
Necris Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 In a true cold approach no one is showing interest toward you, you don't know that person and they don't know you, chances are you are going to be successful. What you described isn't really a cold approach the girl in this scenario is trying to indirectly approach you. Meant to say not successful.
CptObvious Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 It takes a certain level of confidence and social skills (flirting, "swagger", etc.) to make cold approaches a viable option. If a person doesn't possess those skills, they're setting themselves up for a series of hard rejections. It's akin to throwing someone into a boxing ring for a full contact match without having had the chance to train or spar in a safe environment. The result is more than likely going to be a beatdown for one's self confidence. Well that's what decides if you're a man or not. Gotta get in there and starting winging haymakers if you have to. Y'know, u gotta get something going... can't be worried about your feelings getting hurt.
movingon12 Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Just for the record, off the top of my head I know 4 women (including myself), who are now happily married to guys who approached them cold (2 in bars, 1 on a plane, 1 at a photocopier). There may well be more, I just don't know how they met.
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Just for the record, off the top of my head I know 4 women (including myself), who are now happily married to guys who approached them cold (2 in bars, 1 on a plane, 1 at a photocopier). There may well be more, I just don't know how they met. Bars don't count. People go to bars to pick up. Women are expecting it. When they are walking down the street, it's a different story. Photocopier doesn't count either if it was at a place of work. If they are co-workers and even if they haven't spoken before, it's still not cold approach. On the plane - yeah I will give you that one. But even there particulars of the situation need to be defined before it's counted as a cold approach.
movingon12 Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Bars don't count. People go to bars to pick up. Women are expecting it. When they are walking down the street, it's a different story. Photocopier doesn't count either if it was at a place of work. If they are co-workers and even if they haven't spoken before, it's still not cold approach. On the plane - yeah I will give you that one. But even there particulars of the situation need to be defined before it's counted as a cold approach. I disagree. 1) Bars may be pick up joints in the US, but they're not in the UK. 2) If you have never seen or spoken to someone before that day it is a cold approach, regardless of what kind of building it is. 3) He asked her if she could recommend any bars in our city. She suggested a couple. He asked her out. She said yes.
ScreamingTrees Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 If only guys on here were a bit smarter and actually focused on building friendships with men, they would be infinitely more successful. It's funny you should say this, because I had this group that'd constantly call me to hang out, about a dozen guys or so.. They went out of their way to get a hold of me, so *I* couldn't (I know your post was a general statement) be that socially awkward or difficult to get along with... It was ALWAYS a sausage fest. At least in the social circles I've always been in, the guys keep their girlfriends and potentials seperate from their social circles.. Trust me, when "the guys" are hanging out, they're not looking to solve each other's problems. It's just a fun time spent together playing basketball or video games or getting drunk or something stupid like that. Work is also a terrible place to expect to meet any women.. Especially through other guys.. There MIGHT be a shot if you're working with a much older guy who takes a liking to you, seeing that you're a good person, and wants to set you up.. But even that's unlikely and doesn't happen every day, for a specific thought like that to pop up in someone's head. 1
Author Nightsky Posted December 6, 2012 Author Posted December 6, 2012 Does it really matter what method is better? Really you should be trying both of them simultaneously when opportunities present themselves. I also tend not to think of "results" nor do I approach loads of women. I see who I like, if I'm feeling it I go and talk to them - whether I know her or not. Simples . Agreed. It's simple math. Plus the cold approach will sharpen the man willing to make them. It also helps create the most important skill, not fearing rejection and being bold. A cold approach to me is approaching a random girl you think is hot with no signs of interest from her. This Is a cold approach. When she is making eye contact and smiling. She is inviting you and making the approach for you. In a true cold approach no one is showing interest toward you, you don't know that person and they don't know you, chances are you are going to be successful. What you described isn't really a cold approach the girl in this scenario is trying to indirectly approach you. I will say this, the man who cold approaches is much more likely to pick up on a sign of interest and make that one of the girls he approaches. Some guy who doesn't really approach women is likely not to notice a girl who looked his way or smiled. If he does notice he might play it off as nothing and tell himself "I don't even know her or her friends or have class/work/activities with her I can't just walk over cold." So, in a sense yes a guy may notice sign of interest. But he also might feel it's a cold approach because he has no real reason to approach her. She's just some stranger on the street. Maybe he was looking at her and she just smiled back to be polite I mean he can tell himself this stuff in his head. So really it is a lot like a cold approach. It's debatable. I mean if you get a list of republican voters and you are calling people about a republican candidate them being registered republican is a sign of interest... but your call for donations or support or what ever is still a COLD CALL... aha. Not like you KNOW THEM or some other link. Just for the record, off the top of my head I know 4 women (including myself), who are now happily married to guys who approached them cold (2 in bars, 1 on a plane, 1 at a photocopier). There may well be more, I just don't know how they met. Yes, many people I know met just going about there day or what ever. It's something that all these guys are being told just don't do it. Bars don't count. People go to bars to pick up. Women are expecting it. When they are walking down the street, it's a different story. Photocopier doesn't count either if it was at a place of work. If they are co-workers and even if they haven't spoken before, it's still not cold approach. On the plane - yeah I will give you that one. But even there particulars of the situation need to be defined before it's counted as a cold approach. People may go to bars to socialize but let me tell you this... it is the place women will be on there highest guard. You meet a women at the bank and she's far more likely to talk with you than if you meet her at the bar. At the bar likely to have her and her friends say "we're lesbians please go away!" Than if you do get this bar girls number and alcohol is involved she's likely either to assume you were drunk or she was. In fact even if no one was drunk a bar meet can just some how taint things for what ever reason. So a bar is actually harder than a cold approach in my opinion. I think the photocopier example was an offsite copying place like FedEx. As for a plane c'mon that counts! haha I define a cold approach as approaching any girl you don't have some social connection to. In fact if you approach a girl in your class who you have no friends in common with sure having the same class works as an ice breaker but it's practically a cold approach.
