tito1501 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Hello everyone, Firstly some relevant information : I am a 20 years old "boy". She is an 18 years old "girl". At the beginning of the relationship everything was wonderful, she was an one of a kind girl. Two years and a half have past and then bad things started to happen. We began to have conflicts few months ago because of the stress we were having in our lives and I didn't want to have sex or kiss her like I used to in the beginning. So after a week of a great discussions she decided to break up because of her father that didn't support our dating any longer and she used the excuse that she would have to go university far away from our city.However, as a matter of fact, I know I was making her sad and I was quite away from our affective life. THE THING IS: After three months remote from each other, we are starting to talk again and after some questions that I asked her,she told me she had kissed two guys and had sex with one of them. Now she says she feels very sorry for what she did and it was good for her because after that,she could remember how wonderful it was to make love with me,the one she loves. She said she regret about everything and that she was only drunk and VERY angry with me and she doesn't feel anything about this guys and, in addition, she doesn't want to go out and drink anymore. Now she wants to focus on her studies. She was also angry with me because she were being advised about the parties I was attending and the girl I had kissed during the break up. She said bluntly about the days I went to night clubs without warning her (during the relationship) and she said she was SURE I had cheated on her.But I didn't. In other words, she was hurt. I feel bad everytime I remember the fact that she had sex with that guy and I would like to know if I should give credit for a relationship with this kind of person. In other hand, I always think that I ought to give more value to myself even knowing that most of it was my fault. ps : I'm sorry for the bad English, I'm not from UK Thanks in advance, Mike
LittlePrince Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 She slept with another. She's a whore. Move on. 2
amaysngrace Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 What's the big deal? What you guys did during the breakup isn't either of your business. You were broken up. 4
Necromancer Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Women lie about their sex lifes always triple the number. She most likely sleept with at least three guys. 1
LittlePrince Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 What's the big deal? What you guys did during the breakup isn't either of your business. You were broken up. Yes, a break up she instituted so she could sleep with others and now expects the op just to take her back like nothing happened.
lovebug1234 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 disagree. she's not a whore. she was single, dumbass. you guys are still young so I wouldn't over stress. you have to decide either to let it go and move on or just move on. either decision is actually okay and valid. much will depend on what you're commited to. She slept with another. She's a whore. Move on. 4
amaysngrace Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Yes, a break up she instituted so she could sleep with others and now expects the op just to take her back like nothing happened. He stopped sleeping with her. He deserved to get broken up with so she could go get laid. At least she didn't cheat.
LittlePrince Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 She slept around and it probably was more than one. That is a whore.
terlislee Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 She is not a whore. They broke up, she was free to sleep with whomever she wanted. Are you guys all dating virgins?! 3
LittlePrince Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 She is not a whore. They broke up, she was free to sleep with whomever she wanted. Are you guys all dating virgins?! Sounds like all of this has been her idea and this guy has put up with it so far. There is no they just her. He needs to put his foot down, stand up for himself, and cut her out of his life. This is the classic if a man would do what she has done women would not be supporting him and a reunion.
Toddbt12y1 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Idc how or when she had sex. The fact she broke up with this Guy cause of a lack of sex, getting angry when they where apart...and having sex out of that anger Yeah...shows a lot about her character. Say whatever, yeah they where broken up....but it's not what they did when they broke up. But the reasons why. Too many people place overly much importance on sex. Its important but NOT that important. 1
terlislee Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Sounds like all of this has been her idea and this guy has put up with it so far. There is no they just her. He needs to put his foot down, stand up for himself, and cut her out of his life. This is the classic if a man would do what she has done women would not be supporting him and a reunion. He said he stopped being affectionate towards her and there were other issues, how was that all her fault, it always takes two for a relationship to end, no matter who does the breaking up. After you break up are you supposed to wait for however long and not have sex with anyone else in case you might get back with your ex and he might not approve? He went on, partied and kissed other girls. She did the same, just took it one step further, even if it's obvious she wasn't ready and still had feelings for him and that's why it made her feel like crap. If the guy did this I'd say the same - he was free to do whatever and I wouldn't judge him just as I wouldn't judge him for what he had done before we first started dating. I understand some people might have a problem with this, and that's up to the OP if he can move past that and not hold in against her, but objectively speaking she did nothing wrong. And it most certainly doesn't make her a whore. 4
Lonely Ronin Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 I would not get back together with her. They where together for 2 and a half years, let that sink in for a moment people. the fact that she moved on so fast, says something about how she perceived the relationship. It wasn't something serious to her, if it was she wouldn't have moved on that fast. 1
pbjbear Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Threads like this make me really hate being a girl. Sleeping with a guy when she is single does not make her a whore. Get over yourselves If this was the reverse, and a girl was posting here "he slept with another girl" all the answers would be "he was single hes a guy so move on" Dont tell me this wouldnt happen, Ive seen a version of that example a million times on this website. I browsed this site for years before I joined and started posting feedback/answers Women like sex and have needs too. I dont put out early due to my personality but I dont judge women that do and are comfortable with it. Her taking advantage of her needs does not make her a bad person and judge all of you that called her names. Get over it 4
Lonely Ronin Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 If this was the reverse, and a girl was posting here "he slept with another girl" all the answers would be "he was single hes a guy so move on" Dont tell me this wouldnt happen, Ive seen a version of that example a million times on this website. I browsed this site for years before I joined and started posting feedback/answers You should learn to ignore the responses of trolls.
