magicallydelicious Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 i met this guy through mutual friends about a week and a half ago. we all went out together, and the two of us hit it off. we ended up coming back to my place and hooking up...multiple times. the next day we went out to brunch, and he hung out all afternoon with me. he then texted me a few days later, and we chatted throughout the week. we went out on an actual date last Friday and it went really well. we ended up going back to my place and hooking up again. at one point the next morning, he also made a comment saying "that's why we fit so well together", but I can't remember what it was referring to. the next day I went out with our mutual friends (he already had plans and couldn't go), and I found out that the Sunday after we hooked up, he texted one of my friends and told her that he had a great time with me and he thinks I'm funny and fun and he's glad he decided to go out with us. I also found out that when my other friend invited him out with us, she told him I'd be there and she said he was being all coy, asking "do you really think she likes me?" last night he texted, and he was out with his friends (he lives about 4 hours away during the week because of his job), and we chatted. then he said his friends were comparing scandalous pics of their girls and asked if I had any he could show me off with. so I sent a few PG-13 ones. he also said 'i'm a little scandalous...you'll get to know that". i think I'm really starting to like this guy. do you guys think he may be feeling the same way, or does it sound more of a f*** buddy situation? help please!
veggirl Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 s.hittt sending sexy photos so he can show his friends? why would you do that? and a guy that compares those with his buddies?!?!?! really? that...interests you? why? I would guess FWB situation here, esp with the "you'll find out I'm scandelous" stuff...he's telling you he gets around... 3
Author magicallydelicious Posted December 5, 2012 Author Posted December 5, 2012 they weren't very scandalous pictures--like i said, they were just PG13. i wasn't naked or anything. and i enjoy "sexting". i like sex, and i really enjoy it with him.
veggirl Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 they weren't very scandalous pictures--like i said, they were just PG13. i wasn't naked or anything. and i enjoy "sexting". i like sex, and i really enjoy it with him. Oookay. Well, you've set the precedent here then. It's a sexual relationship, that's it. He gets pics on command, so that he can show his buddies (!!), and you've fked him a week and a half in w/o any question of commitment on either end. If you are concerned about what he wants, you really should establish that BEFORE you engage in sex / getting attached. Why don't you just ask him? If you guys are cozy enough to fk, surely you are comfortable enough to ask a simple question? 1
Author magicallydelicious Posted December 5, 2012 Author Posted December 5, 2012 we hooked up the first night we met. i rarely do that, but it seemed right. at the time, i wasn't sure it would go beyond a one night stand, but he continued to pursue me, we went on a date, etc. i can tell that you disagree with that, and that's fine. i'm just asking for opinions on what others think is going through his mind, not condescending responses.
SJC2008 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Oookay. Well, you've set the precedent here then. It's a sexual relationship, that's it. He gets pics on command, so that he can show his buddies (!!), and you've fked him a week and a half in w/o any question of commitment on either end. If you are concerned about what he wants, you really should establish that BEFORE you engage in sex / getting attached. Why don't you just ask him? If you guys are cozy enough to fk, surely you are comfortable enough to ask a simple question? Great point but it seems like we live in a society where words are more powerful than sex?? People are afraid to lay down their boundaries, relationship goals, needs and wants. It's not always as easy as it sounds but it is doable, especially if you meet someone who beleives communication is importat. OP there's nothing wrong with being a sexual woman! But if you're looking for a relationship you're gonna need to keep the lid on the cookie jar a little longer and learn to vocalize what you're looking for:}
NoMoreJerks Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 we hooked up the first night we met. i rarely do that, but it seemed right. at the time, i wasn't sure it would go beyond a one night stand, but he continued to pursue me, we went on a date, etc. i can tell that you disagree with that, and that's fine. i'm just asking for opinions on what others think is going through his mind, not condescending responses. This does not mean that he is romantically interested in you. It could also mean that he found someone willing to have sex with him without any strings attached. Why would anyone not pursue that?
Author magicallydelicious Posted December 5, 2012 Author Posted December 5, 2012 i understand it doesn't mean he's romantically interested--that's why i asked. to be honest, i barely knew him when i slept with him...the chemistry was there, and that's why i pursued it. i didn't know that i'd even like him enough to want a relationship, but it turns out that i do. thanks for the opinions.
