makingithappen Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Hi all! I would like to ask for your advice about LDRs for couples who are working My boyfriend and I have been dating in person for 10 months, and are now doing long distance for our 3rd month now. So far, so good - despite the huge 7 hour time difference, we text regularly over the phone, skype a few times a week, and try to keep the relationship alive as much as possible. We met when we were graduate students before the LDR, and am now in our separate home countries looking for jobs. I've fortunately found one recently, and will be starting work in my home country from January. He's still hunting in his own country (he initially tried to find a job in my country, but it was almost impossible as a fresh-graduate and non-national), and will most probably get a great job and start working sometime early next year too. What I realized is that all this time, we're used to and have been maintaining our LDR with our "student" schedules - as we were both without any fixed schedule, I had my phone with me all the time so we were able to text a few times a day, we were able to skype on a regular basis, and likewise for him. With work starting for me though, I'm worried that communication will break down - not only will I not be able to text as much to him, but i won't be able to chat with him in real-time because of the time difference. Skype sessions will also probably be only once or barely even once a week, depending on my weekend schedule. Conversations might be limited to the "what-i-did-today-at-work" small-talk. While we went to the same grad school and have common friends, work life is completely separate...which might potentially cause us to lead more different lives. I'd like to ask all you couples who are LDR-ing and working at the same time - how do you keep the relationship alive? Is there anything I should watch out for once work life gets tough? This is my first relationship and I really want to make it work between us. Although we have to work in our respective countries for now, we want to take it day by day and see how it goes. If all goes well, I am definitely looking into moving to his country after 2-3 years to work (which means at least another 2 years of LDR for us...), but it all starts from here! Would be great to hear what you all think! Thanks
justwhoiam Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 It depends on the kind of job... Some have more freedom. But anyway, assuming you were both working in an office, you'd get breaks during the day, and the time you get to work and back, the early morning and the evening. So it all depends of how determined you are. Some people wouldn't give up their comfort for anything in the world, so that means they wouldn't miss an hour of sleep to spend some time with the one they love. Also, it takes two. If the relationship is unbalanced or communication unfrequent, it's bound to die, I guess. You'll still have good memories. It's your first relationship and maybe not the last one, as statistically speaking, few people have only ONE relationship all they life long.
Author makingithappen Posted December 8, 2012 Author Posted December 8, 2012 Thanks for replying, justwhoiam! What you said about determination is definitely true - I know that I will give my all to keep the relationship alive, but I notice that my boyfriend tends to take a laid-back approach to things out of his own convenience. I think he doesn't mean no harm, but it's something I guess I'll bring up when it becomes more obvious when I start work. And like you said, it's only my first relationship, and I'm still young...if it doesn't work out, then I could walk away with the greatest memories with him. But I'll take it day by day, and work on it with him I just really hope communication doesn't break down when we both start our working lives...he's the kinda person that wouldn't go out of his way too much to text me if he's tired or busy.
justwhoiam Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 my boyfriend tends to take a laid-back approach to things out of his own convenience. Just sooo typical. I'm not sure if it's in their DNA. I think he doesn't mean no harm I know... still, it's annoying. he's the kinda person that wouldn't go out of his way too much to text me if he's tired or busy. In my book, a man should go out of his way soon or later if he really cares. There are not many ways to my heart.. so if he's not that into me, it's bound to end. Live & learn... 1
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