yongyong Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Who says it won't work? it's bunch of losers who don't want to admit they are afraid to do it. 'geez, she is shopping for apples. she won't talk to any guys unless you are george clooney' I don't mind guys at least trying hard and admit they are shy. But guys coming up with stupid excuses to justify themselves make me disgusting.
maybealone Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Quite literally a hundred though. I'm following a guy's approach journal on a pua site, I think he's up to approach no. 145, has landed 5 numbers out of those 145 and 0 dates. I think a lot of women can tell the difference between a guy looking for a date, and a guy looking for a date with her. 2
Necromancer Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 I think a lot of women can tell the difference between a guy looking for a date, and a guy looking for a date with her. And so what?.(what are you trying to proof) Everybody has to start somewhere. Does that justify 145 rejections?.
Imajerk17 Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 You can "cold approach" in bars, why not do it in the grocery store? If you see a woman you want to meet, you meet her. 2
Author Nightsky Posted December 6, 2012 Author Posted December 6, 2012 UPDATE: Cold approaches do not work... I'm sad to say I met a girl at the place I buy my candy. I didn't know her or her friends, really I had no connection what so ever to her. But she was hot and caught my attention. I said "hello" to her and she was all "why are you talking to me, do I know you?" I replied "I noticed you like gummy worms and red Swedish fish, so do I!" that's when it happened, she responded with "can you please just leave me a lone." It was just so cold. I'M NOT A CREEP! Guys it was like a punch, a kick, and a shotgun blast to my heart. I dropped my candy and ran out of the store in fit of rage and tears. I'm humiliated and still shaking as I type this. I don't think I can go back to that mall. I sat on a bench while I tried to calm down before the short drive home. A little boy came over and said "excuse me Mr. but are you some kind of bitch?" than him and his friends laughed at me and ran away. Save yourself the humiliation and do NOT... DO NOT! Cold Approach. Really I think we need a new thread. Warm Approaches only please. Nothing too cold. You need to have some kind of in, you know where they can't reject you because they know they may or probably will see you again. Some reason they shouldn't hurt your feelings. A friend connection or the fact that you both frequent the same rotary club works as an example... None of this cold sht for me any more, no thank you! Sorry I made this "Cold" thread, save your egos boys. Also that poor sexy assed woman shopping for candy. I totally had no connection to her and intruded in her life with out so much as an indicator of interest. Men let the girl say hi or smile at you first. Than unless it is undeniable and even then... don't proceed. Well if it's like really obvious like a big smile than maybe say "hi" and see if she asks you out... use your common sense and be very timid. 5
MrCastle Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 UPDATE: Cold approaches do not work... I'm sad to say I met a girl at the place I buy my candy. I didn't know her or her friends, really I had no connection what so ever to her. But she was hot and caught my attention. I said "hello" to her and she was all "why are you talking to me, do I know you?" I replied "I noticed you like gummy worms and red Swedish fish, so do I!" that's when it happened, she responded with "can you please just leave me a lone." It was just so cold. I'M NOT A CREEP! Guys it was like a punch, a kick, and a shotgun blast to my heart. I dropped my candy and ran out of the store in fit of rage and tears. I'm humiliated and still shaking as I type this. I don't think I can go back to that mall. I sat on a bench while I tried to calm down before the short drive home. A little boy came over and said "excuse me Mr. but are you some kind of bitch?" than him and his friends laughed at me and ran away. Save yourself the humiliation and do NOT... DO NOT! Cold Approach. Really I think we need a new thread. Warm Approaches only please. Nothing too cold. You need to have some kind of in, you know where they can't reject you because they know they may or probably will see you again. Some reason they shouldn't hurt your feelings. A friend connection or the fact that you both frequent the same rotary club works as an example... None of this cold sht for me any more, no thank you! Sorry I made this "Cold" thread, save your egos boys. Also that poor sexy assed woman shopping for candy. I totally had no connection to her and intruded in her life with out so much as an indicator of interest. Men let the girl say hi or smile at you first. Than unless it is undeniable and even then... don't proceed. Well if it's like really obvious like a big smile than maybe say "hi" and see if she asks you out... use your common sense and be very timid. Longest free post in the history of LS
maybealone Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 And so what?.(what are you trying to proof) Everybody has to start somewhere. Does that justify 145 rejections?. Yes. Yes, it does. Going back to the job analogy, if you send out 145 applications to any job out there simply because you want a job, without bothering to customize the cover letter or resume for any of them, you are not likely to get any interviews.
