aussietigerwolf Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Ask him... This is not the 1800s... If you want to marry the guy and he hasn't asked you, then ask him.
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 (edited) Are you being serious? Who would do that? I mean does that mean that the woman should buy the ring too? It just seems off, if he can't ask me then he deserves to be left. This is why I honestly believe feminism has killed society. Everyone is like "oh women have equal rights, they are equal so they should buy their own meals, send the first text, open their own doors, ask men to marry them, etc.." And its like NO I don't want to be equal I want to be taken care of and feel like a man is a man and I am a woman. It just confuses the role of men and is bad. Edited December 5, 2012 by ImperfectionisBeauty 1
Author aussietigerwolf Posted December 5, 2012 Author Posted December 5, 2012 *demurely waits to be married off to a good match by her father* 3
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 *demurely waits to be married off to a good match by her father* Lol I don't mean we have to go THAT far back lol but a guy should ask a girl. 1
BetheButterfly Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Ask him... This is not the 1800s... If you want to marry the guy and he hasn't asked you, then ask him. You can't get a guy to marry you. In the West in this day and age, a man will normally marry the person he loves trusts wants to have a family with - children:bunny: sees himself growing old with Sure a woman can ask a man to marry her. However, not all women want to do that. I didn't want to ask my boyfriend to marry me, no siree!!! To me, it was so important when he asked me to marry him!!! He knew that it was important to me because of a romantic movie we watched where I was gushing over the proposal. His proposing to me is a very romantic and precious memory to me. We have been married for more than a year now and neither one of us has regretted his offer of marriage to me. Yes it's not the 1800s, but for many women, the man she loves getting on one knee and asking for her hand in marriage is extremely romantic, and when coupled with true love, is a dynamite memory that many happily married women treasure forever!!! :love: 1
BetheButterfly Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Are you being serious? Who would do that? I mean does that mean that the woman should buy the ring too? It just seems off, if he can't ask me then he deserves to be left. Lol. The woman should also ask for the permission or blessing from the parents of the man. Didn't you know that? My husband doesn't believe in asking permission from my parents to marry me, but he did ask my Dad for his blessing!!! It was so sweet!!! It was so funny too because he was a bit nervous. It showed me though how much he loves me and also how much he respects my Dad (and Mom). This is why I honestly believe feminism has killed society. Everyone is like "oh women have equal rights, they are equal so they should buy their own meals, send the first text, open their own doors, ask men to marry them, etc.." And its like NO I don't want to be equal I want to be taken care of and feel like a man is a man and I am a woman. It just confuses the role of men and is bad. I consider myself equal to a man. I don't believe women are inferior at all to men, but rather are equals with men. However, I do believe men and women are different. Obviously, our bodies are different, and I do think that different is good! "Old fashioned" ideas about the man caring for and providing for his wife are not what makes marriages bad, nor is the idea of a wife cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. "New fashioned" ideas about men and women both going to work full-time, dropping the kids off at the daycare/school and picking them up at the daycare, and so on are also not what makes marriages bad. What makes marriages unhealthy is when couples begin to attack each other, not appreciate each other, and not grow their marriage into a strong "tree" that can endure the trials of life. Interestingly, I have heard from elderly people who have been happily married for a long time that mutual respect and admiration is part of the glue that keeps couples together. That mutual respect and admiration includes each person in the couple knowing who they are, their role in the marriage, and enjoying their role, as well as respecting and appreciating their partner and their partner's role. Marriage is not a competition. Marriage is a team where the couple ideally complements each other and works together, instead of fighting each other!!! I wonder if one reason why marriages are suffering is because many people don't understand that?
