What's going on?

[hopelessromantic12]

I’m in university living in halls and around two months ago I met this boy in a club, which I recognised from the ‘lifts’. We were both drunk and got on well, and just went along with the night and seen what would happen and we ended up sleeping together.

 

I know from experience after having a ‘one night stand’ it’s just a ‘one night thing’ and therefore my emotions just shut off. However, during the week after attending some of my lectures I realised that he was in ALL of my lectures. How could I avoid this? I couldn’t. I didn’t really think much of it in the first couple of weeks after, and just thought I’d totally avoid eye contact, speaking and the ‘situation’. However, this isn’t what I truly wanted – I know that the more i seen him (which I could not avoid) the more I would like him.

Basically, all I want to know if he is kind of interested in me and are these signs?

 

So anyway, in lectures I would get that feeling you know which you get when you feel someone is looking at you? And it’d be him. But when I’d catch him, he would look away.. I thought I was going crazy but he kept doing it and doing it all of the time. And to this day, he still does. Even my friends comment on the fact that he’s looking and he looks a lot.

 

“There is frequent eye contact: You always notice him watch you, and then, when you look back at him, he pretends to look behind you or starts looking elsewhere, like the floor for example! That seems to be their favorite spot for escape. This is the topmost among the signs a shy guy likes you! When he is caught looking at you, he pretends to look behind you or past you, then notice carefully, he is still looking at you! You can make out from his eyes that he wasn’t just looking at you, he was watching you.”

 

In every lecture I would notice that he would either sit a couple of rows in front of me, or on the other side of the lecture theatre positioned in a spot where we would be able to see each other. (although don’t know whether this is a coincidence) but this has happened since I realised he was in lectures. There is frequent eye contact and sometimes we hold this, then look away.

“He tends to choose a place where you are always in front of his sight: If he has many options but always chooses to sit or be at a spot where he can easily and silently watch you, then, ‘ahem ahem’, there is a possibility that he likes you! Does that happen in your case? Well if it does, the shy guy is into you signs are at their beginning!”

 

We have never had a conversation, but have slightly smiled at each other. I would go up and talk to him but I am very shy when it comes to boys I like.

When he is around my presence when bumping into me say in the lifts, waiting outside the lecture theatres, walking back he is usually very quiet, fidgety, acknowledges me by looking for a few second then looks away – but I still feel him looking at me when I’m not looking. As i have never plucked up the courage to speak to him, I could not say whether this is normal behaviour for him and if he is very shy.. However, he does have a few close girl friends who he seems to get along with fine and is chatty and comfortable- then with his friends he acts just like any boy would.

 

“His body language is different towards you: Notice the body language. He is all cool and open with others, but, when it comes to you, he turns out to be very quiet, shy, hesitant and reluctant to be friendly with you. Now, you will tend to misunderstand this as if the guy is trying to ignore you and that the guy doesn’t like you. But he is madly head over heels for you! That’s why he can’t get the courage to speak to you or even look at you when he knows you are looking at him. If you notice carefully, his face will go red and palms will go all wet when you are around. Don’t try to touch his palms to check on that, he will definitely freak out!”

 

Anyways, I feel very feel uneasy and nervous around him due to the fact I like him and that I do not want him to think I was easy just because I had sex with him on the first time I met him. Sometimes to become confident again I do stupid little things, which will definitely give him the wrong impressions that I do not like him. Such as, avoiding eye contact, pretending I didn’t see him, looking the other way, walking the other way, not speaking to him etc.

I know people will say, you will only know the definite answer by asking him, but as I have said I am shy. Basically, I just want to know people’s thoughts and opinions upon this situation and what do you think I should do. Should I approach him? What should I say? Do you think he’s showing signs of interest and is shy about the situation? Do you think he feels uneasy and nervous as much as I do around him? I would appreciate any answers, as we break up for Christmas next week and I would like to do something before then as I won’t see him for a couple of weeks.

 

Thank you for reading this

[clia]

I don't give two craps about his body language or if he is gazing adoringly at you from across the classroom. The two of you had sex. I assume you gave him your phone number at the end of it? And you are seeing him practically every day in class or the halls? And he hasn't said a word to you in the weeks since you got naked with him? Really? Not even "hello"? He is not interested in a relationship with you. The end. Move on.

 

I do not want him to think I was easy just because I had sex with him on the first time I met him

 

Too late. Don't have sex with guys the first time you meet them if you don't want them to think you are easy.

 

I'm sorry to be blunt, but you are likely reading way more into this situation than is there. Believe me, I know that as women we want to analyze everything men do and say. However, most of the time there is nothing there. You have already wasted weeks (?) thinking about a guy who didn't even have the courtesy to say "hello" to you after you got naked with him! Do not waste anymore time. Go home for Christmas, have fun, and when you come back from break go out and find new guy who is actually interested in dating you.

[Ninjainpajamas]

So you met at a guy in a club that you sort of recognized but not enough to have ever talked to him and notice that he was in all of your classes, yet you the "shy girl" ends up getting drunk, sleeping with him and... who knows how the next day went...obviously you just shot out the door it seems without a word...but you don't want him to think you are easy?

 

Out of curiosity what in the world would you consider easy if that isn't?

 

I'm going to go sit on the street corner and panhandle for money but I don't want anyone to think I am a bum/drug addict/poor.

 

Of course, this might not be a regular thing that you do, but what does it look like?

 

You can't go back and make him work for something and see you as something different when the guy has already been in your vagina, the cat is already out of the bag, it can never go back like it never happened.

 

Now he sounds shy, and so do you...In my opinion he should have talked to you and been the one to break the ice as a man, and at least treat you like he acknowledges you and isn't going to recognize you or avoid it.

 

But you both sound young, he's probably a little shy over the situation itself too as he may not be experienced either. And he probably wanted to say something and speak up but did not.

 

The last thing I would do is take advice from your friend on this, female friends on average give horrible advice, mostly what you want to hear and see and they're usually way off and just as fooled by everything as you are by men.

 

Just make this easy...go up to him and talk to him, see how he reacts...see if he opens up and talks to you and starts blabbing away at this or that or just ignores you and acts like he doesn't even know you or that you matter.

 

He should have made a move IMO, the fact that he hasn't either means he's a coward or just doesn't know how to handle the situation at this point. But you both slept together already, that should have given him enough incentive to speak with you at the least, so I don't like this guy because of that already. The way he has handled this is extremely poor, even for a young guy, he should have better sense than that.

[pbjbear]

Youre young and everyone makes mistakes (esp when they are young) so Im not harping on you..Ive been there.

 

Dont sleep with a guy the first night. Id actually recommend not sleeping with a guy in the first 5 dates.

 

You cannot get to know someone well on 5 dates- most people put on a front.

 

I read a study somewhere that found 80% of men view a one night stand as not being relationship material. He could be one of the 20% (I know a few relationships that started as a one night stand...but its rare) but based on his behavior since then I would say hes not.

 

The fact that hes looking at you doesnt mean anything- he had sex with you.

 

But hes not showing any interest otherwise.

 

Sorry. Best to move on and if you want a relationship with a guy, dont give it up so quickly.