nofool4u Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 What about the OW that seeks out MM's. Throws herself at an MM that has never strayed before? You really think the homewreckers and their apologists care? They have made it clear, they owe nothing to the BS. MM/MW are fair game to them. Don't waste your time.
nofool4u Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 So that realist guy has no morals or ethics w/regards to human relationships therefore taking no responsibility for his behavior... That about sums it up.
Realist3 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 Originally Posted by ComingInHot So that realist guy has no morals or ethics w/regards to human relationships therefore taking no responsibility for his behavior... That about sums it up. I'm not sure where that comment came from, nor the attempted conclusion. I have taken full responsibility.
nofool4u Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 No, you didn't. You don't take full responsibility for those you helped to hurt in the process. You feel you have no responsibility to NOT be a **** to someone simply because you are not married to them. 1
turnera Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 I have taken full responsibility. What did your wife say when you took responsibility by telling her what you've been up to? 1
Author CantgetoveritNY Posted December 7, 2012 Author Posted December 7, 2012 You really think the homewreckers and their apologists care? They have made it clear, they owe nothing to the BS. MM/MW are fair game to them. Don't waste your time. No I do NOT think the OW/OM care. I understand that they believe that MM/MW are fair game. I'm just saying I don't agree with that thinking and I feel free to act upon my own beliefs and values and disregard theirs as they have mine.
Realist3 Posted December 7, 2012 Posted December 7, 2012 What did your wife say when you took responsibility by telling her what you've been up to? She said, "Keep it out of my face." That was the last time we have ever talked about it.
turnera Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 She said, "Keep it out of my face." That was the last time we have ever talked about it. Your cheating or your...? So...you have an open marriage? How many guys is she screwing?
turnera Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 Not true. Someone helping to destroy my life IS my problem and that does not mean I hold my husband less responsible. I am an intelligent woman and I know that just because I hold the OW responsible for her part in the affair does not mean that my husband gets a free pass. Why does everyone think that?? Because you are WASTING TIME AND EFFORT AND THOUGHT on someone who will hereonout have NO EFFECT on your life. And psychologically speaking, you ARE giving your husband at least a PARTIAL free pass by focusing on the mean maneater instead of the man who broke his vows to you. You are rationalizing, that he wouldn't have been SO bad, if it weren't for the hooker who targeted him. Because you don't want to lose him or look like you failed, you blameshift the start of the affair so that it wasn't really your H choosing another woman over you, it was some golddigger giving him an offer he couldn't refuse. None of that helps you restore your marriage.
Author CantgetoveritNY Posted December 8, 2012 Author Posted December 8, 2012 Because you are WASTING TIME AND EFFORT AND THOUGHT on someone who will hereonout have NO EFFECT on your life. I see your point that IF I decide to reject my WS that the OM will become irrelevant to the rest of my life. He is only relevant if I try to reconcile with my WS.
Author CantgetoveritNY Posted December 8, 2012 Author Posted December 8, 2012 Because you are WASTING TIME AND EFFORT AND THOUGHT on someone who will hereonout have NO EFFECT on your life. I see your point that IF I decide to reject my WS that the OM will become irrelevant to the rest of my life. He is only relevant if I try to reconcile with my WS.
Author CantgetoveritNY Posted December 8, 2012 Author Posted December 8, 2012 And psychologically speaking, you ARE giving your husband at least a PARTIAL free pass by focusing on the mean maneater instead of the man who broke his vows to you. You are rationalizing, that he wouldn't have been SO bad, if it weren't for the hooker who targeted him. Because you don't want to lose him or look like you failed, you blameshift the start of the affair so that it wasn't really your H choosing another woman over you, it was some golddigger giving him an offer he couldn't refuse. None of that helps you restore your marriage. Point well taken. I can see that to minimize my wife's role in the affair is detrimental to reconciliation. However, my wrath remains fully with the unscrupulous rapist predator that stalked my wife.
ComingInHot Posted December 8, 2012 Posted December 8, 2012 It seems to me that a common theme among all except (maybe) the WS is "be True to your heart. I'm kind of seeing the True part of that statement should be TRUTH to yourself and if that is the case then possibly a sense of "duty" to be truthful w/the BS? Pretty good CIH logic, or maybe just a bunch of Doody.
Author CantgetoveritNY Posted December 9, 2012 Author Posted December 9, 2012 It seems to me that a common theme among all except (maybe) the WS is "be True to your heart. I'm kind of seeing the True part of that statement should be TRUTH to yourself and if that is the case then possibly a sense of "duty" to be truthful w/the BS? Pretty good CIH logic, or maybe just a bunch of Doody. Are you saying you think I'm not seeing the truth of my situation?
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