Mr Scorpio Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 (edited) i'm just asking for opinions on what others think is going through his mind, not condescending responses. "Man, I'm so sick of driving four hours each way to get to work! I'm hungry and its hard to scratch everywhere I need to when I'm wearing this seatbelt! Let me just... ahhh that's better! Yeah that's it! Man. I can't wait for the weekend to get here... no way I'm losing my fantasy matchup this week. Damn 49ers defense ****ed me over last week. At least that sandwich I had was good. If... if I was going to make a 'Mount Rushmore' of sandwiches, I'd have a meatloaf sandwich with horseradish, a turkey-bacon club, a corned beef with thousand island dressing and mayonaise-based coleslaw, and a PBJ with honey roasted peanut butter. Damnit... now I'm really hungry... I think there's an Arby's up at the next highway exit. They have good mozzarella sticks. I like cheese... and fireworks and guitar solos and BJs. Like, if they made a firework that exploded into a pattern that depicted fellatio, and there was a guitar solo playing when it went off. Maybe I should quit this job and start my own t-shirt company. No! Sports bar! No! Brewery! Yeah... that'd show em. That'd show em all. Roll me up in a urine soaked carpet on homecoming night. Isn't going to be so funny when I... oh damnit I passed the Arbys! Damnit!" Edited December 5, 2012 by Mr Scorpio 2
SmileFace Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 "Man, I'm so sick of driving four hours each way to get to work! I'm hungry and its hard to scratch everywhere I need to when I'm wearing this seatbelt! Let me just... ahhh that's better! Yeah that's it! Man. I can't wait for the weekend to get here... no way I'm losing my fantasy matchup this week. Damn 49ers defense ****ed me over last week. At least that sandwich I had was good. If... if I was going to make a 'Mount Rushmore' of sandwiches, I'd have a meatloaf sandwich with horseradish, a turkey-bacon club, a corned beef with thousand island dressing and mayonaise-based coleslaw, and a PBJ with honey roasted peanut butter. Damnit... now I'm really hungry... I think there's an Arby's up at the next highway exit. They have good mozzarella sticks. I like cheese... and fireworks and guitar solos and BJs. Like, if they made a firework that exploded into a pattern that depicted fellatio, and there was a guitar solo playing when it went off. Maybe I should quit this job and start my own t-shirt company. No! Sports bar! No! Brewery! Yeah... that'd show em. That'd show em all. Roll me up in a urine soaked carpet on homecoming night. Isn't going to be so funny when I... oh damnit I passed the Arbys! Damnit!" Haha... I laughed so hard I cried...lmfao
TaurusTerp Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 i understand it doesn't mean he's romantically interested--that's why i asked. to be honest, i barely knew him when i slept with him...the chemistry was there, and that's why i pursued it. i didn't know that i'd even like him enough to want a relationship, but it turns out that i do. thanks for the opinions. It's possible for relationships to come out of what initially seemed like a one night stand or short-term hookup. But it's up to you to make your preferences known. How on earth would we know what he's thinking. Go talk to him.
bolase Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Hi OP. I think it sounds like it has potential. think of something cool to do - different, outdoors, check out some new place, anything. ask him to meet you there at a time, place, be in charge of that. have fun then go your own way home. then the feedback from that will tell you how he views you. If he thinks you two have potential as a couple, he would be stoked that you organized a date and pulled it off!
Author magicallydelicious Posted December 5, 2012 Author Posted December 5, 2012 thanks for the responses, everyone. i agree that it is something that should be discussed. one thing i didn't mention is that he got divorced a year and a half ago. his wife basically told him out of the blue one day that she wasn't happy and wanted a divorce. he had no idea that's what she felt. she's already remarried. i'm pretty sure he's still dealing with some commitment issues because of that and i don't want to push him away. i know it's soon to be talking about the future, and i don't want him to feel like i'm forcing commitment on him, so i'm not sure the best way to approach the subject.
DC4 Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 i understand it doesn't mean he's romantically interested--that's why i asked. to be honest, i barely knew him when i slept with him...the chemistry was there, and that's why i pursued it. i didn't know that i'd even like him enough to want a relationship, but it turns out that i do. thanks for the opinions. I think we are dating the exact same guy (without the photo part). We have a great time, he treats me like we are newlyweds aaaaaaaand he still goes on other dates. Don't get comfortable until you know exactly what's going on.
pbjbear Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Based on what you wrote its hard to tell. Alot of guys will feign or pretend theyre more interested in a girl than they are to get a hookup buddy but with this guy, only time will tell. Go with the flow if youre cool with it or if you are too scared ask him. But even then he may not be honest (Ive been in this situation where a guy has lied and said he was looking for more when it turned out later he wasnt) Personally, it sounds like he might like you, despite the constant hooking up and being divorced, so Id just ask. Ask if youre just a hookup buddy or if its going somewhere. Dont pressure him though.
veggirl Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 Committment issues? Girl why are you even bothering?! Run the other way! You're walking straight into heartache if you pursue this guy!!
Yookie Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 You've only known him a week and a 1/2. You both need more time together to determine if you will be a good match. Try to spend more time with him outside of the bedroom so you can find out about his character and his lifestyle. You don't want the sexual connection to cloud your judgement although it sounds like it might be too late. How can you possibly know if he's boyfriend material after a week and 1/2?
Author magicallydelicious Posted December 5, 2012 Author Posted December 5, 2012 i don't necessarily know that he is boyfriend material. i know that i want to explore that option. i enjoy spending time with him, both in and out of the bedroom. even if it just ends as us being friends, that's fine. i'm just looking for advice on how to proceed without seeming clingy or pushy.
SmileFace Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 I am still trying to get over the fact that a grown man asked you to send pics so he can show his friends and you complied. Stop worrying about seeming clingy or pushy. Are you looking for a relationship, a FWB or whatever he is offering? 1
Author magicallydelicious Posted December 5, 2012 Author Posted December 5, 2012 i sent a picture of myself with a low cut shirt. it's not like i sent him nudes to show his friends. you can see a lot more skin from most women at the beach or pool. i know that eventually i want to get married, so yes, i would like someone to commit eventually. at this point, i don't know him well enough to know that i really want to commit to him. i'm trying to determine what his feelings toward me are.
SmileFace Posted December 5, 2012 Posted December 5, 2012 i sent a picture of myself with a low cut shirt. it's not like i sent him nudes to show his friends. you can see a lot more skin from most women at the beach or pool. I don't care if you sent him a picture of your face alone. Him asking for sexy pictures of you to show his friends is beyond rude and telling enough to me - to guess what he actually thinks of you. 1
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