I feel like I become more isolated every day.

[shadow15]

I got out of a 2 year relationship about 2 months ago, but I'm still having trouble getting everything out of my mind, I feel like I can't get everything out of my head and its killing me. My family is starting to get worried and saying I act different and not happy anymore. I can honestly say I'm not happy, with the break up, school finals, plus work being the drag it is, I'm just in the big rut lately. Im tired of the same thing every day, i want change in the hardest way possible but I feel as if I'm making myself the hardest book to open now, and I was already a tough cookie to crack. I'm more of a mystery lately, I'm slowly wanting to put myself before others; however, that's not who I am but I feel like I deserve it. I don't know I feel like this whole break up in general and taking the way I see life differently. I'm wanting to change myself, start working out more often, be more confident, meet new people without a care, and just me time, but I don't have the time too, after I go to class all day then work, it's hard to push yourself to do something extra at 10 o clock at night. I guess I'm just stressed and I should take that stress and make it as my goal for change.

 

One thing I miss the most is that thought that somebody cares enough about you to wanna talk to you every day just to talk, I guess I miss having somebody for comfort and to hold while they tell me everything is going be ok. Sorry for the rant, I just wanted to vent before I layed down.

[Kateskates]

Be the change you wish to see in the world! Go get em! You can do it..this rut will fade eventually you've just gotta slowly work your way into doing these "extra" things for yourself. Plan to go out with your friends go clubbing idk just have fun, cause YOLO. Really though. Just do it. Don't let this break up control your life. Sure you're going to be thinking about him from time to time or maybe like all the time, but try to control the amount you think about him. It will fade eventually. Focus on the little things that make you happy and wake up every morning thinking positive thoughts. Taylor swift helps also.

[BUBS]

I can completely relate to your post in many ways. It was very overwhelming to lose my ex fiance in the midst of a semester where I booked more than full time classes unaware that I would have to deal with all this grief and pain. What I find is that from square one I rationalized the way you did, but again have had absolutely no success in really getting my foot in the door when it comes to actually applying the goals I have to become a better person for myself, or more pampering to myself. I have always put other people first, especially my relationships, and it is difficult to be anything but hard on myself for the fact that he didn't love me anymore or want me, or was bored or whatever. It feels like a failure. (I'm getting to a point, not trying to make you more miserable).

 

I found a great deal of my desire to become this better person was a desire to be someone completely different than the girl he left, the girl he no longer loved. I felt that by completely changing my life and also building confidence that if I was no longer the girl he rejected personality wise, that it would no longer hurt, that I could brush it off and say "He doesn't know me anymore to know whether or not he would love me". Or something along those lines. Of course these goals were also created because its obvious that more self-love, more self-care, and more accomplishment certainly cannot hinder the healing process of a broken heart with the exception of the occasional "pangs" of grief for the fact that you cannot share those accomplishments with the person you loved that left that you have grown accustomed too.

 

What I am going to say is don't put all your eggs in one basket when it comes to goals. Like you mentioned, you want to do a lot but don't have the time. I am in the same boat, with battling emotions, school and work, I find very little time to even function on those planes let alone incorporate a diet routine or anything else to better myself at this point in time, and more recently I'm realizing that desiring this CHANGE so much, its actually hurting me more because I cannot find the time or motivation to even begin, and because when I do start I am so emotionally isolated or damaged that if I don't feel an immense sense of accomplishment for having begun the process of change, I get extremely discouraged that it all wont do anything for me and that I'll just be some hollowed out shell with abs.

 

Take a step back and assess what you are obligated to do first, which is your responsibilities. If you are keeping yourself busy at work or school and you cannot find the energy to move mountains, continue with baby steps. Substitute one meal a day with whole food, something healthy, nourishing and satisfying. Your brain will function better the more nutritionally balanced your meals are. Focus on getting at least half your weight in ounces of water daily. Make small changes. You may not be able to get to the gym but you can focus on pampering yourself in other ways that will make you feel more rested and put together and possibly in the long run give you more energy to accomplish the bigger tasks at hand and larger goals.

 

Your environment is essential to your well being right now. Treat your body like it is a sick baby and nurture it with plenty of rest, fluids, and warmth. Keep your surroundings clean and tidy, keep yourself clean and presentable, take time out to have some time to process your thoughts. I am 2 months out of a three/six year relationship and I understand entirely what its like to not be able to get your head on track or the thoughts to stop. Whenever you are really consumed with thoughts, pray... I am not religious and its still nice to talk to "something".

 

Small steps first, If you run up to a mountain and rush, you'll be winded when the time comes to actually climb it and really get to the other side of your life where you are satisfied once again.