Revolver Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 I wouldn't advise a guy who sucks with women to just go cold approaching. That will end in a disaster and kill his confidence quicker 1
ThaWholigan Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 I wouldn't advise a guy who sucks with women to just go cold approaching. That will end in a disaster and kill his confidence quicker I agree, they should more do cold approaching just to acclimatize to talking to women they don't know but on a light level rather than "I have to get her number". I won't deny - social circle is better. But it's still good to be able to cold approach. 1
Author Nightsky Posted December 6, 2012 Author Posted December 6, 2012 I agree, they should more do cold approaching just to acclimatize to talking to women they don't know but on a light level rather than "I have to get her number". I won't deny - social circle is better. But it's still good to be able to cold approach. Good point. If they don't want to ask the girl out, at least get used to making small talk with people including hot women you don't know. I say go all the way though.
jcrew11 Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Bars don't count. People go to bars to pick up. Women are expecting it. When they are walking down the street, it's a different story. Photocopier doesn't count either if it was at a place of work. If they are co-workers and even if they haven't spoken before, it's still not cold approach. On the plane - yeah I will give you that one. But even there particulars of the situation need to be defined before it's counted as a cold approach. Say you are walking down the street or walking to work, and you see a girl walking her dog. You "ask her for directions or some other thing" and you realize she just moved in down the block or works in the office down the block. Are you going to get her number or wait until you see 5 more times before talking to her? You can find love anywhere. Don't be scared, be open to finding love in unexpected places.
jcrew11 Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Uh, that's not what he said. If a girl is making eye contact and smiling at you then it indicates interest and that's different. A cold approach to me is approaching a random girl you think is hot with no signs of interest from her. What if the guy "just looks handsome" or he's wearing a suit, or maybe he's running with his shirt off. There are ways to attract a woman's attention without "shouting at her." He could just be a good-looking guy walking or standing on the sidewalk. That might be a "reverse cold-approach" where you entice a woman to approach you." What if you just happen to make eye-contact and smile at her on the subway? There are ways of "progressing a cold-approach" into signs of interest.
jcrew11 Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Bro you're not getting it. IOI's are a totally different thing. What is so hard to understand about what I'm saying? You see a girl walking down the street, she doesn't even notice you, she may even be walking in the opposite direction sometimes--you then run up to her and start spitting game. With no IOI's to go by, just a pure cold street approach. The success for that is low. You're trying to alter it by adding friends, or indicators of interest, to make a point, and it has nothing to do with what we're talking about. Cold public approach, girl you've never met before and would otherwise never see again, giving you no signs to approach. This is what I'm talking about. Stop trying to change the conversation by adding other pieces. This is the conversation we're having. Life isn't as cut and dry, and doesn't always fit into your strictly defined situations. Once you leave school and start working 10 hour days, you'll quickly realize your social options have shrunk. The most common "cold approach" is at a bar, and men get rejected at bars all the time. I'm not saying cold approaching is easy, or should be done in high volume. I'm purely saying that "cold approaches/meet cute" can happen anywhere/anytime, and a guy has to be ready to talk to a girl if the opportunity presents itself. There are ways to improve a guy's chances of a "cold approach" such as wearing nice clothes, possibly a suit, or showing off his biceps/abs. Using props like a dog. Smiling at the woman, using non-verbal communication. Making the woman notice you and come to you first.
Necris Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Who says it won't work? it's bunch of losers who don't want to admit they are afraid to do it. 'geez, she is shopping for apples. she won't talk to any guys unless you are george clooney' I don't mind guys at least trying hard and admit they are shy. But guys coming up with stupid excuses to justify themselves make me disgusting. Never worked for me, and no I'm not afraid to do it, since I actually do make the effort to cold approach women, nothing ever comes of it though.
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