Mer91 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 I have pretty much moved on. The grass was not greener for her it seems and thats fine sorry to hear it but why are you dumping it on me? The problem. My family. They ask about her constantly and the worse one. My mother. My ex moved into our house when we were dating her family was physically abusive, her and my mother became close. She moved out 2 weeks after the BU. I tried to tell my mom that i need her there for me not for my ex. Ive tried many times and all i get is i know or i cant abandon her too many people have abandoned her. It hasnt worked. Her dog (Which she got while we were still together) got kicked out of the place she was renting due to her neglegance. Not filling in holes, cleaning up poop etc... So my mother decides to say sure the dog can stay here until you find another place. So now im taking care of my ex's dog. My mother is rewarding my ex's irresponsibility and my ex is reaping the perks of our relationship without being in the relationship (infact shes dating again or so ive heard). So my feelings arent being taken into consideration once again. Im sure if she cant find a new place soon she will be over alot. It feels like she is taking advantage of my mothers hospitality and my mother doesnt want to lose a friend so shes putting up with it. Ive tried confronting both, the ex leaves crying (My life is falling apart boohoo, why you so mean boohoo). And i get what amounts to no response from my mom. Just need some advice/counsel/vent
britnee13 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Maybe you should tell your mom that your ex needs to call if she is coming over so you can leave and not be there if she is going to continue to have a relationship with her. The thing is...right now she is hanging on to the relationship with your mother because its her only way to stay connected with you. Once she moves on and finds a new boyfriend, she will latch on to his family. Its tough because she was abused...and as a woman I am sure your mother is just being sensitive to the fact that she has no real source of support and love. Your ex knows that this bothers you so of course she is going to continue to do it....another reccomendation I have is to try even though its hard....to not let her know that it bothers you. Act like you dont care, if she thinks you dont care, she might start to come around less. Tell your mother to try and consider putting herself in your shoes...she is making this so hard for you...and she is YOUR mother.. she needs to slowly cut off ties with this girl.. I can promise you if she is dating someone else, sooner or later if things get more serious with this guy, he wont allow her to come be around her ex's mother. So if you cant figure out a solution, just give it some time, things will slowly start to work themselves out.
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