damongirl Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 So I am new, but desperately need some advice. Recently, I met a guy who was a considerable amount older than me on a dating website. We spoke on the phone and via email for months, and he couldn't stop saying how beautiful I was or how much he liked me. We live in different states, so he flew down from oregon to socal where I am. We had a great weekend and even had sex several times. We talked about my coming up to visit him. Now, a little over a week later, he has done a complete 360. He has only emailed me twice- both of them saying he's busy and sorry but he'll catch up later. He's also saying my visiting him might not work in the next few months. I've called him but his phone conversations have become short as well. I'm very distraught- mostly because I'm crazy about this guy, and my gut says there's something wrong. I didn't change from when we first met, and he said even in person I was beautiful. Is he blowing me off, is he hiding something, or could he be scared, or what? It's such a complete turn around I jsut can't buy the "I'm super busy" excuse. I'm confused and am now beating myself up trying to figure out what went wrong. Anyone have a piece of advice? I'd love to hear it.
aboehme Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 maybe him seeing you made him realize that his does want you but his life is there and yours is where you are. hes probably scared that it may not work out and to see you again will only make it harder.. have faith and hold on a little longer to see what happens... good luck
YellowLioness Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 Honestly, it sounds like he probably got what he wanted out of you, which was a weekend stand. In all likleyhood, he lied to his wife and told her he went on a business trip, then flew down to be with you. He doesn't want a dedicated relationship because he already has a wife. He has that emotional stability, so he doesn't need your affections. He just wanted some strange. Sorry hon, I know I'm harsh, but this is my honest opinion. I'm sure you're a sweet girl, just count your losses and move on. You can do better then him, anyway. :-)
Wellnowuknow Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 Yeah he definitely sounds married. He sound slike he got what he wanted and now thats it. You live over there he lives where he lives and he already got it so why continue to go through all the trouble. Have you spoken with him directly about the problem though? Your never going to know unless you ask him whats up. Tell him u don't believe the busy excuse and to tell you the truth.
Author damongirl Posted August 10, 2004 Author Posted August 10, 2004 I just don't know why anyone would go to so much time and trouble for a one night stand. I know I should just count my losses and move on, but I really liked him you know? Perhaps I'll try asking directly. I hate doing that, but it might offer some insight. thanks guys
YellowLioness Posted August 10, 2004 Posted August 10, 2004 It's crazy. I've heard so many posts on LS lately about these older, married men who seduce young women into meeting them. Its just sad that innocent people get caught up in it all.
Recommended Posts