grkBoy Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 My suggestions to women: 1. Make sure the man you get into a relationship with knows you want to get married in life and possibly have kids. I'm not saying you bring this out in the first few dates, but when it gets serious into monogamy...make sure he knows where this is heading and where he must go if he wants to keep you. 2. Set a REALISTIC "deadline" in your mind for a proposal. A few months isn't realistic, but you shouldn't be in a RL for 7-10 years and wonder when he'll pop the question. Be ready to break up with him when the deadline hits. Now if you're older and the bio clock is ticking, I dunno what to tell you. Men don't like to be rushed into life-long commitments...even if it means passing up the chance for offspring. 3. Don't look at the bridal mags, Pinterest, and celebrity weddings as the "ideal" of a wedding. You'll never get that extravagant a wedding in your life. 4. Desire a marriage...not a wedding. Many men can spot the women who seem more infatuated with the ring/dress/day than with the days after. 7
Necromancer Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Lol. The woman should also ask for the permission or blessing from the parents of the man. Didn't you know that? My husband doesn't believe in asking permission from my parents to marry me, but he did ask my Dad for his blessing!!! It was so sweet!!! It was so funny too because he was a bit nervous. It showed me though how much he loves me and also how much he respects my Dad (and Mom). I consider myself equal to a man. I don't believe women are inferior at all to men, but rather are equals with men. However, I do believe men and women are different. Obviously, our bodies are different, and I do think that different is good! "Old fashioned" ideas about the man caring for and providing for his wife are not what makes marriages bad, nor is the idea of a wife cooking, cleaning, and taking care of the kids. "New fashioned" ideas about men and women both going to work full-time, dropping the kids off at the daycare/school and picking them up at the daycare, and so on are also not what makes marriages bad. What makes marriages unhealthy is when couples begin to attack each other, not appreciate each other, and not grow their marriage into a strong "tree" that can endure the trials of life. Interestingly, I have heard from elderly people who have been happily married for a long time that mutual respect and admiration is part of the glue that keeps couples together. That mutual respect and admiration includes each person in the couple knowing who they are, their role in the marriage, and enjoying their role, as well as respecting and appreciating their partner and their partner's role. Marriage is not a competition. Marriage is a team where the couple ideally complements each other and works together, instead of fighting each other!!! I wonder if one reason why marriages are suffering is because many people don't understand that? Men are much better built than women by nature (Thank test). Take sports as example, nobody wants to watch female football they are to slow compared to men. Womans body is inferior to mans.
BetheButterfly Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 My suggestions to women: 1. Make sure the man you get into a relationship with knows you want to get married in life and possibly have kids. I'm not saying you bring this out in the first few dates, but when it gets serious into monogamy...make sure he knows where this is heading and where he must go if he wants to keep you. 2. Set a REALISTIC "deadline" in your mind for a proposal. A few months isn't realistic, but you shouldn't be in a RL for 7-10 years and wonder when he'll pop the question. Be ready to break up with him when the deadline hits. Now if you're older and the bio clock is ticking, I dunno what to tell you. Men don't like to be rushed into life-long commitments...even if it means passing up the chance for offspring. 3. Don't look at the bridal mags, Pinterest, and celebrity weddings as the "ideal" of a wedding. You'll never get that extravagant a wedding in your life. 4. Desire a marriage...not a wedding. Many men can spot the women who seem more infatuated with the ring/dress/day than with the days after. Awesome advice. I love point #4. Weddings are beautiful and precious memories, but they are most definitely not what make a marriage strong, beautiful, and healthy!!!
iris219 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Ask him... The women I know did. I don't know a single woman who was surprised by a proposal. They all knew it was coming because the woman either demanded it (a few even set the date) or they planned it together.