pbjbear Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 You should learn to ignore the responses of trolls. They werent trolls. They were members that post on this site all the time I checked their posting history. I am sorry I am saying something that hurts peoples feelings but its the truth. So sick and tired of guys judging girls that are more sexually liberated, and even more so the ones that are sexually liberated themselves! DOUBLE STANDARDS. Get over it OP you kissed another girl right? So its fine for you to do that but not for her? Have you ever thought that just because she got "some" doesnt mean she doesnt like you and want to work on things?
LittlePrince Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 They werent trolls. They were members that post on this site all the time I checked their posting history. I am sorry I am saying something that hurts peoples feelings but its the truth. So sick and tired of guys judging girls that are more sexually liberated, and even more so the ones that are sexually liberated themselves! DOUBLE STANDARDS. Get over it OP you kissed another girl right? So its fine for you to do that but not for her? By troll LonelyRonin means people I don't like the responses of. Not the same as a real troll.
pbjbear Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Hello everyone, Firstly some relevant information : I am a 20 years old "boy". She is an 18 years old "girl". At the beginning of the relationship everything was wonderful, she was an one of a kind girl. Two years and a half have past and then bad things started to happen. We began to have conflicts few months ago because of the stress we were having in our lives and I didn't want to have sex or kiss her like I used to in the beginning. So after a week of a great discussions she decided to break up because of her father that didn't support our dating any longer and she used the excuse that she would have to go university far away from our city.However, as a matter of fact, I know I was making her sad and I was quite away from our affective life. THE THING IS: After three months remote from each other, we are starting to talk again and after some questions that I asked her,she told me she had kissed two guys and had sex with one of them. If this was the opposite and a girl was posting this, no way a guy wouldnt get with another girl physically in three months, esp. if he was being deprived of affection during a relationship. No freaking way. Several of my friends broke up with their long term bfs and got back together with them and are now happy. If they used his logic none of them would be back with them...guess what they are good boyfriends now too despite the fact they got physical with others during their break up period. This is life. Humans have needs and people need to get OVER IT. 1
LittlePrince Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 If this was the opposite and a girl was posting this, no way a guy wouldnt get with another girl physically in three months, esp. if he was being deprived of affection during a relationship. No freaking way.Op didn't.
pbjbear Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Op didn't. I am aware of that. Im just calling out the double standards that exist on this site So its okay for a guy to get with some other women during a break up period, but its NOT okay for a woman. If a woman does it, shes a whore and if a guy does it its no big deal. Grow up and get off your ****ing high horse
Divasu Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Double standards aside, the relationship you had together initially failed. You're going to have to approach this as is if the two of you just met for the first time all over again. And understand that when you first met initially, you both had lives and prior romantic relationships going into it. It will take a lot of maturity on both your parts to move past it. 1
LittlePrince Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Several of my friends broke up with their long term bfs and got back together with them and are now happy. If they used his logic none of them would be back with them...guess what they are good boyfriends now too despite the fact they got physical with others during their break up period. This is life. Humans have needs and people need to get OVER IT. When a woman commits an act of infidelity it is rarely about just getting her rocks off but that there are deeper problems she is having with the relationship. Those guys are probably getting some on the side. Once someone cheats and gets rewarded for it they continue doing it.
KungFuJoe Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 As much as I advocate that you should be able to do what you want when you're single, in cases like this, I usually suggest staying apart. Not that SHE did anything wrong...but I just know that op will never really truly get over the fact that his gf of 2 and a half years slept with someone else within a few months of a break up...compounded with a distance issue...it's a recipe for resentment and distrust. Op, sometimes life just "happens". There is no right or wrong, but there is also no going back and hitting the reset button. I would suggest digging deep and asking yourself, if at the age of 20, that you REALLY feel like she is THE ONE for you. Because if not, I can see this going many different ways, most of them bad, and most ending up with you cheating on her or just breaking up again. 1
pbjbear Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 OP- Stop judging her. If you had the opportunity to have sex with another woman, you would have taken it. If you say you wouldnt, I do not believe you. There is no 20-year-old guy who wouldnt do that. You need to let this go. 2
LittlePrince Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 I am aware of that. Im just calling out the double standards that exist on this site So its okay for a guy to get with some other women during a break up period, but its NOT okay for a woman. If a woman does it, shes a whore and if a guy does it its no big deal. Grow up and get off your ****ing high horse I would have an issue either way but I've been labeled a conservative or even a Republican here.
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