keith99 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 (edited) I left my wife 9 months ago. She was a control freak and really not nice to me at all. We had a 9 year old son and I stayed for his sake. Anyway we lived in Australia. I moved back to the uk as I had no family support at all. I did try and tell her that if things didnt change I was going to leave, this seemed to make her even worse so I just gave up and left. So I met a really great girl, shes 20 years younger than me. I am 42. We have a really great relationship and despite my worries over the age difference she dosent care and sees a real future. My wife did a quickie divorce then suddenly started contacting me. Bearing in mind during our breaking up she told me she had another guy. She wants us to get back together. At first I rejected everything she said but now finally I wanna go home. I miss my son so much and I miss my home. I really love my girlfriend but I dont see a future as I think Im way too old. Any advice please. I am pretty much going to buy a ticket and go home. I dont know how to tell my parents or my girlfriend. She knows how much i miss my son so she does know Im unhappy but my parents will be very angry as they really disliked my wife. I have these horrible sleepless nights worrying. Edited December 5, 2012 by keith99
NeverPlayaPlayer Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Of course you miss your son but imo this is your reasoning behind using the excuse that you dont see a future with your current girlfriend. At the end of the day you have to do what your heart and head say and the most important thing is your involvement in your sons life. Whether your ex has changed only time will tell. Be honest with your girlfriend and tell her whats happened and at the end of the day your son and your re-connection with him is what youve got to consider, even if it means getting back with your ex wife. 1
Author keith99 Posted December 5, 2012 Author Posted December 5, 2012 It boils down to the fact that I love my son more than my girlfriend and I really cant live without seeing him. I was angry at my ex wife as she was a controlling person who refused to change. My girlfriend knows how much this has effected me. I just feel so horrible breaking up with her and telling my parents.
NeverPlayaPlayer Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 of course mate but your son takes priority obviously and if your current gf really cares about you, she may well be angry and upset but she'll at least understand the reasoning. Be honest. The big question to you, is what WILL you do when and if you find out your ex wife has not changed thats what you need to consider too. 1
KatZee Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Why can't you move closer to your ex-wife and continue on with the relationship with your girlfriend? Why is it all or nothing? I doubt your ex-wife has changed much she's spent the entire marriage not treating you right and even your parents saw that. You're going to wind up back in a loveless marriage only for the sake of your son? Your son will grow up in that dysfunction and he will be able to see the tension between you and your ex-wife. That won't be good for him either. 2
Author keith99 Posted December 5, 2012 Author Posted December 5, 2012 it would mean we would both have to move from the uk to australia and she has another of study. Im just thinking of being with my son and how much I dislike living in the UK. I do still love my ex wife even though she treated me like crap I know she wont change.
Sugarkane Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Your ex wife sounds like my dad. I find it highly unlikely someone like that will ever change.
Author keith99 Posted December 6, 2012 Author Posted December 6, 2012 I know going back to her is a dumb idea. I generally love my girlfriend, shes kind and doesnt scream at me and we have a really great loving relationship. On the other hand I miss my son so much. I was his primary carer, did all the house work and had a full time job. She was a high flying career woman who treated me like a servant. She nagged at me 24-7, nothing I did was ever good enough, she accused me of affairs when I never even looked at another woman. She controlled all the money including keeping the bank cards. I know the smart thing to do is wait until my girlfriend finishes her masters then we both move to Australia but thats at least a year away and nine months away from my son has been torture. I never wanted to leave but she really pushed me and left me little choice. I feel so guilty.
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