danny in van Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 here's an alternate angle u should really consider: you are competing with lots of other girls out there (as are the guys with other guys...) You want a man to agree to be with you and only you FOREVER. That's a huge decision and promise. Why and when would I agree to that (given that I have choice)? She's nice etc funny etc...but she better be as sexual or more than any of the other competitors! IE if you are worse in bed than what he's had- or what he wants, then it's only time b4 marriage fails - or he never asks in 1st place. So my advice? Watch a lot of porn to see where the bar is set IE I don't mean porn stars either , cuz they're weird people. I mean there are LOTS of amateur girls online that are doing kinda everything in bed...And I see it in my dating life: most girls these days give pro style bjs etc etc I believe cuz they've seen a lot of porn and they think 'damn I better raise my game!' And they have! I'm in my 40s and the quality of sex has gone up I think cuz of porn (girls are not nearly as prudish as 20 yrs ago when porn was hard to find) . Now everyone has taken a look. So my roundabout message is- don't be prudish in bed- instead be his twisted sexual fantasy (and a cool smart girl by day) and you will def increase chances he wants to marry you. You may land a guy AND be prudish in bed- but believe me he'll be thinking about (and or eventually try to pursue) porn style sex.
Taramere Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 here's an alternate angle u should really consider: you are competing with lots of other girls out there (as are the guys with other guys...) You want a man to agree to be with you and only you FOREVER. That's a huge decision and promise. Why and when would I agree to that (given that I have choice)? She's nice etc funny etc...but she better be as sexual or more than any of the other competitors! IE if you are worse in bed than what he's had- or what he wants, then it's only time b4 marriage fails - or he never asks in 1st place. So my advice? Watch a lot of porn to see where the bar is set IE I don't mean porn stars either , cuz they're weird people. I mean there are LOTS of amateur girls online that are doing kinda everything in bed...And I see it in my dating life: most girls these days give pro style bjs etc etc I believe cuz they've seen a lot of porn and they think 'damn I better raise my game!' And they have! I'm in my 40s and the quality of sex has gone up I think cuz of porn (girls are not nearly as prudish as 20 yrs ago when porn was hard to find) . Now everyone has taken a look. So my roundabout message is- don't be prudish in bed- instead be his twisted sexual fantasy (and a cool smart girl by day) and you will def increase chances he wants to marry you. You may land a guy AND be prudish in bed- but believe me he'll be thinking about (and or eventually try to pursue) porn style sex. Dad, I keep telling you. I don't want to get married. 1
Art_Critic Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 My suggestions to women: 1. Make sure the man you get into a relationship with knows you want to get married in life and possibly have kids. I'm not saying you bring this out in the first few dates, but when it gets serious into monogamy...make sure he knows where this is heading and where he must go if he wants to keep you. 2. Set a REALISTIC "deadline" in your mind for a proposal. A few months isn't realistic, but you shouldn't be in a RL for 7-10 years and wonder when he'll pop the question. Be ready to break up with him when the deadline hits. Now if you're older and the bio clock is ticking, I dunno what to tell you. Men don't like to be rushed into life-long commitments...even if it means passing up the chance for offspring. 3. Don't look at the bridal mags, Pinterest, and celebrity weddings as the "ideal" of a wedding. You'll never get that extravagant a wedding in your life. 4. Desire a marriage...not a wedding. Many men can spot the women who seem more infatuated with the ring/dress/day than with the days after. Excellent post, and if that doesn't work then every morning wake him up by sitting on his face and in 60 days he will pop the question 1
xxoo Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 The women I know did. I don't know a single woman who was surprised by a proposal. They all knew it was coming because the woman either demanded it (a few even set the date) or they planned it together. We planned together--no proposal, no engagement ring. No regrets 2
sweetjasmine Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Here's my patented foolproof plan : (1) Find a man who you're compatible with and who actually wants to get married some day. This requires actually asking about it. (2) See if you can maintain a healthy relationship for an extended period of time. If not, start over at (1). (3) Discuss the issue of marriage (this requires opening your mouth and talking directly about it, but without pressure or demands) and decide what each of you wants. If you're on the same page, go ahead to (4a). If you're not on the same page, decide whether you want to go ahead to (4b) or start over at (1). (4a) Proceed with your agreed upon plan to marry. (4b) Maintain the relationship without marriage. 2
danny in van Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Dad, I keep telling you. I don't want to get married. Not sure what this strange comment means...but my response is actually very helpful- if the guy in question is a catch (thus has options). If you think a guy is not conflicted about agreeing to sleep w one woman FOREVER, then I know you are a) a girl or b) a guy with no options. Anyway, you better take into account that it's a competition. Those who don't are actually quite narcissistic 'oh he should love me for me' (meaning 'no matter how fat I am, or I get, or how lame I am in bed he SHOULD love me forever') It's delusional thinking started by obsessive parents who said 'you're unique!'
xxoo Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Here's my patented foolproof plan : (1) Find a man who you're compatible with and who actually wants to get married some day. This requires actually asking about it. (2) See if you can maintain a healthy relationship for an extended period of time. If not, start over at (1). (3) Discuss the issue of marriage (this requires opening your mouth and talking directly about it, but without pressure or demands) and decide what each of you wants. If you're on the same page, go ahead to (4a). If you're not on the same page, decide whether you want to go ahead to (4b) or start over at (1). (4a) Proceed with your agreed upon plan to marry. (4b) Maintain the relationship without marriage. What kind of "woman logic" is that?!
crude Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 And its like NO I don't want to be equal I want to be taken care of and feel like a man is a man and I am a woman. It just confuses the role of men and is bad. Is a man a man if he believes in equality, and is a woman a woman if she does too? If you want to be taken care of, it means you might just be lazy, cheap, cowardly, and a waste of air.
grkBoy Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Excellent post, and if that doesn't work then every morning wake him up by sitting on his face and in 60 days he will pop the question https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CxVKtNkQAtw
runningfar Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Every relationship I have been in (granted I've just not been in that many; spent all dating life in long term relationships) has resulted in proposal. I am pretty sure that's where this one is headed, too - though it's too early yet. But I wouldn't ask. I don't know, I don't have anything against those who do but it would not feel right to me. I think men want to get married just as much as women do-- I mean, married men live longer... they get a lot of support and care, it works out pretty well
zig Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Ask him... This is not the 1800s... If you want to marry the guy and he hasn't asked you, then ask him. No, big freaking mistake. It's the mans job to ask. If I had a girl that I was on the fence with; or waiting for the right time to ask her and she beat me to it I'd most likely dump her in a second. Sad but true. 1
ImperfectionisBeauty Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Is a man a man if he believes in equality, and is a woman a woman if she does too? If you want to be taken care of, it means you might just be lazy, cheap, cowardly, and a waste of air. No a woman should want to be taken care of by her man, the way I see it we will take care of eachother. He will provide for me and his family and I will keep meals cooked, a clean house, clean fed happy children and do everything I can to make him happy.
Author aussietigerwolf Posted December 6, 2012 Author Posted December 6, 2012 No, big freaking mistake. It's the mans job to ask. If I had a girl that I was on the fence with; or waiting for the right time to ask her and she beat me to it I'd most likely dump her in a second. Sad but true. That says a lot about your true feelings for her...
movingon12 Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 I asked my first husband on 29th February (as per tradition) - he said yes. I knew he was saving up to buy an engagement ring before he asked me, but as he'd gotten it into his head that he had to spend 3 months wages (not what I wanted at all), and given his lack of any financial sense whatsoever, I also knew I would be dead and buried before he'd saved up enough to buy it - so either I asked, or we didn't get married.
CptObvious Posted December 6, 2012 Posted December 6, 2012 Here's my patented foolproof plan : (1) Find a man who you're compatible with and who actually wants to get married some day. This requires actually asking about it. (2) See if you can maintain a healthy relationship for an extended period of time. If not, start over at (1). (3) Discuss the issue of marriage (this requires opening your mouth and talking directly about it, but without pressure or demands) and decide what each of you wants. If you're on the same page, go ahead to (4a). If you're not on the same page, decide whether you want to go ahead to (4b) or start over at (1). (4a) Proceed with your agreed upon plan to marry. (4b) Maintain the relationship without marriage. gentlemen, don't forget to protect your houses and cars. They are all you have in this world, so don't risk it.
Recommended Posts